


Angel for the Underdogs

by AdrianManwaring



Series: Nichomachean Relations [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Dream Sex, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hurt Remus Lupin, Jealous Severus Snape, M/M, Muggle/Wizard Relations, Pansexual Sirius Black, Professors, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 48,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianManwaring/pseuds/AdrianManwaring
Summary: Part One of the Nichomachean Relations Series: Remus Lupin is in for a wild ride when he accepts the position of DADA Professor. Along the way, he meets Jane Adeline; a muggle girl who captures the attention of him and his colleagues. Told in the perspective of both Remus and Jane, this is an "additive" fan fiction that was written to compliment the books and movies. It explores aspects that were left untold, and follows the plot loosely.
Relationships: Remus Lupin & Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Nichomachean Relations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048660
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first ever fanfiction. I've been working on this story throughout the whole pandemic in order to keep some resemblance of sanity. The beginning of this fanfiction starts off slow, but I promise, the story picks up speed later on in the series. Thanks for giving my story a chance! I'll be updating frequently.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters belonging to the Harry Potter universe. All rights go J.K. Rowling. Some verbatim may be used, but only briefly.

Remus Lupin wiped his sweaty palms on his baggy pants and swallowed the taste of copper pennies in his mouth. Within the next hour, the station of Platform 9 ¾ would be bustling with children of all ages, accompanied by their parents and cartfulls of luggage. He shifted his eyes down to his own piece of luggage; a beaten, worn-down leather trunk that held all of his possessions. 

The whirlwind of events that brought him to the station still fogged his mind. It almost didn’t seem real to him. One day, he was getting kicked out of his apartment (the second one this year) and adjusting to park bench beds and soup kitchen meals, and the next, he was greeted by a familiar face.

Albus Dumbledore -- respected headmaster of Hogwarts -- came to Lupin in the dead of night. How the old wizard had tracked his whereabouts down was a mystery, but it was a relief to see him again. They had chatted until it began to rain, and when the first drops fell, Dumbledore had offered him a job.

It was reminiscent of that day oh so long ago when the great man had visited his childhood home and changed his life. He was granted entry into Hogwarts as a little boy who never thought it possible. His condition set him aside from other students, but accommodations were made and Dumbledore showed him nothing but kindness. It was this along with many other reasons that made Remus respect him so much.

Remus had always wanted to be a professor. Growing up, he was a studious child, and thrived in academic settings. Out of his wild group of friends, he was most likely to have his face buried in a book, or to be up late studying. He marveled in the way that his professors captivated his attention, and wished more than anything to replicate that same feeling for a new generation of students. It didn’t take much convincing to accept the headmaster’s offer, supposed “cursed position” rumors be damned.

Now, as the grand Hogwarts Express pulled into the station, Remus took a deep breath and tried to convince himself that everything would be fine. He ignored the strange looks from the children and parents as he boarded the train. He made a beeline for the last compartment, hoping to distance himself. Once situated in the corner, he threw his coat over himself and tried to rest.

That is, until the compartment doors opened a few minutes later. Hushed voices broke the silence, and he felt the seats move slightly. A group of students now occupied his personal space, but he didn’t mind all that much. He didn’t expect to have the compartment all to himself anyways with so many passengers.

“Who d’you reckon he is?” a young voice said. Remus kept his eyes shut and tried to stay still. It would be awkward for him to join in on their conversation.

“Professor R. J. Lupin,” a female voice replied. Remus briefly wondered how the young witch knew him, before the first voice took the words from his mouth.

“How do you know that?”

There was a brief pause, and the girl sighed. “It’s on his  _ case _ .”

“Oh.”

The compartment door closed, sealing the four of them inside. Remus could have sworn he heard the squeak of a rat over the rumbling sound of the train moving.

“What do you reckon he teaches?” the boy wondered. Remus chose to ignore the judgemental undertone in his voice.

“ _ Honestly _ , Ron,” the girl sighed again. “Use your head. There’s only one position needing to be filled this year. Defense. Same as always.”

“This bloke? Look at him. A slight breeze could take him out. How’s he supposed to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts?”

_ Ouch _ , Remus thought.

“Shh!” shushed the girl. “Don’t say such rude things. He might hear!”

“Honestly, Hermoine. He’s sleeping. Look at him.” The boy paused. “Sorry, Harry. You meant to tell us something?”

At the mention of Harry, Remus’s heart skipped a beat. His best friend’s son Harry was in his third year at Hogwarts. Remus hadn’t seen the boy since he was merely an infant, before the tragic passing of his friends. The boy wouldn’t remember him, but Remus had spent years thinking about him. Would he be studious like his mother? Or perhaps athletic like his father? Would he like Remus as a professor? What if, upon meeting the boy, Remus was too enthusiastic? Would he find his friendliness towards the boy overbearing? Uncomfortable? Merlin, what if he hated Remus?

“I don’t go looking for trouble,” a new voice --  _ Harry _ , he presumed -- grumbled. “Trouble usually finds me.”

The children talked about wizarding news and excitedly chatted about Hogsmeade, the wizard village that Hogwarts students frequented on breaks. Remus dozed in and out of consciousness, catching a few quick naps in between their conversations. The doors to their compartment opened and closed a few times, but Remus paid it no attention. 

The sudden screeching of metal brought Remus back to his senses. He remained still, but couldn’t help but shiver. The train had grown cold. Unnaturally cold.

“We can’t be there already,” the girl, Hermoine, stated bluntly. “That was a short journey.”

“Bloody hell,” the boy whispered. Remus felt his foot scuff over his. “The window!”

Remus’s face pressed against the glass. He heard a crackling noise, and the feeling of ice crystals stung against his cheek. Something was definitely wrong. He grunted, stirring from his uncomfortable position in the corner and opening his eyes. All he saw was darkness. Someone else brushed up against him; an elbow. He cracked his knuckles and conjured a flame in his scarred palm. At once, the compartment was illuminated in a weak flickering light. Three stunned faces stared back at him; a girl with curly brown locks, a pale boy with strikingly-red hair, and-.

Remus swallowed harshly. The last boy that his eyes settled on was the spitting image of James. Dark, unruly hair. Round glasses. But what identified him above everything else, he noticed with a heavy heart, were his eyes. They were Lily’s eyes.

  
  



	2. The Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus arrives at the Feast, where he reflects on his first day of school. He catches up with old acquaintances, and meets a new face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introductions! Wow! The first few chapters of this story are unfortunately the equivalent to a corny pilot episode of a TV show. Stick with me, I promise I'll make it worth your time.
> 
> Contains slight verbatim from POA

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was buzzing with excited students. The grand walls of the great hall glowed under the light of a thousand floating candles. It was always an enchanting sight, both to newcomers and returning guests alike. The first year students, bubbly and curious as ever, whispered amongst each other and pointed at the various decorations and oddities in the room.

Remus Lupin shuffled in awkwardly, having arrived later than most of the staff and faculty. Most professors, if not all, made the trip to Hogwarts days in advance. Remus couldn’t afford such luxuries. The student’s train was free transportation and perfectly fine to take, so long as he ignored the confused stares of the passing students who watched him on the train. He was willing to give up some of his dignity if the price was right.

After snaking through the crowd and mumbling a few apologies, he finally found his nameplate at the table of professors. Once settled in, he glanced down the line of professors and was pleasantly surprised to find that a good majority of the people who taught him as a boy were still teaching now. There were a few unfamiliar faces, as expected. He’d become acquainted with them later.

The sorting dragged on for quite some time. He remembered how nervous he was when his name was called on his first day. He was almost certain that he’d be sorted into Ravenclaw, but when the old hat announced he’d been sorted into Gryffindor, he nearly leapt up in surprise.

But that was long ago, and the memories -- in hindsight -- now felt tainted.

“Welcome!” The strong voice of Albus Dumbledore drew Remus out of his thoughts. “Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! To our new students, let me introduce myself. My name is Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts. I look forward to this upcoming year with each and every one of you. But first, I must address more pressing matters.”

“It has come to my attention that earlier today, there was an incident involving a dementor on the Hogwarts Express. Although unexpected, we are aware of the incident and it is being handled privately. This year, Hogwarts is playing host to Azkaban’s dementors, who are here on official ministry orders. Do not be alarmed.”

Remus chewed his lip. If there were dementors on school grounds, something serious must be going on. He wondered if this had anything to do with Sirius Black esca-.

 _No,_ he scolded himself. _Get him out of your mind_.

“I do, however, wish to warn you. They are stationed at every entrance of the castle and will be patrolling the grounds. Let it be known that leaving school grounds without permission would not only be unwise, but extremely dangerous. Dementors are not to be messed with. Fancy spells and invisibility cloaks will not fool them, and Dementors are not known to show mercy. Give them no reason to harm you.”

There was an uncomfortable murmur between the children. The professors shared looks.

“Onto more uplifting news.” The headmaster clapped his hands together. “We have three new additions to our staff this year. First, I would like to introduce a man that perhaps requires no introduction. Rubeus Hagrid will be taking over as Professor of Care of Magical Creatures.”

The floor shook, and from the corner of his eye, Remus spotted the giant oaf of a man. The students clapped loudly at the mention of his name. As the man stood, the applause erupted into an adoring roar. It was clear that Hagrid was popular with the children.

“Next up, I would like to introduce Professor R. J. Lupin, who has agreed to fill the position of Defense Against the Dark arts. Good luck, professor.”

Dumbledore waved a hand to Remus, giving him a kind wink when they locked eyes. Remus stood up and bowed slightly, unsure of what to do. Students and staff applauded politely; perhaps the people who clapped the loudest in the room were none other than Harry and his friends, who had given him a standing ovation. He smiled bashfully, taking his seat.

“And last but not least, we have a new groundskeeper. Please join me in welcoming Miss Adeline, who will be accompanying Professor Hagrid with his duties.”

Remus watched as a thin young woman from the other side of the table stood up. She seemed notably younger than everyone else at the table. Her short brown hair flipped up at the ends, hiding her face from his view. She bent down to whisper something to Hagrid before she waved happily and sat down.

“Now, I wouldn’t want to hold your attention from this glorious feast before you any longer.” Dumbledore beamed. “Let the feast begin!”

The clatter of forks and spoons and chatter filled the great dining hall. The food in front of him smelled delicious, but as much as his stomach protested, he kept his hands at his sides. He hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days, and his stomach practically caved into itself at this point, but the risk of eating weighed heavy in his mind. Hogwarts, having spared no expense, used only the finest china and silverware in the dining hall. It was gorgeous, but it came at a cost: silver.

The memory of his first day at Hogwarts flashed briefly in his mind again. He had been so hungry that he shoveled food into his mouth without thinking. It was only when his hand began to burn that he realized what the utensils were made out of. Anything that touched the serving dishes or his silverware touched silver. Essentially, he had poisoned himself without realizing. He fled the dining hall with Gryffindor’s head boy and spent the rest of the night vomiting in the hospital wing.

Lupin shook the unpleasant memory away. He curiously eyes the serving dishes, and when nobody was looking, he tested the dish by quickly touching it.

No burn. It was safe.

He unwrapped his utensils from the cloth napkin beside his plate and tested each one with a few taps. Nothing. The corners of his mouth tugged into a smile as he realized that his silverware wasn’t silver at all; unlike everyone else around him, his was made of a different metal. Another little detail that he’d have to remember to thank Dumbledore for later.

Remus filled his plate with great speed, sampling as much as he could without looking greedy amongst his tablemates. Someone beside him cleared their throat. He could feel their eyes glaring into the back of his head, and when he looked up from his plate, he wasn’t surprised at all that the glare belonged to Snape.

“Hello Severus,” he said, trying to break the tension. “I hear you hold the position of Potions here?”

Snape looked him up and down, eyes full of resentment. “Yes.”

Remus took a long sip of his drink to avoid the murderous look he was receiving. He swallowed, hard.

“Look, I know my friends and I treated you horribly in the past, but I would like to _leave_ that in the past. I spent many nights feeling guilty about it, but we were children, Severus. We’ve grown since then, and now we’re coworkers. I have no harsh feelings towards you.”

The dark haired professor’s glare lingered, but he huffed and turned his head.

“I was informed to make your potion, Lupin. You don’t have to suck up to me.”

He blushed, returning his attention to his plate. His relationship with Snape, as it would seem, was still on the rocks. Even after all these years.

The food was absolutely divine. It probably helped that Lupin was starving, but even then so, it was wonderful. He fought the urge to eat himself into a coma. Conversation on his end of the table was limited. He didn’t know the professor to his left, and he never got the chance to, as he was invested in a long conversation with the woman next to him. Snape was on his right, and he wasn’t going to hold a conversation with him. He ate in content silence.

Soon, the ceremony came to a close, and the professors rose from their table to help the students file out of the hall in an orderly fashion. Remus lingered by one of the side doors, smiling at the passing students and making himself useful when needed. As the final students tricked out, he heard a voice to his right.

“So you’re the other new blood, huh?”

He turned to face the young woman he had seen at the ceremony and tried to recall what her name was. _It started with a vowel. Miss… Miss…_

“I’m Miss Adeline, but you can call me Jane.” She chuckled sweetly. “I’ve told the staff to do the same. Whatever’s easier to remember though. I don’t mind.”

“Ah, yes, I saw you at the ceremony.” He extended a hand out to her. “Remus Lupin.”

The young woman shook his hand. Up close, he could make out more of her features. What took him by surprise, however, was how short she was. Standing beside Hagrid, he assumed she was average, but now standing before him, she only came up to his shoulders. She had an air of warmth and comfort surrounding her that Lupin quite liked.

“Did you attend Hogwarts?” he asked her, wondering if she was a former student.

“Ah, no.” She shook her head. She gestured for him to bring his ear closer. “Truthfully, I’m not actually a witch. I’m just here to tend to the grounds and study the different plants here.”

Remus straightened up. “I see. Your parents, I assume then, are magic?”

Again, she shook her head. “Nope. Both are muggles.” She giggled. “Such a strange word. Muggles.”

Remus tilted his head. Hogwarts, to his knowledge, had never invited muggles onto the grounds. Muggles, as a rule of thumb, weren’t usually seen in the wizarding world at all.

“Curious,” he stated, smiling down at the girl. “How did you find yourself here?”

“It’s a bit of a strange story, actually. I was working at a greenhouse by my home when an old man approached me. I spoke with him, assuming he was a customer, and eventually he asked me if I’d be interested in a hands-on research opportunity he knew of.” She glanced up at Remus and blinked. “The old man was Dumbledore, by the way.”

Remus grinned, clearly amused. “I gathered as much, yes.” 

“Once we talked further in private, he explained what he did and where his school was located. One thing led to another, and I ended up here.”

“Interesting.” Remus hummed. “Sorry to invade, I was just surprised. Your situation is quite… unorthodox. I suppose Dumbledore saw something in you.”

“I suppose so.” She folded her hands behind her back. “Were you a student here?”

“Years ago, yes. I was a Gryffindor student. A prefix in my later years.”

“A prefix, huh?” She smiled. “I guess that means I’m talking to a pretty important person right now.”

He laughed. “Not anymore. But I took school very seriously when I was younger.”

“I would take it seriously too if I went to school here.” Her eyes widened. “This castle is beautiful. I would never want to leave if I was a student.”

From across the room, a group of professors laughed. Hagrid’s voice boomed above everyone else.

“Hey, Adeline! Come an’ tell them the story you were tellin’ me at dinner.”

She giggled quietly to herself. “I guess I’m needed over there.” She looked up at him once more. “I’ll see you around then, Remus.

He nodded silently, sending her off with a warm smile.


	3. A Late Night Stroll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane decides to tour the castle at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to tolerate Filch slander. My man's just trying to do his job. I see you, Filch. I see you.

Jane crept down the hallway, trying to be as light on her feet as possible. The first week of school proved to be a bit of a culture shock for her. Hagrid took a liking to her very quickly, showing her around the grounds and giving her basic rundowns of her duties. She learned about what tools to use, what areas to avoid, and what plants to stay away from. In the pocket of her overalls hid a small notepad, chock full of notes that she’d taken while he carried on talking. Hagrid, she noticed, was a loquacious man. He had a kind heart -- something she picked up on immediately -- and his groundskeeping knowledge was admirable. But often when he spoke, he talked over himself, cutting himself off to say “ _ I shouldn’t have said that _ ,” or “ _ but that’s enough of that _ .” Regardless, it was amusing, and she was glad that he was her first friend in this strange new place.

For as much time that she spent outdoors, she barely knew her way around the interior of the castle. That’s why she was currently sneaking around the castle at night, alone and equipped with a small handheld flashlight to light her way.

Each turn she made led her to something new. There were paintings covering the walls, actual real  _ moving _ paintings that could  _ talk _ , and doors and corridors that seemed to go on forever.  _ You could really get lost in a place like this _ , she observed.

She reached a wide, open room and gasped, nearly losing her footing. Where there had once been a set of stairs, there was nothing at all. In the dark, a loud, grinding stone sound echoed out. Heart nearly beating out of her chest, she dared to look over the blunt edge of the path, watching as multiple staircases turned this way and that, creating a jumble of paths. It was like nothing she’d ever seen before.

The staircases stopped abruptly, locking into place with a deep bang. Jane decided to leave this area for another day, though she made a mental note to come back.

Retracing her steps, she made a new turn into a new hallway. The pitch black path before her tempted her to continue further. Each step she took echoed back to her, a stark contrast to the sharp silence that surrounded her. Something moved beside her, making her jump. She clutched her chest and shined her light, but the only thing beside her was a portrait of a man in navy robes. He groaned, shielding his eyes from behind the frame.

“Put that light out!” He scolded, giving her a pointed stare.

“Sorry,” she whispered, pointing the light back ahead.

Jane was now hyper aware of the sounds around her. She couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was following her, even as she ducked down another corridor. Every so often, she’d shine the light behind her, but each time she was met with emptiness. That is, until she finally shone the light towards the floor.

An old, scruffy cat sat on the stone floor, peering up at her with glowing eyes. Its fur was matted, and its tail appeared to have been broken before. It meowed at her, insistently trying to announce its presence.

“Well hello there,” she cooed softly, getting down on her knees. “Who are you?” 

She held her hand out for the cat to sniff. It seemed hesitant at first, but eventually it gave her a thorough sniff. Once satisfied, it came closer and meowed again.

“What are you doing, wandering the halls alone?”

She scratched the cat’s head with her fingertips. It made a pleased noise and pushed its head into her hand. She moved her fingers down to rub its chin. The cat purred and stretched its neck out, urging her to continue.

“Children out of bed,” she heard someone growl from afar. “Children wandering the halls. I’ll get ‘em this time. They’ll see.”

A hunched figure rounded the corner. In his hand dangled a flickering lantern. Light poured into the hall.

“Mrs. Norris,” he called out excitedly, steps quickening. “Who did you catch, my dear?”

Jane could make out the features of the old man much clearer as he got closer. His long hair tapered into a bald patch on the top of his head. His beady eyes were dark, and his face showed years worth of worry lines. Apparently, he could see her clearer too, because his excited steps slowed.

“Oh,” he grumbled. “Not a child.”

The cat had now crawled up onto her lap. She continued to give it affection, despite the confused look from the man towering over her.

“This is quite a lovely cat,” she stated, meeting his eyes. “I’m assuming it’s yours?”

“Yeah,” he grunted. He patted the side of his leg twice, and the cat waltzed over to his side. “Mrs. Norris.”

“What an extraordinary name,” she mused, rising to her feet. “She’s very sweet.”

He glanced down at his pet. “She doesn’t usually take kindly to strangers.”

“I’m honored to be chosen, then.”

The man eyed her curiously, but offered what possibly resembled a small grin.

“I suppose so.”

Without saying goodbye, he and the cat ventured onwards. Jane watched the odd duo with a strange fascination. Hagrid would hear about this encounter tomorrow.


	4. Professor Adeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane is offered the job of a lifetime.

The month of September went by in a flash. Managing the grounds became easier with time. Jane was quick to learn the names of various plants after an alarming run-in with a patch of wild thornfuzzbers. She never imagined in all her years of life that a plant could have teeth. The bites healed on their own, but the startling encounter made her much more careful with her work.

Faces were becoming easier to recognize. Of course, there was the ever-so-unforgettable Hagrid. She got along quite well with the divination professor, Sybill Trelawney. She was very skittish, but when she heard of Jane’s interest in tea reading she was more than happy to sit with her at meals. She had heard the students talk about the school’s potions professor in hushed voices, but despite their chatter, she had taken an interest in Severus Snape. He came off as harsh and aloof, but she was curious to see if she could befriend the wizard. Maybe she’d pay him a visit soon.

Jane paused her work to pick at the dirt under her nails. She was thankful for the clouds that covered the sky today, for she had been doing several outdoor tasks and didn’t wish to suffer under the sun’s wrath. Hagrid would be returning from his class very soon to help her. She didn’t know how he managed to do all this on his own for years.

“Ah, there you are, Miss Adeline.” A familiar soothing voice called out to her. “I was wondering if you’d like to join me in my office. There is something I feel we should discuss.”

Jane brushed her hands off on her legs and stood up.

“Hello sir.” She smiled warmly at the headmaster. “Nothing bad, I hope?”

“Not bad at all,” he winked, holding his arm out to lead her. She accepted his invitation.

She had only ventured into Dumbledore’s office once before, on the first day of classes. He had summoned her and the other new professors to discuss their duties and answer any questions they had. She remembered the strange red bird sitting on the headmaster’s desk, but aside from that, she hadn’t taken the time to truly look around his office. There were so many items to look at; so many things that tugged at her curiosity.

“Please, take a seat,” Dumbledore said, gesturing to the seat opposite of him. Jane followed his orders, sinking into the soft leather.

“Well, I see no point in beating around the bush.” He adjusted his half moon glasses. “Our Professor of Muggle Studies has had to step down after an unfortunate family emergency.”

Jane frowned. “That’s terrible. Will they be alright?”

“Professor Burbage will be okay. We have offered her our full support, and are currently looking into the matter to see if we can be of assistance during these hard times. She has been an important asset to our staff, and when she is ready to return to her position, Hogwarts will welcome her back with open arms.”

The headmaster looked over the top of his glasses.

“Now, I’m sure you’re curious as to why you’ve been invited to my office today.”

Jane nodded.

“I cannot find another professor to cover for Professor Burbage with such short notice. I was wondering Miss Adeline, if you would like to take on this responsibility.”

Jane stilled. “You… want me? To teach?”

“Precisely.”

She chuckled nervously. “All due respect, sir, but I don’t have the correct qualifications to be a professor. People go to school to become teachers and professors. I don’t have that experience.”

The headmaster folded his hands politely. “Witches and wizards have studied the history and culture of muggles, and therefore a certification is required for the position. But you, my dear, have grown up in the muggle world. You _are_ the certification.”

She watched the majestic red bird perch itself onto the older man’s shoulder. It jerked its head sideways and blinked at her.

“...What would I be teaching about?”

“Muggle studies is a course that details how muggles live and function without the use of magic. It covers inventions, historic events, and day to day life.”

“Would I still be able to keep my position as groundskeeper?”

The corners of Dumbledore’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “You and Hagrid will assist each other in regards to groundskeeping duties as normal. Muggle studies is an elective for older students, so there are not as many class periods as other mandatory classes. If these responsibilities become too much, we can discuss altering certain job requirements of your groundskeeping duties.”

A slow smile crept onto her face to match his.

“Then I would be honored to take the position.”

He clapped his hands together, startling the bird who had just begun to drift off. “Fantastic. I will announce your decision before dinner tonight. For now, though, I will let you get back to work. Unless, of course, there is something you wish to ask me.”

Jane hesitated. There was so much she wished to know, beginning with their first encounter. Why had he approached her, of all people? She thought about the extreme measures he must have taken to get her here. Why go through all this trouble?

Despite herself, Jane shook her head.

He dismissed her briefly. She practically skipped down the stairs. Professor Adeline. It had a nice ring to it. She repeated the title in her head, unable to contain her growing excitement.

_Hello class, my name is Professor Adeline. I will be your muggle studies professor._

_Oh, Hello Professor Adeline, would you save me a seat at the faculty meeting?_

_Professor Adeline, what will we be learni-_

Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she realized she had nearly walked straight into one of her colleagues. She anxiously ran a hand through her hair in an attempt to hide her inattentiveness.

“Well hello there.”

She looked up at the man, recognizing him from the feast. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to say something.

“Hi,” she said lamely.

“Do you always find yourself walking into people blindly?” He smirked. “That seems like an unfortunate habit.”

She blushed. “Sorry. I was lost in my thoughts.”

He chuckled. “They say that daydreaming is a sign of intelligence. Don’t apologize for it.”

After pairing his voice with his face, his name slowly came back to her. This was Professor Lupin, the new professor.

“Where have you been? I haven’t seen you around the castle.”

“I keep to myself most of the time.” He began to walk with her in the direction she was heading before their encounter. “You can usually find me in my office. Not one for socializing between periods.”

Jane frowned. “Surely you venture out sometimes.”

“On occasion, yes.” He shrugged, hands in his pockets. “But not when the children are around. I find that quiet strolls are good for managing your thoughts.”

“No wonder I haven’t been able to find you,” she joked. “You’re a recluse.”

Lupin grinned. “I enjoy other people’s company. I just never think to seek it out. It slips my mind.”

“Is that an open invitation then?” She looked up at the taller man. “Should I invite myself over to your office? Maybe then we could actually have a good conversation.”

He placed his hand on his chest, fanning fake offense. “Is that not what we’re doing right now? I thought this was a genuine bonding moment.”

“It could be.” She slowed her pace. “Come grab something to eat with me. We’ll get the boring introduction questions out of the way.”

Lupin seemed to consider her offer. “I think I can take you up on that.”


	5. Severus Snape and the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus runs into Jane in the library. Jane finally confronts the mysterious Severus Snape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the "introduction" chapters. From here on out, the plot will begin to develop. 
> 
> Possible trigger warning: mention of molestation as a side comment. Nothing is described. It's just an offhand comment.

“That’s all I have for today. Be sure to have six inches of parchment on swernrats ready for me to grade by next class. And yes, Glensley, I can see you pretending not to hear me.”

Lupin dismissed his class and ignored the few groans he heard. Swernrats were easy creatures to understand, and six inches was a generous request, considering it was one of the only written assignments he’d given out this year. A handful of students that walked out wished him a good rest of his day. The small action made Remus’s heart swell with adoration.

He enjoyed teaching more than he’d expected. It was nice to return to his roots, of course, but the exhilaration he got from educating was indescribable. There were rare moments where he could see the flicker of genuine interest and curiosity in his students’ eyes, and those little moments made him proud. Who knew that finding a job he truly loved would make him feel this excited for life?

With his last class over, Remus had about an hour to spare until his next class. Part of him knew that he should use the time to prepare, but the bigger part of him pushed him to wander and stretch his legs. He waited for the hallways to empty and locked his classroom behind him. A quick stroll to the library and back wouldn’t hurt.

It had been years since Remus stepped foot in the dusty archives of Hogwarts. Too many years. He missed the endless rows of books dearly; missed the private study booths in the back of the library and the ever-listening ears of Madam Pince, shushing anyone who dared to speak over a whisper.

So many hours were spent in the dim light here, bent over books and essays. At night, he and his friends snuck down under the security of James’ invisibility cloak and wandered the restricted section until they were all too grown to fit under it. Young Remus has never seen so many books, and was determined to read them all. 

From a way’s down, he spotted Miss Adeline searching the shelves. Her finger dragged over the spines of books until she found one that struck her interest. Remus followed after her.

“Jane,” he whispered, trying to get her attention without raising his voice. She was still a good ways ahead of him, so she likely wouldn’t hear him. He ducked around the bookshelf, aiming to meet her on the other side. He peeked his head around the corner.

“Hello.”

Jane stifled a yelp, remembering where she was. “Hi, _Christ_ Remus. Where the hell did you come from?”

“I tried calling for you, but it’s hard to be loud when you’re in a library."

“Ah.”

They stood facing each other in a moment of awkward silence. Remus noticed the book she held under her arm.

“What on earth prompted you to read a book about Azkaban?”

She smoothed her hand over the cover of the book. “The students have been talking about this man who escaped from there recently. Have you heard?” The innocence in her question threw Remus off guard. “Apparently it was thought to be impossible to escape. That’s why there’s all those freaky looking creatures-”

“-Dementors,” Remus cut in.

“Yeah. Dementors. That’s why they’re watching over this place. They think the guy might try to come here. I haven’t the faintest idea why he would come to a school, of all places. Unless he was like,” she lowered her voice and leaned closer, “a child molestor, or something.”

Remus choked on his own saliva. He coughed wildly, while onlooking students turned their heads towards the pair.

“No,” _cough_ , “No, I don’t believe Sirius Black is a child molestor. He was a dark wizard. He blew up an entire street corner while chasing a man named Peter Pettigrew.” Remus winced. “You’ll have to ask someone else about that, though. It’s a very… sore subject.”

“But why would he come here? What’s so important?”

Remus looked around uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, but I can’t speak much on this issue. The knowledge I have on the topic is… limited.”

Remus left Jane with an apologetic smile.

* * *

Jane cradled her book in her arm and gripped the railing with her free hand. The spiral staircase that led to the dungeons was long, and she preferred to not fall down them in an embarrassing fashion. It got noticeably colder the further down she went. A slight chill crept up her arms.

She traveled down the narrow hallway until she reached a closed door with a plaque that read _Professor Snape_. A few Slytherin students emerged from their dorms, eyeing her suspiciously. She ignored the attention and knocked anyway. From the other side, she heard a sigh, and then footsteps.

“Do you have an appointment?” asked a low, nasally voice.

“Well, no, but-”

A little window on the door slid open. Two dark eyes scanned over her.

“I’m not expecting anyone.”

“I was wondering if we could talk. We haven’t formally met yet.”

“Students must request an appointment. If you wish to speak with me, you should have approached me after class, not when I am busy in my office. Do not waste my time.”

The window shut abruptly.

“I’m… I’m not a student.”

The window reopened and the eyes returned.

“Ah.”

Jane stepped back as the door creaked open. Snape peered down at her, a look of distaste on his face.

“Come in…?” He stepped aside, allowing her to enter.

The first impression she got from his office was that it was very dark. Dark lighting, dark walls, dark floors, dark green shades and black leather furniture. The second, more obvious thing was the giant collection of potions, vials and cauldrons in the center of the room.

“Well, if I didn’t know you were the Potions Professor before, I sure do now.”

Snape glared at her. Or maybe just stared. Everything he did seemed more intense. “I don’t value small talk.”

“Oh,” she whispered, voice squeaking a bit. “Okay.”

He waved his hand. “Why are you here?”

“Well, I trust that Dumbledore has told you about me.”

Snape gave her a blank stare.

“About how I’m a muggle.”

He huffed, annoyed. “Yes, Professor Adeline, I am aware. Please continue, I don’t have all day.”

“Right. Well, you see, I’m very curious about the wizarding world. Sybill tells me that you know quite a lot about the dark arts.”

His head snapped around. Jane noticed how, for a second, he seemed anxious. “What did she tell you?”

“Only that you’ve wanted to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor for years.” Jane spoke quickly. “She said Dumbledore never gave you the position, but you’re more than qualified for it.”

At this, Snape visibly relaxed. “Yes. I am especially endowed in that area.”

“I figured that, since Remus will be overwhelmed with his first year teaching, perhaps you could help me learn more about it? Dark arts, I mean.”

The professor eyed her curiously. “And why do you presume I’ll drop everything to teach you?”

“I’m not asking for you to drop everything,” she protested. “I just thought that it would be good to get my information from someone who is… _especially endowed_ in the topic.” Snape scowled at the use of his own words thrown back at him.

“What do you wish to learn?”

“Whatever you’re offering. Dark creatures, history, whatever you want. I just want to learn. It’s all very fascinating stuff.”

Snape studied her, as if he were calculating his next move. She tried to hold his stare, but found it too intense. Her eyes searched the room, avoiding him at all costs. _Maybe this was a bad idea_.

“I will see if my schedule allows it,” he said finally. “You may leave my office now.”

“Thank you,” said Jane. “I can work with that.”

“And Miss Adeline,” he called out as Jane had her hand on the door. “Don’t go around telling people that I’m teaching you about the dark arts. It’s _defense against_ the dark arts. Saying otherwise has a negative connotation that I do not need to be associated with.”

“Understood.”


	6. A Lesson in the Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jane pays a visit to a certain Divination Professor, predictions are made, and Jane receives a lesson in the most unlikely of places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! I'm trying to post a chapter a week, though with the holidays, my schedule has been thrown off. More to come, I promise! Comments, though not necessary, are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Days passed, and Jane received no word from Professor Snape. She decided not to dwell on it; after all, throwing together a set of private lessons surely took time. Classes became easier to manage, she began to learn the names of her students, and finding her way around the castle was not as daunting of a task anymore. Making the transition into professorhood became more and more like an everyday task than a terrifying responsibility. Before she knew it, she had survived her first month at Hogwarts.

On one occasion, Jane received an invitation to tea with Sybill Trelawney. Upon searching for her secluded classroom (and climbing an impossible amount of stairs) she found the professor at a table, staring into a crystal ball. Not wanting to startle the woman, Jane raised her fist to knock.

“No need, my dear girl.” Trelawney waved over the crystal ball, not bothering to look up. “I sensed your presence as you climbed the stairs. Do sit down.”

Professor Telawney’s classroom was notably different than every other classroom she’d seen. For one, it was quite small. Instead of desks, there were several round tables spread out across the room. All the furniture in the room consisted of plush, mix-matched sofas and cushioned chairs. A strong scent of perfume clouded the already stuffy air.

“I must admit that I do not often receive visitors up here. I rarely make my own appearance downstairs at all. I feel as though it clouds the inner eye.” Sybill scurried over to a cabinet, pulling out two teacups. “Though I sense that I will be down late October for a late night activity. Unusual, though I must trust my senses.”

“I haven’t explored this part of the castle yet.” Jane accepted the cup -- now filled with tea -- and joined the professor at the table. 

“Many do not make the journey. Unfortunately, some of my colleagues refuse to show interest in the fine art of divination.” She tsked, shaking her head sorrowfully. “They do not possess what this noble gift requires. But you, on the other hand. I’ve been told that you may contain it.”

“By who?”

“Whispers of a curious party. Inklings of promise. I sense it, my dear.”

After chatting over tea, Sybill clutched the cup from Jane’s hands and lowered her wide-brimmed glasses to the bridge of her nose. 

“The leaves, my dear. The leaves are speaking to me.” The professor swirled the cup three times and peered into the bottom. “Oh my. Oh, I see. Yes. Very well. A very good reading indeed.”

Jane moved to the edge of her seat.

“An angel, oh, how splendid. Good news is to come. My dear, you will find good fortune in love. Patience in difficult situations. You have connections to a higher spirit.”

She squinted, reading further.

“An arch overhead! I sense a long journey ahead for you, my dear girl. One that reaps unfortunate losses, but a great reward. How interesting, yes! And oh, what’s this?”

Jane watched with wide eyes as Sybill gasped and shook the cup. Her hopeful expression turned into earnest disappointment.

“A knife, blade pointing to a pyramid. Not a good thing to see. Beware of a betrayal; a disclosed secret. Not by me, of course. The art of divination requires my complete honesty. Dishonesty, as you know, clouds the inner eye.”

Jane processed the reading thoroughly. Though she wasn’t entirely sure if she bought it, it was still fascinating to hear what the professor had to say. She would have stayed longer, if it hadn’t been for the abrupt knocking on the door.

“It appears that we have another guest joining us,” observed Sybill. “As predicted, of course. I am relieved to inform you that this visitor is for you. We will have tea again soon, my dear. For now, you must leave me. Bad luck comes in threes.”

The door swung open. Professor Snape lurked in the hallway, casting an acidic glare at Professor Trelawney. Jane said a quick goodbye before following Snape down the stairs.

“You are to accompany me in tonight’s detention. Follow my instructions and do not make a mockery of me in front of the students.”

Jane tried to keep up with the man’s fast paced steps, finding it difficult. “Detention?”

“Yes. Detention. Are you hard of hearing?”

Jane chose not to reply, hearing the iciness in his tone.

“The students will be replenishing my potion ingredients tonight. They will search along the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Do try to keep up, Miss Adeline. I am on a tight schedule.”

Jane weaved around a student and jogged to catch up. 

“Can I ask why you’re taking me into the Forbidden Forest at night?”

Snape huffed. “Your first lesson.”

They snaked through the castle corridors and located the group of children that Snape was to lead. None of them were familiar to her, though all four of them almost seemed to cower when she approached. She followed their terror-filled eyes, realizing that they weren’t scared of her -- they were scared of Snape.

“I trust that you’ve brought the tools required for tonight’s task.” Snape scanned over the group. One of the boys gulped loudly, avoiding his gaze.

“Longbottom.”

The boy -- Longbottom -- jumped.

“I- I forgot, sir.”

Snape grumbled. “As expected, Longbottom, once again you have failed to follow the most basic instructions. Finnigan, share your bucket with Longbottom. Your hours of detention have been extended, since you continue to make such careless mistakes. Join me after this task so that you may sort my ingredient drawers alone. Do not leave until you’re finished.”

Longbottom winced, as did Jane. Professor Snape was truly living up to the school’s rumored descriptions. She had never seen someone take such joy in making children uncomfortable.

“Let’s not waste more time. Come.”

Snape led the small group down the cobblestone path that led to Hagrid’s hut. Hagrid towered over them, holding several lanterns in his large arms. 

“You are to gather materials until I say so. Follow the list I’ve given you, and for everyone’s sake, do not touch anything that is not on the list. Break into pairs, and stay along the edge of the forest. I refuse to lose credibility if one of you decides to carelessly encounter one of Hagrid’s old pets.”

The two men shared a tense stare before splitting off. The children grouped up and began to examine their lists.

“Any day now, Miss Adeline.”

Jane blushed, following Professor Snape into the woods. He led her into the dark forest, his lantern gripped firmly in his fist. The black outline of trees surrounded them, adding to the eerie atmosphere. At night, the forest seemed endless; sounds that Jane couldn’t identify filled the air, and the trees went on for miles. Once out of earshot, Snape turned to face her.

“There are many dark creatures that plague the wizarding world. Most of these creatures dwell deep in the forest, but at night, they come closer. Hence the name.”

Jane nodded. The professor glanced over her, keeping an eye on the students. When he seemed satisfied, he joined Jane’s side and began to walk at a more leisurely pace. 

“This is why I must advise that you do not go snooping around alone here. Especially at night. It would not be wise for anyone, especially one who is not magically inclined, such as yourself.” From under his cloak, he produced a black, leather-bound notebook. “I assume you’d like to take notes, so I’ve provided you with a journal to do so.”

“Thank you,” said Jane. She opened it to the first page and accepted a pencil from the professor. He watched her scribble down the date in the corner.

“I will start with creatures that you might be familiar with from muggle stories. For example, werewolves.”

Jane stopped walking. Snape gave her a puzzled look.

“Werewolves exist?” She chuckled dryly. “You’re kidding.”

“Not only do they exist, they’re also extremely dangerous. Which is why it is important to be able to recognize one when you see one.” He placed a hand on the small of her back and led her onwards. “It is speculated that werewolves, when in human form, are indistinguishable from a normal person.” He lowered his voice to a mumble. “I’ve always found them to be arrogant and insufferable.”

“What was that?”

He coughed. “Indistinguishable. But upon the days leading up to a full moon, the werewolf begins to show signs. The blood grows hotter. They may experience a shift in mood, fine one week and agitated the next. The moon puts the body under physical stress. Bones begin to crack and shift, making movement restricted and painful. Closer to the moon, sweating becomes noticeable. Pain becomes unbearable. A werewolf may disappear when this time comes, preparing for the change. They become withdrawn from social situations. They may disappear for a few days, until the change is complete.”

Jane’s hand moved swiftly across the page. “And when they change? What do they look like?”

“In accordance with their name, they do take on a wolflike form. But there is a great difference. The werewolf sprouts fur and paws akin to a common wolf, but it becomes a kind of morph between man and wolf. The skull expands to accommodate a snout, and teeth become sharp and elongated. Ears taper into a point. The body grows taller, the legs break and stretch, and limbs grow longer. It is rumored that once the transformation is complete, all remnants of the human mind disappear, and the mind of the wolf takes over. Any person to cross its path-” he paused, holding an arm out to stop her. He lifted his wand, and a flash of light struck a decent-sized snake near Jane’s foot. It went rigid for a moment, then collapsed limply to the ground. “-is destined to meet a rather unfortunate fate. A werewolf, during a full moon, cannot recognize a friend from a meal. Hence why it is important to detect them when you see one.”

They began to walk back in the other direction. Jane’s notes nearly filled three pages on their own. 

“Are they born as werewolves?” Her pencil hovered over the page. “Or is it passed on through contact, like a virus?”

“Yes and no.” Snape stepped over a stray twig. “It’s rumored to be hereditary, though this has never been proven. More often, it is transferred through attacks. Werewolves are defined by a condition they possess called lycanthropy. A werewolf’s bite is the defining moment of an attack. If you are scratched, touched, or bruised by a werewolf, you remain human, though when scratched, one might take on minor traits of a werewolf, such as dietary changes. If you’re bitten, the lycanthropy is spread to you in whole.”

“That sounds awful.”

“I suppose so.” The professor gazed off into the distance. “I’m not entirely fond of werewolves. I think you’ll find that most of the population agrees with me. They’re dangerous creatures, and dangerous people. Most werewolves keep their lycanthropy a secret. Otherwise, employment would be near impossible. Rightfully so.” 

Jane could hear the targeted bitterness in his last statement. 


	7. Falling Into Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some filler to show time passing. Remus falls into a comfortable routine.

Remus splashed ice cold water onto his face as he willed himself to get ready for the day. Though he was still in the beginning stages of the school year, he found himself falling into the stirrings of a daily routine. A routine, he admitted, that was hard to keep up with. Waking up at six in the morning every day seemed more challenging than it did when he was in his teenage years. 

But what an  _ experience _ . Once he got over the initial morning grogginess, he was reminded of the tasks ahead of him. Lesson plans, curriculum review, grading, the works. With three free meals a day, a roof over his head, a steady job, and a connection to his late friend’s son, Remus didn’t mind the early awakenings.

And  _ oh _ , Harry. His time with the boy had been limited--having only had a few classes together this early into the semester--but he could already see pieces of James and Lily in him. Such promise in such a young kid. He couldn’t wait to see how he held up with his future lessons and demonstrations. Merlin knows his father was especially skilled in combat.

There was, of course, another perk of his job. Spending time around people. Socializing with colleagues and forming bonds without fear of getting fired and losing touch or moving away. It was something that hadn’t crossed the professor’s mind until he noticed how social the faculty and staff at Hogwarts were. Dumbledore, when not busy, was a delight to have conversations with. He’d been meaning to speak with McGonagall, but her office was on a side of the castle that he did not frequently visit. And then there was the case of Jane Adeline.

She was nice enough, and a delight to talk to. Maybe a bit ditzy, but he didn’t hold that against her. If anything, he chalked it up to her nervous nature. The two had grown quite close over the short period of time they’d known each other; grabbing dinner in the Great Hall and swapping books at the library. Throughout these short meetings, he noticed that Jane began to relax around him. She appeared more grounded and sure of herself in conversations, apologizing less for minor things like stumbling over words or misspeaking. Remus affectionately compared her characteristics to that of a field mouse; skittish, harmless, and timid, but undeniably clever. 

Realizing he’d left the faucet running, Remus turned the water off. He dried his face with a hand towel before throwing on his teaching robes and heading to breakfast.

The house elves presented Remus with his special cutlery upon his arrival, per usual. This, he found out, was only a temporary fix. Dumbledore told him that he had ordered a shipment of fine china and gold utensils to replace the silverware and platters they currently used. A small gesture, but one that came as a relief to the professor.

He took his seat at the professor’s table and scanned the room for familiar faces. Snape sat at the opposite end, farthest away from him. Unsurprisingly, the potions professor continued to avoid him at all costs, shooting him bone-chilling glares every so often. Remus tried to ignore his aggression, but sometimes it was hard to.

Jane entered the room, waving at the professor as she grew closer. Her eyes shifted over to Snape, and the two exchanged looks. The young woman nodded slightly, giving Remus an apologetic smile and walking over to Snape. He watched her pull a chair up to him and crack open a journal. Snape began to talk, and Jane’s quill began to dance over the pages.

Every so often, Snape would lift his head to shoot a strange look at Remus, lips still moving. Remus couldn’t shake the feeling that for some reason, he was being observed. He ate his meal quickly and retired back to his classroom early, eager to escape the unnerving feeling in the room.

_ I wonder _ , thought an uncomfortable Remus,  _ when did they start talking? _


	8. Buckbeak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Halloween just around the corner, Hagrid invites Jane to see his hippogriff.

Jane fought to tame the bubbling excitement that was building up inside her. It took a few days of asking around (in between yard work and lessons), but she’d finally managed to track down Professor Lupin’s classroom. He kept himself quite isolated, but her students were more than willing to point her in the right direction. Sure, she could have simply asked the man, but they were nearly a month and a half into the semester, and admitting to him that she didn’t know where his room was this late into the game would be embarrassing.

Now, if he asked her why she’d never visited until just now… well, she’d cross that bridge when she got to it.

“Lupin,” she called out, nearing his door. Standing in the doorframe, she steadied herself with a few breaths, trying (and failing) to mask her excitement.

“Professor Lupin, I have an unusual proposition for you, and I think you’d be quite dull if you turned it down.”

Remus watched her strut into his classroom, and unusual skip to her step. She stopped a few feet away from him, shooting him a look that practically begged him to ask her more.

“What is this proposition, if I may ask?”

She rocked excitedly on her feet. “Are you aware of a creature known as a hippogriff?”

He frowned. “Yes, I’m familiar. Why?”

“Hagrid invited me down to see one up close.” Her hazel eyes glimmered. “I couldn’t possibly turn him down.”

Remus grunted as he got up from the desk he’d been leaning against. The full moon hadn’t been kind to him this month.

“That’s very exciting, Jane. I expect that you’ll tell me all about it later?”

“Well, that’s where the proposition comes in.” She tilted her head in the direction of the door. “Would you like to come see it for yourself?”

He glanced at his watch. Through the worn, cracked glass, he could see that he still had some time before his next class.

“I suppose I could chance a quick trip.” He reached for his keys to lock up the room. “But I must return within the hour. My fifth years are practicing dueling techniques.”

The October chill was definitely present outside. As Jane led him down the stone path, Remus briefly regretted not bringing a coat. 

“I haven’t been down to Hagrid’s before,” said Remus. “I believe we went to school together, but I can’t recall ever having classes with him. It’s a shame our paths never crossed.”

Jane chuckled sweetly. “He’s a sweetheart. I’ve never met someone so open and inviting. It’s impressive how well he is with handling creatures.”

She turned her head back around, but suddenly stopped in her tracks. Remus followed her gaze and immediately froze. Before them stood a majestic winged creature. It’s beak was large and pointed, and instead of feet, it sported horse-like hooves and razor sharp talons. It screeched at them, pulling on a chain wrapped around its neck. The noise made the two jump back.

“That’s enough, yuh silly beast. Shut yer trap.” From the small cottage emerged Hagrid, dead ferrets in both hands. “Oi! I see yuh brought Lupin along. Yer in fer a treat, I tell yuh.”

“Good afternoon, Hagrid.” Jane stepped forward. “I take it this is the hippogriff you told me about.”

“Yep. Thought I’d bring ‘em a little snack before I introduce ‘em.” He held up the dead ferrets. “Let me toss these to ‘em an’ we can get yuh closer.”

With a practiced ease, Hagrid tossed one ferret into the air. Within the blink of an eye, the beast devoured it whole.

“Buckbeak loves ter jump for ‘em, but the school’s made me chain ‘im up.” He frowned. “Had a bit of a mishap, if yeh haven’t heard.”

“Mishap?” Remus questioned, watching the second ferret fly through the air. Buckbeak snapped his beak shut, catching it midair.

“The Malfoy boy went an’ scared him. Clipped ‘is arm on the first day. I’ll tell you, that Draco is trouble.”

“Ah, yes. Draco was absent from my last class with him.” Remus eyed the hippogriff curiously. “Nothing too serious, I hope?”

Hagrid shook his head wildly. “‘Course not. Jus’ a few scratches. Buckbeak didn’t mean no harm. Here,” he gestured for Jane to join his side, “I’ll show yuh. Slowly now, don’ startle ‘em.”

Jane slowly made her way over to him. The hippogriff followed her, refusing to let her out of his sight.

“You wanna pet ‘im?”

Jane looked up at the big man. “Can I?”

“‘Course yeh can. But there’s a way to do it. Yeh gotta bow first. Hippogriffs are very proud creatures. They won’t let yuh anywhere near ‘em if you don’ respect ‘em.”

Jane circled around the creature until she was facing his front. She watched Hagrid demonstrate how to properly bow and tried to replicate it as best she could. 

“Yer head too. Make sure to dip yer head. Bow very low now. Good, good.”

Jane wasn’t sure if she wanted to take her eyes off of the beast, but ducked her head anyways. From somewhere in front of her, she heard a huff of air and the sound of dirt scraping.

“Hold it there, wait fer my word.”

She closed her eyes, bowing even lower. She felt slightly ridiculous in this position, but she trusted the process.

“Good, now come back up an’ try to get closer. If he clicks ‘is beak, step back.”

She straightened herself out, locking eyes with the creature again. She took two slow steps towards him, feeling her heart pounding in her chest. When the hippogriff didn’t show any signs of aggression, she risked a glance at Hagrid.

“Yer doin’ great! You can pet ‘em, if ye want.”

“Pet him,” she repeated. “Where?”

“On the beak. Or ‘is neck. He’ll let yeh know if he doesn’t like it.”

From a safe distance away, Remus watched as Jane approached the hippogriff. To be honest, he was nervous for her. He had heard how temperamental they could be. She reached a wary hand out, and Remus watched in awe as the hippogriff nuzzled her hand. A child-like sense of amazement washed over her face. She turned around to look at Remus. She was practically glowing.

“Lupin,” called Hagrid. “Yer up, if yuh wanna take a stab at it.”

Remus eyed the hippogriff tensely. It seemed harmless enough, but those talons--he shivered--they looked like daggers. Eventually, his curiosity got the better of him. He found himself facing the beast, bowing his head as he’d seen Jane do. He heard the creature stir, and Jane’s gentle voice trying to soothe him.

When the noises stopped, Remus glanced up. Buckbeak still seemed on edge, but Jane’s soothing definitely calmed him enough to be approached.

“Jane, take ‘is hand and show ‘im that he’s with you. He might trust ‘im better.”

Jane reached for Lupin’s hand. He left her cool fingers wrap around his wrist. She lifted his hand up and showed it to Buckbeak, who tilted his head in return. Then, she placed his hand on his neck and covered it with her own. 

“He’s with me, mister,” Jane teased. Remus snorted.

Eventually, Buckbeak took the hint. Remus ran his fingers through the soft feathers of his neck, sneaking glances at Jane as he did. The same look of innocent amazement was still plastered onto her face.

“He’s so majestic,” she whispered. “This is incredible.”

Footsteps crunched through the autumn leaves behind them.

“If he wasn’t chained up an’ all, I’d let yeh ride ‘em.” Hagrid rubbed his beak. “Harry did. First one teh volunteer, if you can believe it.”

Remus smirked. “Really?”

“Shoulda seen ‘em. Flyin’ through the sky like that broomstick of ‘is. He’s a natural flyer.”


	9. Halloween, the Boggart, and the Janitor Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween at Hogwarts, and everyone is in the trick or treat spirit (though there may be more tricks than treats). Remus invites Jane to observe a lesson, and Jane meets an odd stranger in the hallway.
> 
> This is a long one. Buckle up.

The following days were a blur of excitement. It was Halloween morning, and Jane rushed to get ready earlier than usual. She had places to be, and ghosts to greet. The students at Hogwarts told her about the extravagant Halloween celebrations thrown by the headmaster, and all of the festivities that came with the day. Breakfast was promised to be Halloween themed (Jane secretly hoped for pumpkin pancakes) and some of the professors designed their lessons around the holiday. Hence why Jane was so eager to start her day.

She poked her head into Professor Lupin’s classroom, checking to see if he’d arrived yet. On their way back from the hippogriff encounter, Lupin had invited her to observe a lesson today, claiming that it would be a great deal of fun. And how could she pass that up?

He hadn’t arrived yet, but since the door was left wide open, she let herself in anyways. The desks that were usually arranged in neat rows were pushed aside. In the center of the room sat what appeared to be a giant wardrobe. Her curiosity now sparked, she ventured over to it.

 _I wonder what he’s got planned for today_ , she wondered, running her hand down the side. Dust coated her fingers, which she promptly shook off. The wardrobe door was a mosaic of glass mirror pieces that contrasted the dark wood, but the glass itself was covered in a faint layer of grime. The handle intrigued her. She felt compelled to open it, but resisted the urge. That is, until something from inside shook the entire thing. She flinched, knocking on the wood.

“Erm, Professor Lupin?” She felt a bit stupid. Did she honestly think he was locked inside? She chuckled at the mental image. Again, the wardrobe rattled. Her laughter faded when she heard a groan from inside; a groan that sounded undoubtedly like Lupin.

“Remus?” She asked again, this time with a twinge of nervousness. She heard another muffled noise come from within, sounding unmistakably like her friend. With her suspicions confirmed, she turned the handle and threw open the door, expecting the professor to step out and have a good laugh.

Instead, his bloodied corpse toppled out onto the floor. She shrieked, backing up immediately. His glossy eyes stared off somewhere beyond her. His arms contorted unnaturally at different angles. She gasped, nearly tripping over herself as she ran to his side.

“Remus?” She cried out, reaching to check for a pulse. His skin was cold to the touch, and his wrist hung limp in her grasp. When she raised her hand up to his mouth, she couldn’t feel his breath.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, shaky hands roaming over his body. “Oh god, _oh god_ -”

“Oh dear,” a voice commented from behind her. She jumped with a scream. When a hand clamped down on her shoulder, she spun around to see who the hand belonged to, only to scream again as she stood face to face with a _very much alive_ Remus Lupin.

Her eyes widened and her brows furrowed.

“What-”

“I can explain.”

Her head switched violently between the body on the floor and the man in front of her. “But you’re-”

“Jane…”

“You-”

“Shh.”

“I-I thought-”

“That’s not me, Jane.” He gripped her shoulders to steady her. She jumped at the touch again, still scared and confused. “Quite unsettling to look at, though.”

“What?” She held up a finger and pulled away from him. “What do you mean, that’s not you?” She looked faint. Remus almost considered pulling up a chair for her.

“It’s a boggart. Funny little buggers, they are.”

She backed away from him. “ _Funny_?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, not daring to show his amusement while she was still in such a state. “Here, watch.”

He stepped in front of her and stared directly at it. (He tried to ignore the fact that he was staring into the dead eyes of his own corpse. It was quite a morbid sight, really.) When his focus was locked, his other body swirled and transformed into a full moon. Scrambling to reach for his wand, he drew it and pointed it at the boggart. 

“Ridikulous.”

The moon dropped to the floor. It had taken on the shape of a wheel of cheese. _That’s a new one_ , he chuckled, picking it up and tossing it back inside the wardrobe. He closed the doors and clicked the handles back into place, securing it inside.

“Boggarts have no true form,” he explained. “So they take the shape of whatever their subject’s deepest fears are. I thought it would be a nice hands-on lesson, seeing as though October is coming to a close. Halloween and such.”

He finally turned around to look at her, his smile disappearing when he realized that she was still rather upset.

“Jane, maybe you should take a seat. You look a bit unwell.”

“I-I thought…” she stammered, and Remus immediately realized what had actually just transpired. She had just witnessed her dead friend lying on the ground, and he was casually (and most insensitively) spouting out a lesson. He felt like an idiot.

“Come here,” he said, this time in a much gentler tone. “I’m completely unharmed, I promise. Look, you can touch me if you want. I’m real.”

Jane stepped forward and took his outstretched hand in hers. His skin was warm and full of color. She let go of a breath that she had been holding without realizing.

“I should have touched base with you before explaining,” he confessed, blushing in embarrassment. “I apologize. Are you okay?”

She took a moment to collect herself.

“Yeah, I think so. God, my heart is beating so fast.”

“Rightfully so. Come sit down at my desk,” he urged her, stepping close to lead her. Instead of moving with him, she turned and hugged him.

It caught him by surprise. His eyes flooded with sympathy (and a trace of guilt) and he relaxed, letting her close the gap and wrap her shaky arms around him. He sheepishly hugged her back, trying to calm her down. It seemed to somewhat work.

“Sit,” he commanded, leading her to his desk. “I’ll fix you up something for your nerves.”

Alone in his office, he searched around for the little pink vial that he knew would do the trick. He tried not to dwell on the fact that Jane’s fear involved his dead body, but even so, it filled him with a sick sense of smugness. He was disgusted by himself, but entertained nonetheless. Was she really that fond of him? Perhaps he’d ask her about it another time; once the trauma wore off and they could both laugh about it.

“Here we are,” he announced, reaching the bottom of the stairs and twirling the vial in his nimble fingers. “Drink this. You’ll feel better.”

She drank it in four small sips. It didn’t taste much like anything. The effects were already taking place, though. The shakiness stopped, and Remus noticed a hint of color returning to her face.

“The lesson for today is to practice the spell I used a moment ago. Ridikulous. They’ll be facing what they fear most, and they’ll have to turn it into something funny.” He frowned. “I would still love for you to join us, that is, if you’re up for it.”

As if on cue, the first few students began to trickle in. They eyed her with curiosity.

“I’ll stick around, but I think I’ll keep my distance.” She laughed nervously. “I don’t think I could manage seeing you on the ground like that again.”

“Of course,” he grinned. “I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

The class gathered round in the center of the room, whispering excitedly amongst one another. She recognized a few familiar faces in the class; Neville Longbottom being one of them. He often spent his spare time in the greenhouse with Professor Sprout, and Jane frequented her garden often to study the plants. Neville, from what she’d gathered, was a very sweet boy, if not a bit clumsy. Another girl she recognized, Hermione Granger, answered one of Lupin’s questions. She was a very bright girl who always had her hand up in her class. 

Remus called Neville forward as the first example. Though she made her boundaries clear, Jane couldn’t help but move closer to the action.

“Wands at the ready,” the professor instructed. He whispered something into Neville’s ear, and the boy nodded and lifted his wand. Remus opened the doors to the wardrobe, and Jane inched closer.

Professor Snape revealed himself dramatically, stepping out of the wardrobe with his usual sass that made Jane chuckle on more than one occasion.

“Focus, Neville. Steady.”

The boy nodded anxiously. The tip of his wand pointed at the boggart. 

“Ridikulous!”

After the words left his mouth, fake-Severus spun around, changing into a hideous dress and a feather hat to match. Jane covered her mouth, not wanting to be seen laughing at her co-worker's expense. Lupin, however, had no shame. He was bent over himself in a fit of laughter.

“Very good, Neville! Right, now I want everyone to form a line. Careful, please!”

The students scrambled into formation. Remus smiled at her, beckoning for her to join him. She smiled back, but kept her distance. He shrugged and pulled out a record to play as background music. One by one, the students turned their fears into something comedic. Remus beamed and laughed hysterically after every turn. Jane had never heard him laugh this much. He seemed to be having a blast, as did his eager students.

A boy with unruly black hair stepped up, and Lupin’s smile faltered. His gaze switched focus between the boggart and the boy. It swirled, transforming into what she remembered to be a dementor. The boy’s excited expression turned somber, and he froze in place. Professor Lupin was quick on his feet, jumping in front of the boy with a shout. As his eyes focused on the creature, it turned into the cloudy full moon from before. He hesitated before pointing his wand.

“Ridikulous!”

The moon turned into a balloon, swirling through the air before landing back in the wardrobe. With the flick of his wand, the doors slammed shut. He hastily brought the lesson to a close, much to the class’s disappointment. The students filed out, save for the dark haired boy who remained frozen in place. Lupin knelt down to talk to him, and after exchanging a few words, he reached into his pocket and gave him a piece of chocolate. He patted the boy’s shoulder, and off he went.

“What was that about?” Jane asked once the boy had left. Remus frowned.

“Harry had an unpleasant run-in with a dementor on the train ride here, I’m afraid. Some fears are harder to make humorous than others.”

“I’ll bet,” she laughed dryly. “If your dead body would’ve gotten up off the ground and danced, I would have been even more terrified.”

“As would I,” he chimed in. “I’m a terrible dancer.”

* * *

When the hands of the clock brought Jane’s final class of the day to an end, she tried to gather her things quickly. She wasn’t off the hook to celebrate Halloween night yet. Snape was expecting her in the dungeons for another lesson. The Halloween festivities could wait a little longer.

On her way down, she happened to stumble upon a strange figure alone in the hallway. They were walking slowly, as if they didn’t want to disturb anyone. She entered the corridor, trying to identify who it was.

“Hello there.”

The person--a man--snapped their head up. He froze, watching her with frightened eyes. In the dim light, Jane could make out long, dark hair. The skin around his eyes was so sunken in that he looked close to death. His entire appearance was skeletal, down to the sickly white paleness of his skin. 

“I haven’t seen you around. I thought I’d already met all the ghosts here.”

The man blinked blindly at her.

“You don’t know who I am?” His voice was deep and gravelly.

“No, I don’t believe we’ve met.” She looked him up and down. “It’s strange, if you don’t mind me saying. All the other ghosts are more… transparent. Unless you’re not a ghost. I just assumed.” She swallowed her tongue. “You… are a ghost, right? Because if not, I think I’ve spoken out of turn.”

The man cleared his throat, looking relieved. “Yes, yes. Recently deceased. The opacity fades over time.”

“Ah. I see. Well I’m sorry for your loss...of...yourself.”

The man laughed. “It is what it is. Is this your first year here?”

Jane chuckled. “Yes.”

“I figured. Everyone around here knows me. That’s why I’ve been keeping a low profile.” At this, his playful demeanor faltered. He regained his composure quickly, flashing her a charming grin. “You wouldn’t have happened to stumble across a rat around here, have you? A student lost his today, a Weasley? I’m trying to find it.”

“A rat? No, I haven’t. Sorry.” Jane tilted her head. “Do you need help? I was on my way to a meeting with a professor, but if you want I can get a few people together.”

The man shook his head violently. “No! No, that’s uh, that’s very kind of you, but I’m a…janitorial ghost. It’s my job. Thank you, though.”

“If you insist.” Jane turned to leave, but caught herself. “By the way, what’s your name? In case I find the rat.”

The man bowed to her, and through his charismatic facade, Jane detected a hint of mischief. “The name’s Orion."


	10. The Fat Lady Fiasco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Halloween Night coming to a close, celebrations are brought to a halt when the Gryffindor painting is attacked.

Journal in hand, Jane scurried down the dungeon stairs. Severus Snape was not one to allow tardiness, even within their private lessons. She was informed that tonight’s lesson would be a short one, with Severus showing a rare sliver of kindness keeping the holiday in mind. Though she secretly suspected he just wanted to get to the feast.

“I’m here,” she called out, knocking on his door. “Faced a small detour, but I’m here.”

The dungeon door creaked open, and Severus waved her inside. Not wasting time, he waved his hand and brought a chair up behind her, sweeping her off her feet and onto the cushioned seat. She fell with a soft thump.

“If I may ask, Miss Adeline,” he implored, “is it really such a daunting task to familiarize yourself with the basic passageways of this school? Especially when the school in question is the one you’re employed at?”

Jane worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “I apologize.”

“I am, after all, doing you a favor.” Snape continued. “I fail to see the point of educating you if you will not meet my efforts half-way.”

“Alright, I get it,” Jane stressed, her annoyed tone catching her off guard. She blinked twice to ground herself. “I am grateful for these lessons, Severus, and I do try to get to them on time. Like I said, I just got held back for a few minutes. I’m here now.”

Snape stared at her from across his desk with calculated eyes. After a moment, he straightened up.

“Very well. Open to a new page. Let’s not waste more time.”

They continued on with the lesson. As promised, it was very short. Snape referenced a diagram from a book pulled from his shelf, encouraging Jane to take notes from the physical descriptions on the page. Her notes were only a half-page long before the lesson was brought to an end. They chatted casually, putting away spare papers and tidying his desk.

Snape frowned, biting the inside of his cheek. “If… there is a more suitable location for us to gather… I suppose we could relocate at your convenience.”

Jane’s head snapped up. “Really?”

“So long as you can actually reach the destination on time.”

She nodded. “I think we can work something out.” She stood up, letting Snape leave first. “Going up to the feast?”

His lips formed a thin crease. “Yes.”

“We’ll go together then.”

Snape raised his eyebrows, but evidently didn’t oppose the idea. The door was locked, and the two went on their way.

“Do you normally do anything fun for Halloween?”

She received a quick side-eye. “No.”

“Not even outside of school? Before you became a professor?”

“No.”

“I used to love dressing up. When I was younger, I’d spend months in advance putting it all together.”

“That’s great.”

She chuckled dryly. “You’re not much of a conversationalist.”

“That’s the idea.”

“Doesn’t it get lonely?”

He scoffed. “I’m not  _ lonely _ , Miss Adeline.”

“I beg to differ.”

They stopped walking. Jane crossed her arms and smirked at the man.

“I’ve seen you act hostile towards every staff member and student that approaches you. You give off that ‘don’t talk to me’ vibe, but yet you agreed to give me lessons, and now we’re walking to a party together. It seems to me that you actually want a friend, whether you’re aware of it or not.”

Snape began to walk again. “That conclusion couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“Okay,” she teased, joining him by his side. “I guess I’ll just keep talking to the ghosts until you come around.”

Snape rolled his eyes.

“Actually, I met a new one today.” She doubled her walking pace, trying to keep up with the taller wizard’s long strides. “I’ve never seen him before. That’s why I was late today.”

“Oh please,” Snape said sarcastically. “Do tell me more.”

“He looked very worn-down. Sickly and skeletal. And his hair was long and matted.” She frowned. “Poor thing died in tattered rags. I guess we don’t get to choose how we look when we die, though.”

“How interesting,” he sighed, sounding far from interested.

“It’s cool that Hogwarts allows them to work still. Kind of concerning that you’d  _ want _ to work after you die, but to each their own I suppose. All I know is I wouldn’t be first in line to be a janitor.”

Snape’s sharpened gaze bore down on her. “Janitor?”

“Yeah, recently deceased too.” She hugged her journal to her chest. “More opaque than the other ghosts I’ve talked to, but a nice fellow. Said he was looking for the Weasley boy’s rat. Oh! That reminds me. If you happen to see-.” She stopped mid-sentence at the sight of Snape’s hardened face. “What?”

He gave her a strange look. “Say that again.”

“...The new custodial ghost? He was looking for a rat.”

He sighed deeply, nursing his nose between the pads of his fingers. “Jane.”

“Yes?”

“How could a ghost be a janitor when they can’t pick up physical objects?”

She swallowed weakly. “Oh.”

“Did he say anything else?”

Before she could answer, a commotion from the moving staircases stole their attention. Noise erupted into the hall, and a wave of students and professors flooded past them.

“What is the meaning of this,” Snape spat, storming down the middle of the crowd. Jane followed closely behind, not wishing to get lost in the sea of fleeing students. Up ahead, the unmistakable presence of the headmaster stuck out like a beacon of light.

“Severus, would you mind securing the dungeons?” The old wizard spoke in a calm voice, though the surrounding professors showed an air of mutual panic. “And join me in our usual spot when you are finished. I’m afraid tonight’s festivities must be cancelled.”

“What’s happened?” Snape’s thin eyes darted around wildly, trying to piece together the story himself.

“There’s been an attack on the Gryffindor painting. The Fat Lady has been removed from the wall for repairs. I believe Sirius Black may be among us tonight.”

Snape scowled. “I’ll secure the Slytherins.” As he turned, he gestured for Jane to follow. Once out of earshot, he tugged her into an empty room.

“Tell me everything you know about this so-called ghost.”

Jane’s fingers tapped anxiously against the journal cover. “Long, dark hair. Sunken eyes. Dark facial hair, very thin…” She struggled to conjure a picture of his in her mind.

“Name,” he snapped. “Did he give you a name?”

“He asked if I recognized him, and I said no. H-he said his name was O… O’ryan?” She cursed, shaking her head. “No, it was Orion. He said it was Orion.”

Snape’s hands tugged at his hair. “That arrogant bastard. Son of a-.”

“You know him?” Jane began to feel uneasy.

“It’s just like him to say that. Like he’s taunting us all.” He growled, throwing the door open. “You said you didn’t recognize him. I believe you spoke to Sirius Black. Sirius  _ Orion _ Black.”

Jane paled. “I-I didn’t know it was him.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He tugged her back into the hallway. “Go to your room. Lock yourself in. Don’t stop to speak with anyone, and don’t come out until I visit you later. I have to deal with this.”

With that, Snape stormed off, leaving a horrified Jane behind.

* * *

“This is unacceptable!”

Deep within the bowels of the castle, a handful of professors sat around a long table. At the head sat Dumbledore; to his left, Severus Snape. Among the group were, of course, the heads of all the houses, Filch, and a handful of professors. The headmaster had called an emergency meeting after the night’s events. Severus recalled Jane’s encounter with Black, explaining her whereabouts and clearing her innocence. The story was not well-received.

“How ignorant do you have to be to mistake a  _ person _ for a  _ ghost _ ?” Professor Binns--resident ghost professor-- barked. “I knew from the first conversation I had with that girl that she was unnervingly dim.”

“She has a kind heart,” added Professor Flitwick, “but her knowledge of the wizarding world is...concerning, to say the least. How does one, muggle or not, not recognize Sirius Black? They ran his photo through the muggle media, yes?”

“I can assure you all that Sirius Black is a well known figure in both worlds.” Dumbledore folded his hands on the table. “The question is, how did he get inside the castle?”

“The girl probably let him in,” hissed Binns. “I’m appalled at her lack of intelligence. To walk by a wanted criminal, to have a  _ conversation _ with him, shows stupidity beyond measure!”

“That’s quite enough, Cuthbert.” Dumbledore lifted his hand gently to calm the man. “I understand your frustrations, but we mustn’t let anger and insults take priority. There was a break-in today. I’m sure Professor Adeline is thinking over today’s events with care.” He smiled warmly. “Perhaps you could educate her on the properties and distinctions of ghosts? I’m sure that could serve as a wonderful bonding experience.”

Binns grunted bitterly, but left his argument there.

“I don’t believe she’s stupid.”

All heads turned to face the speaker. Remus Lupin sat with a slight slouch. “We’ve had many conversations. Stupid is not a word that I would use to describe her.” He clicked his tongue. “Naive? Yes. But do keep in mind, this is not her world. She is seeing this all for the first time.”

“I agree,” chimed in Snape, to everyone’s surprise. “Let us not forget that she is our Muggle Studies Professor. That position requires a great deal of intelligence. But I do find it very unnerving that her knowledge of our world is almost nonexistent. Why is it that she was brought here with limited understanding of magic?”

Dumbledore hummed. “I felt it necessary to hold off on select information in the beginning. This is a muggle being brought into the wizarding world. Giving her too much information at once could potentially overwhelm her.” He sighed. “But recent events have shown that better preparation could have prevented danger. I will see to it that she receives an explanation about Sirius Black tomorrow.”

Professor McGonagall lowered her glasses. “I assume she will be keeping her position here at Hogwarts then?”

“Most definitely.” The headmaster nodded. “I do believe that this was an honest slip-up on her end. If the story that Severus has told us is truthful, Sirius Black was already in the castle when they met. I don’t think she let him in, nor do I think she would even know how to.”

“Perhaps she should be assigned a guide,” proposed McGonagall. “Someone to introduce her to magic? I couldn’t imagine getting thrown into a new world without someone who knows the ropes.”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Minerva. But I would like to extend that invitation out to all of you.” He paused, looking around the table. “Talk with her. Get to know her. If she asks questions, answer them. Think of it as an orientation.”

There were a few reluctant groans, but the majority of the group seemed to accept this responsibility. 

“With that settled, you may head back to your rooms. I apologize for keeping you all up at this hour.”


	11. A Game of Quidditch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the blunder on Halloween, gossip spreads like wildfire throughout the school. During the first quidditch game of the season, Jane receives a history lesson.

News of the break in spread fast. Whispers of the intruder could be heard traveling through the halls; how did he do it? How did he get away? What was he looking for? Security tightened noticeably throughout the following days. Loitering was cracked down upon during the day, and especially after nightfall. Students who had to leave class had to do so in pairs, as to not leave any student wandering alone. Professors talked amongst one another in hushed voices, speculating their own theories and guesses about how the Azkaban escapee got into the castle. The shared feeling throughout the school was tense.

Jane took it upon herself to stay in her classroom in her free time. Her students noticed a shift in her behavior during lessons. The once cheerful and energetic professor now taught with a lack of confidence and excitement. She no longer stood outside of the room to greet her students every morning, and her appearances at meals were rare. Even her physical appearance was unusually muted. Her eyes--once bright and full of curiosity--were dull and dark, likely from stress or a lack of sleep. She was more unsure of herself, both in the way she acted and the way she spoke. At the near mention of Sirius Black, she would grow increasingly fidgety and change the subject.

She spent her free time thinking over their encounter. Hours upon hours were spent stressing over every little detail. Beating herself up over not recognizing a highly-wanted criminal. Putting everyone in danger. She could feel the stares of her colleagues whenever she came out of her room. Some made their dislike more obvious than others, but Jane knew how to read a room. Right now, she was not welcome. It was best to stay out of their way.

Remus ate his meals alone in the Great Hall. The chair beside him remained empty for days. He hadn’t spoken to Jane since his lesson on Halloween, before the incident. Part of him felt guilty for not reaching out, but he knew that he also played a part in this mess. She asked him about Sirius in the library, and he gave her nothing to work with. Maybe if he’d answered her questions, she would have been able to recognize him. But talking about Sirius would stir up conversations that Remus wasn’t quite ready to have. It was years ago, but the pain still stung as if it were yesterday.

Thankfully, the first quidditch match of the year was coming up, forcing everyone to focus on the excitement that followed instead. There were rumors that the highly-anticipated match would be postponed due to the break in, but to everyone’s relief, Dumbledore waved the notion. It seemed that this was the perfect distraction that everyone needed.

As Remus was preparing to head to the library, he heard a soft knock at his door. He looked down over the stone ledge and saw Jane hovering by the lightswitch. She jerked her hand up and waved quickly, eyes anxiously darting to the floor. This was not the greeting Remus was used to.

“Hello,” he called out, stepping down the stairs. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Yeah,” she replied, uncharacteristically quiet. “It’s been a while.”

He met her in the doorway, waiting for her to say something else. She said nothing, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“So,” he tried again, “what have you been up to?”

“Oh, nothing much.” She rocked on her feet. “I’ve just been keeping to myself. Getting some reading done.”

“Reading? Anything interesting?”

“Nothing fancy.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

Remus scratched at the back of his neck. “I haven’t seen you in the Great Hall lately. Have you been having lunch with Sybill again?”

“I’ve been sending my meals to my room.” Jane still would not face him. Remus grew worried.

“Well you’re more than welcome to join me any time.”

“Thanks.” She spared him a small grin, but her eyes betrayed her. 

“Jane,” Remus hesitated. “Are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” she said quietly, in a tone that suggested that she was not, in fact, okay. Remus knew better than to press on.

“Actually,” she said, a little more life to her tone, “I came down to see if you were going to the quidditch match today. I’ve never been to one, and I thought if you were free…” She trailed off, blinking up at him. 

“I would love to, but unfortunately I have other plans today.” Remus was surprised by the disappointment in his voice. Quidditch was never his thing. He only attended games when James and Sirius played, and even then, he sat in the bleachers with his nose buried in a book. “A student of mine is falling behind. I was actually on my way to the library to help him study.”

“I’ll take a raincheck, then?” She tilted her head, short hair flopping over her face.

“Absolutely.” He brushed his hand over the light switch. “I expect to hear all about it when you come back.”

Jane began to leave, but looked over her shoulder before turning the corner.

“Every last detail!”

* * *

The forecast called for on and off showers, but as Jane climbed the bleachers, the sun shined down from a mostly cloudless sky. This unfortunately did nothing to help the frigid cold that bit at her skin. She supposed this was part of the thrill of quidditch.

A hand clamped down on her shoulder, stopping her mid-step. Dumbledore beamed at her, gesturing to the row of bleachers next to them.

“Ah, Professor Adeline. How wonderful to see you out and about once more!”

“Good afternoon, sir.” She followed his directions and stepped out of the aisle.

“I do hope you’ll join me today. A word, if you don’t mind?”

She sat down beside him, pulling her coat around her body. The altitude certainly played a part in the chilly temperature.

“Isn’t this lovely, Albus?” Professor McGonagall joined the row in front of them. “This weather calls for positively perfect playing conditions! This will be a great match.”

“No doubt we will be thoroughly entertained,” he replied, folding his hands together. “Minerva, I’ve invited Professor Adeline to spectate with us this afternoon. I believe you’ve been introduced before?”

The older witch smiled at Jane and offered her a hand. “Minerva McGonagall. Charmed to meet you, dear.”

“Jane.” She accepted the woman’s handshake. “It’s very nice to meet you, too.”

“I’m willing to bet this is your first quidditch game, yes?”

“You’d be correct.” A puff of air escaped from between her lips. “I’m excited to see what’s in store for me.”

“Minerva is head of Gryffindor.” Dumbledore’s eyes creased. “She’s quite a quidditch fanatic.”

McGonagall chuckled. “I think you’ll find that all of the house heads share a particular proclivity for quidditch.”

“Is Gryffindor playing today?” Jane scanned the field, looking for the house colors. 

She shook her head. “Today’s match is Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Though if you really want to see skilled athleticism, you must attend a Gryffindor match. That Potter boy is a natural seeker.”

“I trust that Professor Lupin has mentioned him before,” interrupted Dumbledore. “Has he?”

“Possibly?” She thought back to their past conversations. “Yes. He’s in one of his defense classes. Black hair and glasses?”

Dumbledore nodded. “He is part of the reason why I wished to speak with you today.”

He was interrupted by the sound of blaring horns and cheering. One by one, players began to run out onto the field. Minerva quickly turned her attention to the game, clapping excitedly. The players shook hands and retreated back to their respective sides of the arena. A whistle was blown, the players mounted their broomsticks, and within seconds they shot into the air.

Jane chuckled. “You were saying, sir?”

“Yes, of course.” He placed his finger to his chin. “I suppose I should start with the more pressing issue. Now, I don’t need to tell you that Sirius Black was spotted in the castle this week.”

The color drained from Jane’s face. She quickly looked down at her feet.

“Severus informed me about your encounter with him. I suspect that is why you’ve been keeping to yourself?”

She nodded grimly. “Yes sir. I apologize. I put everyone in danger.”

“It’s not your fault.” He patted the back of her hand. “If what Severus said is true, Black had already breached the castle before you spoke with him. You played no part in his break in.”

She frowned. “Still… if I would have recognized him, or known who he was. Things could have been different.”

“Perhaps.” The crowd cheered suddenly, surrounding them in a deafening roar. “But still, you should not feel any guilt over this. I admit, it is my fault for keeping you in the dark about the history of Sirius Black. And our world of magic as a whole.”

“I understand why, though.”

He nodded. “I knew you would. But I feel it is my duty now to tell you a story. One that is long overdue.”

Jane noticed how tense his face became. She waited for him to continue.

“The wizarding world that you see before you may seem wonderful. But many years ago, there was a great darkness among us.” He lowered his voice. “Tell me, dear. Have you heard of the name Voldemort?”

“No,” she said honestly.

“He was a dark wizard. A very powerful man with very twisted ideas about the world. He believed in the supremacy of pure blood wizards, or wizards with no muggle blood. People like him fought a war against us. We call his followers Death Eaters. Watch your head.”

A stray bludger came hurdling in their direction. Jane ducked just in time.

“One day, a young couple and their child were attacked by Lord Voldemort. They had been double crossed by a spy on our side. Can you guess who that spy might be?”

Jane scowled. “It was Sirius Black, wasn’t it?”

“Precisely. Sirius Black was thought to be a close confidant of this couple. But he revealed their location to Voldemort, and they were killed.”

Jane gasped. “That’s awful!”

“Indeed it was. But before Voldemort could kill the child, his mother--Lily--jumped in front of the killing curse, sacrificing her life for her child. The child you know as Harry Potter.”

The jarring voice of Lee Jordan interrupted them, announcing a penalty on Slytherin’s side. A mixture of cheers and boos filled the air.

“Something else happened that night,” Dumbledore continued. “When Lily Potter sacrificed herself, the curse rebounded. It struck Voldemort, killing him.”

Jane listened to every word of the story with wide eyes. “What happened to Sirius Black?”

“After it was revealed that Black betrayed the Potters, he fled. A man named Peter Pettigrew found him on a busy street. Pettigrew and Black were also close friends, though certainly not as close as the Potters were. Black then decided to fire a curse at him, blowing him up where he stood. He was captured and sent to Azkaban for life, along with several other high-profile Death Eaters.”

“Oh.” She gulped. “How could someone do something like that? Especially to a close friend?”

“Lord Voldemort was a powerful wizard,” he explained. “I believe most people who followed him did so out of fear. To get on his bad side was almost certain death. This is why wizards of today do not so much as utter his name. He is commonly referred to as You-Know-Who.” He winked. “I would advise you to only refer to him under that name from now on. It is not a name that receives kind looks.”

“Understood.”

Just then, a sliver of gold flitted by. A collection of gasps traveled through the professor’s spectators stand.

“What was that?” Jane followed the direction of the little gold ball, but just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished.

“That’s the snitch.” McGonagall turned back around as the topic of quidditch resurfaced. “There are two seekers in each game, with one on each team. Their job is to catch the snitch. Whoever catches it wins the game.”

In perfect timing, a seeker dressed in yellow swooped over their heads. Not to be outdone, a flash of green followed close behind.

“How do you even spot that from that far up?”

“A trained eye,” McGonagall explained. “And swift reflexes.”

Jane followed the two seekers with her eyes. She was afraid to blink, fearing she’d miss the action unfolding in front of her. She let the energy of the game consume her, putting the hellish week behind her (if only for a little while).


	12. The Autumn Social

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night of the Autumn Social. Remus expresses his distaste for school dances, while others begin to notice patterns of behavior between certain professors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay. Admittedly, this chapter is really long, and not at all necessary or accurate to the original story, but you know what? I like it. So it stays. Have your cake and eat it too.

Dances. Balls. Formals. Remus despised them all. He would never have attended them in his youth had it not been for his passionately stubborn friend group. Even then, most of his entertainment at those events came from the pure enjoyment of watching James follow after Lily like a lost puppy (after multiple rejections). Over the years, Hogwarts cut back on the amount of social events hosted, dropping from a handful to once a year to once every four years. All that remained now was the Yule Ball, and Remus didn’t have to worry about that one for another year.

So when it was announced that there would be a school dance in mid-November to make up for the lack of Halloween festivities, he wasn’t exactly pleased.

He grew to accept the idea once he saw how much the students cared for it. The days leading up to the dance were quite amusing to witness. Boys worked up the nerve to ask the girls to go, girls worked up the nerve to ask the boys to go, and a few times (to Remus’s private contentment) two girls would group up, or two boys. It was very endearing to witness. As long as he didn’t have to attend and relive his childhood moments, Remus supposed a dance wasn’t the worst thing in the world. It would serve as a nice distraction for the kids.

He thought it would be good for Professor Adeline as well. Over the past few weeks, she had returned to her normal chipper self, but it was obvious that the Sirius situation was still tugging at her mind. She seemed happier now, gossiping to him about which student asked this student to the dance and who she predicted might go with this other student, and who would wear what. It was all a mix-match of confusion to him, but if it meant she was talking to him again, he was willing to lend an ear.

There was a brief faculty meeting where they all discussed their roles for the night of the dance. While there were no specific rules per say, they were still professors in a professional setting. It was just a semi-formal, and there would be professors monitoring the halls and the dance floor. Dumbledore ended the meeting with a wink, encouraging everyone to “enjoy themselves and have a nice evening.”

The hallways were filled with excited chatter as the doors to the Great Hall opened up. The long dining tables were removed, opening the floor up. Smaller tables were littered around the perimeter, and the floating candles that hovered above were replaced with twinkling gold lights and falling leaves to fit the autumn mood. The leaves disintegrated as they fell, keeping the floor clear to avoid a walking hazard. Students of all ages flooded into the room wearing an array of dress shirts and colorful dresses; some with dates, some with friends. Dumbledore stood at his podium, watching the crowd of smiling faces. He waved his hand to silence them.

“Good evening. I’m so happy that we could all come together for a night of fun.” He paused for the applause that dominated the room. “Though this is far from a Halloween feast, I hope that tonight leaves you with treasured memories that hopefully excuse the lack of October festivities. I know these have been uncertain times, but tonight, I’d like each and every one of you to forget that. Have fun, and let the festivities begin.”

He lifted his wand and flicked it sharply. Music began to play, and the crowd congregated into the center of the room to dance. The teachers loitered around the edge, some dancing, but most performing the duties of a chaperone.

Remus fixed his worn suit jacket and scanned the room, searching for the familiar face of his new found friend. He hadn’t seen her come in, and he knew she’d be bursting with excitement to chat about her students. It appeared, however, that she hadn’t arrived yet. He socialized with his coworkers, making lighthearted conversation in the meantime. Many of his old professors had long since retired, but he knew a few people that still held their position. He turned his attention to Professor Flitwick, who waved him down in the corner.

From across the room, the doors creaked open. Jane had arrived a bit later than expected, having struggled to get her hair to lay down right. But now she was here, and as she looked around the room, she instantly felt singled out.

Most of the staff watched her walk by, and a few students whispered with their friends. She blushed, stepping to the sidelines to blend in with the other professors. A task that proved to be impossible, seeing as though she didn’t exactly blend in.

Nobody had informed her that most of the professors were going to wear darker attire. Maybe she should have seen that coming, considering their day to day wardrobes consisted of the same dark colors, but she stuck out like a sore thumb. She looked down at her sunshine yellow dress with slight discomfort. Definitely not like the others. So much for keeping a low profile.

Jane’s confidence began to slowly deflate. When would she start to fit in with everyone else?

Meanwhile, Remus was making his rounds around the room, on a mission to find her. He located Hagrid easily, and decided to wave him down. The giant man beamed when he saw him.

“‘Allow, Lupin!” Hagrid boomed, giving the man a pat on the back. Remus stumbled forward, not expecting the strength behind the gesture. “Great to see yuh. How’ve yuh been?”

“I’ve been settling in nicely. This year’s class seems very promising. A lot of bright young witches and wizards.” Remus had to raise his voice to be heard over the crowd. “I was wondering if you’ve seen Jane tonight?”

“Oi!” Hagrid laughed heartily. “I’ve definitely seen ‘er. Just come in a little while ago. Pretty little thing, ain’t she?”

“I guess so,” Remus said, looking around. “Where did you see her last?”

“Ran into ‘er near the entrance. Her an’ Sybill hopped into the crowd tuh dance, I think. I’d try lookin’ over there.” He pointed to where he last saw her. Remus followed his gaze, nodding when he saw where he was pointing.

“Thank you!”

Jane had barely even made it to the middle of the room yet. When one dance ended, another was offered to her by a different suitor, and she had never been all that good at saying no. She also wasn’t exactly in the position to turn her coworkers away, seeing as though half of them held her with distaste after the other night’s events. She would gladly take all the friends she could get, and maybe win some of the others over while she was at it.

She met a few new people. Professor Sprout seemed like a lovely old lady, and they definitely shared a special bond over gardening. Madam Sinistra was mysterious, but also good-intentioned. She suspected she’d be good friends with Sybill, if the divination professor would actually venture out of her tower now and then. Jane never visited the astronomy tower, and honestly didn’t even know Hogwarts had one. Three months into her position and she still learned something new every day.

The song changed, people filtered on and off the dance floor, and Remus was still on a mission. The lights above turned to a deep red color, making matters even more difficult. He was starting to suspect that they were walking on opposite sides of a circle. Surely he would’ve run into her by now.

“Reckon he’s looking for her?” A voice asked from somewhere behind him.

“Oh, give it a rest,  _ Ronald _ .”

It was the same voices from the train, the voices that Remus now knew to belong to Harry’s best friends.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? I mean, they’re always together.”

“It’s none of your business, Ron.”

“Shove it Hermione. If I were him, I’d be doing the same thing.”

“ _ Ronald! _ ”

“Come on. Have you  _ seen _ her?”

Remus tried to swallow a laugh as he hunted down the voices. Ron’s freckled face burned pink, even more pronounced under the red lighting.

“Professor Lupin!” Harry grinned, subtly stomping on Ron’s foot. Ron squeaked, stepping back.

“Hello, Harry.” Remus tried with all his might not to lose his composure. The look of panic on both Hermione and Ron’s faces threatened to crack him. “Having a nice night, I hope?”

“Yes, sir.”

Lupin meant to say something else, but a flash of yellow pulled his attention away from the trio. “Er, I’ll leave you to it, then. I’ll see you three in class tomorrow.”

Remus wormed his way through the crowd, waving to those who called out around him. The yellow flickered in and out of his vision between the jumble of legs and bodies, but he tracked it down the best he could. Sure enough, it was Jane, twirling around with Professor Flitwick. He stopped in his tracks, mind faltering as he saw her for the first time that night. Jane was a pretty girl on any given day, but tonight, she looked exceptionally nice.

The song ended, the two parted ways, and she seemed to be heading in his direction.  _ Perfect _ , he thought, straightening his jacket again.

But before he could get her attention, a bony hand wrapped around his wrist. He exhaled sharply, turning to see who it was. Professor McGonagall laughed.

“Remus Lupin,” she said, shaking her head. “You’ve been here for nearly three months now, and you haven’t said so much as a hello to me.”

“Professor McGonagall,” he grinned. “You don’t look a day over 50.”

“I’m no longer your professor, Remus. You don’t need to flatter me.” She swatted his shoulder jokingly. “Oh, just look at you. All grown up. It feels like yesterday that you and your friends were goofing off in the back of my class.”

Remus chuckled. “To be fair, I always tried to listen. It’s hard to focus when you have two boneheads chewing your ears off at any given time.”

“They would have loved this, wouldn’t they?”

Her smile faltered, and Remus placed a comforting hand on her frail shoulder. 

“I’d like to think that they would.”

The lights shifted again in time with the music, this time a burnt orange. Remus glanced over at Jane. Something sank in him when he watched her run up to Severus Snape.

“How about a dance,” teased McGonagall. “For old time’s sake?”

He stole another glance at his friend. Jane was tugging on the potions professor’s arm, saying something to him that made him roll his eyes. He must have given in, because Jane jumped excitedly and tugged on both of his arms, teasing him in. Ignoring the gawks of students around him, he let her lead him onto the dance floor. Defeated, Remus let the older woman do the same.

As they settled into a comfortable rhythm, they continued to talk about older times, reminiscing about their past. All of the pranks James pulled. All of the times the group had gotten into trouble.

“I see Potter’s legacy has stayed alive,” McGonagall joked, nodding her head towards Harry. The boy laughed, surrounded by his friends. “Try as he might, that boy cannot stay out of trouble.”

“Just like James,” he said, giving a thin-lipped smile. His eyes wandered beyond the boy and his friends, back to Jane. She was laughing at something Snape said. He looked wildly uncomfortable but Jane wouldn’t let up, shimmying her shoulders and pulling his arms to force him to dance. He watched the two, wondering what on Earth they were talking about.

“Alright, I must know. Who is it?”

Remus snapped his attention back to his old professor.

“Pardon?”

“Someone has your attention, and it certainly couldn’t be me.” She squinted as she followed his gaze. When her eyes landed on his target, she grinned knowingly.

“What?”

“Oh, I should have known, with you two getting along the way you do.”

He shook his head. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, hush,” she teased. “I know that look when I see it. Miss Adeline is quite a pretty young woman, isn’t she?”

“Really,” he insisted, “we’re just friends.”

“Well I think she’s a great choice for you,” she continued on, ignoring his protests. “She has a very kind soul. She’s certainly turned a few heads tonight. I’ve heard everyone’s asked her to dance. Not that you should let that discourage you.” She tapped the side of his face, much like a mother would do to her son. “You’ve grown into such a handsome young man. She’d be crazy not to see it too.”

“McGonagall…” he groaned, face heating up. The old lady chuckled.

“All I’m saying, Remus, is that you can allow yourself to welcome in new things.” She stared at him as though she were reading an open book. “You deserve to be surrounded by nice people, and you deserve to find someone that will make you happy. Despite what you may think you deserve.”

The song came to an end, and the two separated. 

“Remember Remus, my door is always open.” She held onto his hand and patted it gently. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Always a pleasure, McGonagall.”

As she walked away, Remus spun around to finally speak with Jane. To his frustration, she had already disappeared again.Over the new music blasting from the speakers, he heard somebody whistle from the crowd. Harry was trying to get his attention.

“She went that way, sir.” He pointed in the direction of the refreshments table. Ron bore a shit-eating grin behind him. 

Remus shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away. Sure enough, he saw her standing alone near the desserts. When he grew nearer she turned around, arms folded and the corners of her mouth tugged into a sly grin.

“I thought I’d find you here.” She picked up a square of chocolate from the table and held it out. “Eventually.”

He took the square from her hand, finally getting to see her up close for the first time that night. McGonagall’s comment about her stealing the eyes of the professors clicked into place. Her dress was beautiful, and she’d done something different to her hair. 

“You look very classy tonight,” he observed. “Very old-Hollywood.”

“I’m glad to see you,” she confessed. “You have no idea how many times I’ve been asked to dance tonight. I’m all out of sorts. I need familiarity.”

“You could have said no,” he pointed out. This earned a playful elbow to his ribcage.

“You know I can’t do that. Plus, they were all very generous, offering their guidance and telling me to visit them if I had any questions about their work. And I appreciate it, I really do, but it’s all so…” she gestured wildly with her hands, “overwhelming. I need to take things slow.”

Remus thought about bringing up the meeting from the other night, but decided against it. She was happy tonight, and talking about the break in would put a damper on the mood. Not to mention the added anxiety. She wasn’t even aware that there was a meeting about her.

“It… probably didn’t help that I arrived late. I know some of these people don’t care for me, but god, you should have been in my shoes. Everyone’s eyes on me, judging me. It was painfully awkward. And then I apparently missed the “secret professor dress code” and came to this thing looking like a ripe lemon. I accepted any positive interaction that came my way after that.”

Remus stared at her, confused. Then, he began to laugh.

“What?”

“Jane, have you considered that the reason you’re drawing attention tonight is because you  _ look good _ ?”

She blinked, face going blank. “But I thought-.”

“No,” he said, an amused tone to his voice. “You’re a new, younger professor who looks nice at a social gathering in a school that’s predominantly filled with male colleagues. You’re going to be asked to dance.”

“...Oh.”

Their eyes met, and the two of them cracked up. She covered her mouth, embarrassed that she spent the whole night feeling like an outcast.

“And this whole time, I thought they were pitying me or something.” Her laughter died down, though she continued to grin like an idiot. “Oh, wow. Not my brightest moment.”

“Definitely not, no.”

She gasped, feigning fake-offence. Remus fought off another snicker. A slower song began to play, tinting the lights a pale yellow. Remus polished off his chocolate square.

“I’m sure you’ve had enough dancing for one night, but if you have one more in you, the offer stands.”

She took his hand and nodded excitedly.

“I’ve been searching for you all night. Quite frankly, I’d be offended if we didn’t.”

He brought her into the sea of young couples, ignoring the whispers and looks from students. Maybe a slow song wasn’t the best song to dance to when trying to squash romantic rumors, but Remus spent too much time hunting her down to care about the tempo of a song.

“No doubt, students will be talking about this tomorrow. Us.”

Jane smirked. “So I see you’ve heard the rumors too.”

“Controversy thrives in the hands of adolescents.” He wriggled his eyebrows, earning a giggle from Jane. “As it turns out, we’re a hot topic.”

“Wait until word gets around that I danced with Severus Snape. Imagine the scandals.” She plastered her hand to her forehead and pretended to swoon. “The paparazzi will have a field day. I’m ruined.”

Remus laughed. “You’ll have to move towns. Change your name.”

“It’s hard being famous.” She shook her head. “But it’s the price I have to pay.”

“So. I know you’ve been dying to tell me.” He looked down at her. “Did your students couple up with who you thought they would?”

Her face lit up, and Remus knew he surrendered his speaking privileges for the next few minutes. 

“Oh, Remus. It was adorable! There were these two first years that I saw, the shy type, you know, and they…”

As she rambled on about all of the students, he saw Harry and his friends watching them from the sidelines. Ron raised his eyebrows and mouthed “told you so,” while Harry smiled shyly. Hermione thwacked Ron on the back of his head, and Ron began to crack up. Remus rolled his eyes and pressed his finger to his lips, shaking his head.

“...and this girl I have in my class, Charity, she was so nervous about coming, but she looked so gorgeous when I saw her tonight.”

He returned to his friend, who had just finished gushing over her students.

“I didn’t think becoming a teacher would make me feel like a proud mom.” She chuckled to herself. “Yet, here we are.”

“The kids adore you,” he assured her. “I hear them talking between classes.”

Her face softened. “I was worried for a while. I didn’t think they’d respect me, because I’m not a witch.”

“You’ve won us all over. Trust me, you’re fitting in perfectly.”

At the end of the song, Jane stepped away from the crowd.

“I’d love to stay and talk, but if I don’t actually do some chaperoning, people will talk.” She gestured to the line of professors glued to the sidelines. “I do have to at least pretend like I work here. They might catch on to me.”

“Well we can’t have that, now can we?” He waved her off. “I’ll leave you to it.”


	13. The Secret of the Lycanthrope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus grows suspicious of Snape's friendship with Professor Adeline. When secrets are revealed, how will all parties react?

The end of November was right around the corner, and Remus still couldn’t wrap his head around the friendship between Jane and Severus.

It bewildered him that she was so quick to take a liking to the potions professor. Even more so, it confused him how Severus was so quick to take a liking to her. Sure, they exchanged a few words at the feast, and he saw them chatting once in a while, but Snape was Snape, and Jane was… well…

...not Snape.

He wasn’t upset about it. His friends made Severus’s childhood a living hell on more than one occasion, and he did nothing to stop their antics. He wanted Severus to be happy, if not out of the goodness of his heart then to appease the guilt he felt from his school days. And Jane was a nice girl. In theory, it made sense. But the idea of Severus Snape having a friend was… a foreign one, to put it lightly.

He figured they might be more than acquaintances at the dance, when he saw them together. Then again, she was seen with several professors throughout the night, some of which she’d never spoken to before. But it was out of character for a man like Severus. He also harbored strong anti-muggle views, or at least used to. Jane was a full muggle. It simply didn’t add up.

Soon, he began to notice her visits to the dungeons, which became routine.

Additionally, he started to notice Jane concentrating on him from time to time. She carried a leather-bound book with her, which she wrote in when she thought he wasn’t looking. Normally, he wouldn’t focus on something like that, but when you threw Snape into the equation… needless to say, it put him on edge. 

He didn’t think that Jane would do anything malicious. But he wondered if Snape had said anything to her. He was sworn under oath by Dumbledore, but Snape was as smart as he was cunning, so he couldn’t rule out the possibility. The darker part of his paranoia toyed with the idea that Snape was using her to spy on him. Why else would she be secretly observing him from afar?

This was a silly thought, but ideas--once brought into existence--can never truly be erased.

Against his better judgement, his curiosity got the best of him. When Jane made her weekly visit to Snape’s office, Lupin trailed behind and listened outside the door.

“Well hello,” he heard her greet him. “What do you have in store for me today?”

“Same as usual, Miss Adeline.”

She sighed.

“I beg your pardon, Jane, but is there something _wrong_?”

“No, of course not.”

“Because I’m beginning to sense some apprehension, and if that is the case, I’m perfectly happy to spend my Tuesday afternoon elsewhere.”

Jane hesitated. “It’s just… we’ve studied them for the past six weeks now. And I’m very grateful for your insight and lessons so far, but I was wondering if we could possibly move on to a different creature?”

“We will move on when you have mastered the subject. Today, we continue.”

“Is six weeks not mastery?”

“Not if you can’t identify what’s right under your nose.”

“What…” She cleared her throat. “What do you mean, right under my nose?”

“If you’ve truly mastered what I’ve taught you thus far, you’d be able to spot one walking among us.” Lupin heard what he assumed to be Snape’s fist come down on his desk. The sound made him jump.

There was a pause in the conversation before Jane spoke again.

“There’s a werewolf at Hogwarts?” Her voice sounded hushed, as if she were repeating a dirty secret.

“They’ve been here before. They’re back again.” Snape paced the floor. “Piece the clues together. Even someone with the simplest of minds could see it.”

Lupin gulped. He wouldn’t dare. He was sworn to secrecy, he-

“Surely you’re not implying that Professor Lupin is a werewolf.”

_Shit._

“Unfortunately, my hands are bound. I cannot say who it is. But I thought it was only fair that you have the right to know. Unlike some, I don’t enjoy _lying_ to friends.”

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

“You’re having a go at me, aren’t you. I mean, come on.”

“And what would I gain from that?”

“I don’t know!” More footsteps. “I mean, yeah, he keeps to himself a lot, but he just gets sick sometimes.”

“Sick once a month around the time of the full moon? Seems a bit suspicious.”

“...You’re serious. You’re not joking. Oh my god.”

Lupin’s stomach dropped. The only friend he had made in years now knew the truth about him. And he wasn’t even the one who got to tell her.

Before he was discovered, he quickly walked away from the door; ashamed, humiliated, but above all, hurt.

* * *

Jane gave her colleague a stern look. “Severus, while I do appreciate you looking out for me, I’d rather hear this from him.” She looked away from him. “I mean, this is a huge accusation. Remus is my friend.”

“You know very little about that man,” growled Snape. “He isn’t as innocent as he appears. He and his friends are cowardice, power-hungry fools. They’d harass anyone who didn’t fit their personal criteria.”

“I’m not sure what happened between you two in the past, but Remus is not a fool, and certainly not a coward.” She squinted her eyes at the professor. “Honestly, I’m quite inclined to believe that you’ve just attempted to throw him under the bus, so that I’d what? Hm? Start rumors? Get him fired?”

Severus watched her gather her belongings. This was not what he had planned to happen at all.

“Professor Lupin is my friend, Severus. I thought you were too. Clearly, I was wrong.”

He winced, hearing the disappointment in her voice. She sounded hurt.

“I was only trying to protect you.”

“I don’t think you were.” She froze at the door. “Friends don’t use each other as pawns. And they don’t stand around and listen to others belittle them behind their back. _That_ is what makes a coward.”

She stormed out of the room, leaving behind a stunned and stuttering Snape.

Lupin watched from behind a pillar as Jane left the castle in a fit of rage. He closed his eyes and pressed his head against the cool marble. His short-lived friendship was over. He winced as he recalled the look on her face as she passed by. Disgusted. Angry. Betrayed.

_I made her feel like that._

If only he’d been upfront about things, or he’d told her sooner. Maybe then she wouldn’t hate him.

Anger boiled in his veins. He had tried to fix things with Severus over and over, and he rejected each apology so bitterly. He thought they could at least maintain some sense of professionalism, but clearly, he was still hurt by the actions of his old friends from decades ago.

Then, horror began to sink in once he realized the gravity of the situation. He’d have to pack up and leave. Surely he’d be fired. Or he’d resign. He couldn’t let Dumbledore take the fall for him. He’d be homeless. This job was supposed to keep him out of complete poverty. Without it, where was he to go? His wolfsbane potions would be cut off permanently. He’d have to face the terror of surrendering himself fully to his condition. There was no way he could afford to buy his own supply.

Feeling uneasy, he retreated to his office and locked the door behind him. He had a lot to sort out.

* * *

Jane decided to take her frustrations out on Hagrid’s garden. Weeds were yanked out of the frozen ground with more force than probably necessary. Her hands bled from where a few of the sharper ones sliced her, but she barely noticed. All she wanted to do was work and get her mind off of things for a while.

This proved to be quite difficult. Her mind was quick to wander.

Lupin; calm, resourceful, kind Lupin. He couldn’t be a werewolf. Sure, he was quite a loner. He kept to himself, but he didn’t avoid people entirely. He could be social when he wanted to be. He was generally well-liked by most of the school. It was obvious that even Dumbledore harbored a soft spot for him.

She never asked about his scars out of respect, but they were definitely something to consider. She noticed new cuts and scrapes that would occasionally appear here and there, but nothing that she’d ever given much thought towards. If he wasn’t willing to talk about them, she wouldn’t ask.

But what she was really stuck on was his absences. She knew he missed quite a few already; she heard students talking about his habit of missing classes every month. He would always avoid their questions of concern, instead directing the conversation elsewhere. He could simply be fighting some sort of chronic illness. There had to be a logical explanation.

She tossed another pile of weeds into her bucket, huffing in anger as she thought about Snape. Why would he even tell her such a thing? Even if it was true--which was none of her business--it wasn’t his news to deliver. He had gone out of his way to out his old classmate, and he had taken pleasure in doing so. Not only was it extremely disrespectful, but it could be a threat to his career, even if it was just a rumor.

She thought the gloomy professor was misunderstood. Now she knew the truth. He was a cold, bitter man. And to think she had gone to him to learn more about the wizarding world. She should have listened to the student’s rumors and trusted someone else with that task.

When the weeds were all pulled, she had calmed down significantly. She wanted to talk with Lupin, but decided to wait. It would be better if he talked to her first. If she asked him about what she’d heard, she would undoubtedly sound confrontational. That was the last thing she wanted. He would tell her (if there was anything to tell) when he was comfortable.

* * *

The following days felt strange.

Professor Lupin avoided Jane like the plague. She tried to approach him several times in the Great Hall and the library, but when he saw her coming his way, he fled the room. He was barely in his classroom, and his office door was constantly locked at all times. She briefly wondered if she had done something to upset him, but couldn’t think of anything.

Professor Snape avoided both Jane and Remus, but this did not come as a surprise to her. She was glad he was keeping his distance after their falling out from the other day. She was disappointed in him above everything else. Distance, as it would seem, would hopefully prove to be good for them in the long run.

Professor Lupin was a nervous wreck.

He managed to mask his newfound anxiety during class flawlessly, but as soon as he found himself alone, his mind got the better of him, He would never stick around in one place for too long, fearful that Jane might find him. It was childish, playing this hiding game. He knew it was. But the thought of seeing her upset again was enough to keep him moving.

Now, as he watched her leave the Great Hall, he realized that this game he was playing could not last forever. Eventually, he would have to face her again, and hear her disgust when she called him out for what he truly was. Right now, though, he was hungry.

He sat down at the table where she was just eating and filled his plate. He was about to dig in when something black caught his attention from the corner of his eye. Jane had left her mysterious black book at the table. The one that she’d write in while staring at him from across the room.

He knew he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.

But he figured their friendship was already ruined, and nothing else could possibly tarnish it further. So he casually reached over and grabbed the book.

The leather cover was worn, as if it had been generously used over a period of time. He flicked his thumb to unbutton the closure on the cover. This was it; his last chance to put the book back and pretend he’d never seen what was inside.

He glanced around the room before opening to the first page.

_Lesson one. October 3rd, Forbidden Forest. Topic: Werewolves._

_*Extremely dangerous_

_*Normally indistinguishable from humans_

_*Signs appear leading up to the full moon_

_*Blood grows hotter (yikes), shift in mood, agitation, physical stress on the body_

Remus stopped reading, flipping the page. He expected to see more notes, but was surprised by what he saw instead. A charcoal drawing of the Ravenclaw Tower took up a two-page spread. Every detail was considered, down to the texture and cracks in the stone. Flipping through the pages of notes, he discovered more sketches and drawings. The dining hall lights, Filch’s red-eyed tabby cat drinking from a puddle, the paintings in the stairwells. There were some faces in the mix as well. He smiled at a drawing of Professor McGonagall, posing proudly with her wand drawn. There was one of Hagrid and his hound, and one of a fully-headless Sir Nicholas, with the severed head beaming happily at him. 

There were also some candid drawings of people and animals from the school. He was particularly fond of a drawing of Dumbledore, who had fallen asleep while reading a book in the library. Another drawing showed a scene from a quidditch match, with students flying on broomsticks. He recognized Hermione Granger’s ginger cat watching a rat climb onto the windowsill. Though it was just a drawing, Remus sensed the fear in the rat’s eyes.

His smile faltered when he skipped to the next drawing. It was of himself.

It wasn’t finished yet. The background was still blank. But it was the spitting image of himself; side-parted hair, shabby robes, thin lips. He was looking off into the distance somewhere. His scars were displayed prominently across his cheek and nose. She even managed to add the tiny scar over his eyebrow, and his stubble. Not a single detail was left out.

“I wasn’t aware that the flu was going around, but I can assure you, I don’t have it.”

Remus gasped, head snapping up to the voice that startled him. Jane stood with her arms crossed. She eyed the book (still obviously open in his hands) and smirked.

“Ah, Jane, hello.” He struggled to find his voice. “What brings you here?”

“I think you’ve already found it for me, actually.” She sat down beside him and gently took the book from him. Remus blushed.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have looked.” He tugged at a hangnail to avoid her gaze. “You’ve got an amazing talent, though.”

“Thanks,” she said softly. When she noticed what page he’d stopped at, she chuckled shyly. “I was going to show this to you when I was done. I imagine you’re probably a bit creeped out by it.”

“No, no.” He shook his head, eyes wide. “It’s amazing. You have a gift.”

She rolled her eyes. “More of a hobby than a gift. But I appreciate it.”

“Is this why you’ve been watching me lately?”

Now it was Jane’s turn to blush.

“That noticeable, huh?”

“Only a tad bit.”

They both laughed, equally embarrassed.

“But I am flattered that you decided to draw me. I’m not exactly the world's best model.”

She jabbed his arm. “Says who?”

“Says anyone with eyes.”

“I don’t know.” She pretended to frame him with her hands. “I could totally see you on the next cover of Vogue.”

He raised a brow at her, but couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped him. The two snickered like children. He missed this; the two of them joking around like friends.

As Jane’s laughter subsided, she closed her book. She looked at him as if she were thinking about something.

“I was supposed to finish your drawing this week, but I couldn’t find you anywhere.”

Remus’s smile vanished.

“Either you’ve suddenly become the world’s busiest man, or you’ve been avoiding me.”

He dodged the accusation by taking a bite of his food. Jane was not so easily distracted.

“Remus, if I’ve said something, or I’ve done something that hurt you, I’m so sor-.”

He coughed, choking on his last bite of food.

“You’ve done nothing wrong. God, no. You have nothing to apologize for.” He set his fork down on the table. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you overthink things. I should have just talked to you in the first place.”

“Talk to me about what?” She placed her hand on his arm. 

“I…” He struggled to find the words to say. This definitely wasn’t the time or place he expected to have this conversation. “Let’s talk somewhere else.”

He led her down to his office, where he was sure they wouldn’t be interrupted. Jane took a seat, while Remus paced the room.

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

He felt his fight-or-flight kick in. Never before had he told someone about his condition. Everyone usually figured it out by themselves and confronted him about it. He genuinely didn’t know how to do this.

“I don’t really know what to say, or rather, where to start.”

Either the air had gotten heavier, or Remus was struggling to breathe. The room spun around him. _Just get it over with_.

“The beginning seems like a great place to start.”

Sometime during his panicked pacing, Jane had stood up and led him to his desk. He blinked out of his nervous stupor when he felt the wood under his hands. He sat down while she dragged her chair around to his side. Some of the tension melted away when he felt her take his hand.

“I have a condition,” he started again, this time a bit calmer. “It was passed onto me when I was very young. I’ve hid it my entire life.”

Her hand remained glued to his.

“The condition… is lycanthropy.”

When she didn’t move away in disgust, he continued on.

“Now this condition, it’s quite like a disease. It can get in the way of life. There are certain limits to things that I can do. Certain dangers and risks.”

He felt sick talking about it. It disgusted him just as much as it disgusted others.

“Every full moon, I transform into a hideous creature. So I have to take certain precautions to make sure I don’t pose a threat to others.”

He looked up at her for the first time since they sat down. Instead of the horrified look he expected, he was met with kind eyes and a sympathetic smile.

“How young were you,” she asked, voice softer than silk, “when it was passed onto you?”

“Five.” He faltered. “I never told anyone. People always figured it out before I got the chance to.”

“ _Five_ ,” she echoed in disbelief.

“That’s why I disappear once in a while. And why I have-.” His free hand felt the scar on his cheek before resting on his lap again.

Jane’s eyes lost a bit of light as she realized why he was telling her this.

“You overheard my lessons with Snape.”

Remus winced. “Yes. Only the last one.”

“...How much of it did you hear?”

“Most of it.”

She squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry that you had to hear that.”

“Afterwards, I saw you run off looking rather angry. I assumed you were mad at me. For not saying something in the first place.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, Remus, of course not! I was pissed at him for trying to turn me against you. Gave him a good telling off about it on my way out, actually.”

He smiled sadly. “I am sorry if I’ve tainted your friendship with him over all of this.”

Jane laughed bitterly. “I’ve seen how he treats others at Hogwarts. If anything, this was just a wake up call for me.”

“Severus had a troubled youth, which my friends and I certainly didn’t make easier for him. I think he could benefit from some kindness in his life.” He hesitated. “Though I do wish I would have intervened during the harassment. It’s one regret that I carry with me constantly.”

“Maybe he’ll come around this year.”

“That’s quite optimistic, Jane. But with all things considered, I don’t have high hopes.” He looked out the window, where the stars faded into view outside. “It’s getting late, though. I don’t wish to hold you here for too long.”

They stood in the doorway, having processed a very heavy conversation.

“I don’t think I need to tell you this, but I would greatly appreciate it if my condition remained a secret. If word got out…”

“Don’t worry. You can trust me.”

“Thank you.”

She stuck her foot in the door before he could close it all the way.

“Remus?”

“Yes?

“If you ever need help with anything; you know, like your condition, or if you want to talk. Don’t hesitate to ask.”

He smiled. “I appreciate that. Truly. Thank you.”

She removed her foot. “Goodnight, Remus.”

“Goodnight, Jane.”


	14. The Holiday: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas at Hogwarts, which means family, presents, and a snag in someone's plans. Will the holidays be as magical as ever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit, I'm not overly fond of Christmas. But I'm a sucker for a cute holiday bonding moment. It's conflict time, baby.

“There are many ways that muggles get from one place to another. A few of these methods may be familiar to you; for example, I’m aware that wizards can enchant cars, though muggle cars can’t fly. Trains, of course, are used by both magic and non-magic folk. When I’m at home, I prefer to bike. Much better for the environment. Public transportation comes in many…”

Professor Adeline huffed, crossing her arms. Her class of fifth years whispered to one another, clearly not paying attention. She cleared her throat.

“As I was saying, public transportation comes in many forms. If you don’t own a car, you might opt for a bus, or a taxi…” She trailed off, noticing that none of her students were facing her. She glanced over at the window and watched the soft snowfall stick to the glass panes. 

“You know what?” She placed her palms on her desk and smirked. “I don’t think we’ll be getting any learning done today. You can chat amongst yourselves  _ quietly-- _ Aubrette, I’m looking at you--and I do mean  _ quietly _ . I’d quite like to keep my job, if you don’t mind.”

It was virtually impossible for Jane to keep her classes focused throughout the day. It was the day before the winter break--er,  _ holiday _ , she corrected herself--and the students were buzzing with excitement. She found it useless to try and teach anything, so she let the students entertain themselves for the remainder of the day. Some talked fervently about their holiday plans, while the more studious of the bunch finished last minute assignments and began their holiday homework. Jane herself had plans to go back to her cottage for a nice change of scenery. She hadn’t met many people outside of Hogwarts since her move from the States, but she was familiar with the shopkeepers near her house and hoped to see them for tea. Her neighbor Lucille invited her out to a club in London as well, which she’d been looking forward to. 

Her family lived back in the states, and while she was well-off enough, she simply didn’t have the money saved aside to fly back for Christmas. (Nor did she want to, truthfully.) Every one of her colleagues that she’d talked to were leaving the castle as well. It seemed that everyone wanted to get away for awhile.

Jane dismissed her last class five minutes early, feeling sure her students wouldn’t mind. She had to stop by the library to deposit some books, anyway. On her way, she passed Professor Lupin’s classroom. She just happened to catch a glimpse of him sitting at his desk, and decided to stop for a quick chat.

“Last class of the day is officially over. I can finally breathe now,” she joked. He looked up from his work and smiled at her.

“Mine was a few hours ago. I’ve been catching up on grading to pass the time.” He waved her over to sit, capping his bottle of ink and tossing it into a drawer. “You seem rather excited for a break. Students driving you  _ that _ mad?”

She chuckled. “My students? Never.”

She glanced around his room. It didn’t seem like he had made any attempt to tidy things up before he left. It appeared he was in no rush to leave.

“Have any plans for the break? I’m sure you’ve got something lined up.”

His smile wavered for a split second. “I will… actually be staying here while the students are away. I don’t have any special reasons to leave, and I’ve been meaning to tackle this pile of ungraded assignments. Plus,” he joked, “the kitchen staff here can cook much better than I could ever hope to.”

Jane mirrored his smile, though it took her by surprise that he was staying behind. It left a strange feeling in her gut when she thought about him spending Christmas alone. Even stranger how he didn’t seem bothered by it.

“I take it you’ve got some spectacular plans. What’s on the agenda for you?”

Jane hummed. “Oh, I might have tea with some friends. I was invited to a party on New Year’s Eve. Who knows?”

“Sounds charming. It’ll be nice to catch up.” He rubbed his neck, sore from being bent over grading papers. “Well I would hate to keep you here any longer. I do hope you have a wonderful time, Jane. Try to stay warm. I hear it’s going to be absolutely frigid.”

She rose from her seat and patted his arm. “Have a good holiday, Remus.”

“And you as well.”

He returned to his work. She took it as her cue to leave. There were books that had to be returned, after all.

She made quick work of her packing once she returned to her room. She triple checked the locks on her door on her way out. The snow that started as soft puffs of flakes now pelted down at a blizzard rate as she walked down the cobblestone path leading out of Hogwarts. 

In the back of her mind, she still couldn’t help but think about Remus. It bugged her that he would be staying over break. She wasn’t entirely sure why; he seemed perfectly content with it.  _ Still _ , Jane thought,  _ something didn’t seem right _ . She considered running back into the castle and extending the invitation for him to stay at her place, but there was only one bed and a rather uncomfortable couch for him to crash on, and she knew he’d be too polite to accept such a long stay. It was also an informal thing to do, and while Jane got along with the professor, she knew it might be weird. 

She thought back to when he told her he’d be staying at the school. There was a hint of something else in that smile he gave her. Perhaps he wasn’t as enthusiastic as he sounded?

* * *

Few teachers were at the dining hall that night. Most had packed up and left right after their final classes, and rightfully so. The first few months of the semester had definitely been stressful. Lupin stared at Jane’s empty seat while he ate, wondering how far away she was. He hoped that she got home safely. The snow picked up considerably since her departure, and he didn’t know how far she had to travel. He thought Harry might’ve stayed on school grounds, but he later found out that the boy had been invited to stay at the Weasley’s for the holiday. It would have been nice, spending time with him away from everyone else. But he was glad that the boy had somewhere to go. He shifted his gaze around the room, taking note of who was left. In a few hours, Hogwarts would be empty, save for the few straggler students.

Truth be told, Remus struggled around the holidays.

He would never tell anyone this, of course. Those who knew him already pitied him for his lycanthropy. Finding out that he got lonely around Christmas? That would only be another thing to add to the list of sad stories. And he really didn’t mind spending the holidays alone. Really. He didn’t have anyone to celebrate it with, so it had become an unspoken tradition of his to spend this time by himself. Because of his job stability issues, he hadn’t kept that many work friendships, and therefore wasn’t invited to Christmas parties, or New Year’s outings, but he didn’t mind. Really, he didn’t.

So when he retreated back to his classroom and was greeted by that oh-so-daunting pile of ungraded papers, he didn’t sit down and sigh. He simply closed the door behind him, loosened his tie, and got to work.

And he tried not to think about how tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and he would be alone once again.

He worked through the night, unaware of what time it was. His only indication was the sliver of sunlight peeking through the curtains of his room. It was already morning. He hadn’t even stopped to sleep. He blinked, unable to read the quiz in front of him. The words and letters blurred together, forcing him to take a break. He yawned, climbing up the stairs and retiring to his room for some well needed rest.

He awoke in the evening, much to his disappointment. Had he really just slept through the entire day?

Still, he dragged himself out of bed and forced himself to get ready for whatever was left of the day. He took a shower, pulled on an old knit sweater, and decided to go for a walk around the castle before dinner to stretch his legs. It would be nice, he thought, to take his time admiring the artwork without students flooding the halls. At least, that’s what he told himself. He knew he was trying to distract himself from accepting the fact that he’d just slept through the majority of Christmas Eve.

His mind wandered along with his legs. When was the last time he’d spent Christmas with his family? Merlin, it must have been ages ago. The last time he spent the holidays with company was with his old friends. Lily and James. Sirius and Peter. Was it really that long ago?

Eventually he made it back to the dining hall. It was, as expected, completely empty at this hour. The ceiling was littered with hundreds of floating candles, while a gentle fake snow floated above him. That combined with the starry night sky created a spectacular scene. Soft violin music began to play as he entered. He had never taken in the view alone like this before. It was breathtaking.

Most of the tables and chairs had been cleared and stacked for the house elves to clean, aside from the middle row of student tables. Various holiday dishes were laid out, covered with shiny gold platters. Lupin took a seat in the center of the room and silently filled his plate. He found it unnervingly quiet without the usual hustle and bustle that the room held. It was strange, being able to hear himself eat. He missed the loud congregation of voices that filled the large space. It only made him even more aware of how lonely he really was.

But the food was good. And the view was nice. So he continued to eat and be thankful for the roof over his head.

He nearly choked when he heard a voice speak up behind him.

“Sorry to bother you, but is this seat taken?”

He looked up in utter shock as Jane stood before him. Snowflakes still clung to her hair from the storm outside.

“Jane, what are you doing here? I-I thought you left already?”

She sat down next to him, grabbing a clean plate. “I did. And then I came back.”

He gave her a confused look. “But what about your plans? The party, your friends-”

“Funny thing about that.” She smiled, shaking her head. “I’m not that much of a party person.”

He lowered his gaze to his half-empty plate. Jane sensed that he looked a bit guilty.

“Alright, alright, I’ll spill.” She kicked his foot. “I was on my way, but it was snowing too heavily. It wouldn’t have been safe for me to go home. I do plan on getting home for New Year’s Eve, though.”

He seemed to buy her made up story, relaxing a bit more. The two friends ate in silence, though this time the silence was comfortable.

“Hey,” said Jane, nudging him to look up at the ceiling. “Aren’t they beautiful? I’ll never get tired of looking up at them all.”

The candles twinkled in the air. Against the starry ceiling, it almost looked like they were floating in space.

He studied her face as she marveled the lights. “I suppose it  _ is _ a beautiful sight.”

* * *

Jane woke up the next morning with a childish sense of excitement. Christmas morning always felt a little more magical than usual. Today was going to be full of surprises, but not for her. Jane loved giving gifts, perhaps even more than she liked receiving them. She loved it even better when the gifts were unexpected.

Sure enough, Lupin was already downstairs, enjoying his morning tea with breakfast. She tried to hide her excitement as she approached him.

“Good morning,” he yawned. “Someone’s chipper today.”

“And someone’s still half asleep,” she teased, stealing a croissant from his plate. He slapped her wrist lightly, though he chucked into his teacup.

“So, how many papers do you plan on tackling today?”

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to join me on a trip to Hogsmeade today?” Jane blinked at him in surprise. “I haven’t been down there in years. Thought it might be something to do.”

Jane nodded. “Yeah, that… sounds nice, actually.”

“Shall we meet outside the front doors around… say… noon? I can call a carriage if you’d like.”

“Noon it is.” She finished off her (his) croissant. “I should probably get ready then. I’ll see you in a little while.”

He handed her another croissant, knowing she’d try to steal it anyway. “I look forward to it.”

Remus watched her leave before cupping his head in his hands. Honestly, a trip out was the last thing on his list of things he wanted to do today. He did, however, want to at least  _ try _ to embrace the “holiday spirit” for Jane’s sake. If she could make the effort to accompany him through the holidays, the least he could do was make it up to her with something fun. After all, he wasn’t buying the heavy snow excuse she’d told him. He had a sneaking suspicion that she cancelled her plans to keep him from spending the week all by himself. He appreciated it, but he felt bad.

When the clock struck noon and the bell tower rang, he was waiting for her as promised. He changed into one of his nicer suits (still considerably big on him, and worn in some places, but it did the job) and folded his coat over his arm. Jane changed into a green sweater dress and a cozy pair of boots. He straightened himself up when he saw her approaching.

“I like your coat,” he noted, slipping his own coat on. “Reminds me of those detective books; Sherlock Holmes.”

She flipped the collar of her coat up, beginning to walk with him. “Okay  _ Watson _ , let’s get going.”

The carriage ride was short. The snowfall had picked up again, though instead of the heavy whiteout flakes, they were much softer. It made a satisfying crunch as they were the first to leave their footprints in it. A little over half of the shops were closed for Christmas, but the displays were beautiful to look at. A giant decorated tree stood proudly in the center of the shopping village, adding to the festive mood. Lupin walked beside Jane, hands shoved in his pockets to keep him warm. For it being late December, it wasn’t as brutally cold as he expected, but it was enough to leave him with a chill.

He stopped outside one of the shops. “Oh, I used to know the owners of this place.” He turned to Jane. “I think I’ll stop in for a moment, see if they’re still here. You can wait out here if you’d like, I’ll just be a minute.”

She nodded, leaning against the display window. He disappeared into the shop, leaving her to take in the quaint little village. It reminded her of a similar village she recalled stumbling upon during an old family vacation in Pennsylvania. It was in the middle of nowhere and stuck out like a sore thumb. The streets were paved red, and each house was brightly painted to look unique from its neighbor. One day, she decided, it would be nice to live in a place like that.

Remus returned from the store visibly happier than when he entered.

“The Croxbees,” he explained, beginning to walk again. “Lovely older couple. I bought some of my supplies and other odds and ends from them when I attended Hogwarts. It’s nice to know that they’re still in business after all these years.”

Remus talking about his younger years brought a comforting warmth to her. She decided to press him for more stories.

“You were a Gryffindor student, correct?”

“I was, yes. I was absolutely terrified to attend school, you know, with my…” he trailed off. Jane understood.

“Luckily, a group of students took a liking to me. It’s much easier to get through school with a group of friends. Between them and Dumbledore, I was able to manage.”

“So they knew about your condition, then?”

“Oh, I hid it at first. But it became difficult to come up with new excuses for my monthly disappearances. Eventually, they started asking questions, and it was simply easier to tell the truth than to dance around it. But they pieced it together before I had a chance to.”

She hummed. “Have you kept in touch at all?”

His expression turned dark. “Unfortunately, they’ve all passed away. All but one. He’s… gotten himself into some trouble, though. I found it best to cut those ties.”

She lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

He sighed, looking down at her. “It is most unfortunate, what happened to them. However, one learns that friendship can be found in most places. You simply have to look for it.”

The pair stopped outside of a dimly lit pub. Jane squinted, trying to peer through the window.

“We can stop here if you’d like. Grab something to eat, maybe wash it down with a couple of butterbeers.”

“Butterbeers,” she echoed. He heard the curiosity in her voice.

“Have you never tried one before? We definitely need to change that.”

* * *

Three butterbeers later, and it had grown dark outside. The two chattered loudly upon entering the castle, joking about a story Jane brought up at the pub.

“What possessed you to bite the head off of a bloody _ butter lamb _ ?”

Jane’s stomach hurt from laughing. “I was four, Remus! I don’t know!”

He wiped a tear from his eye. “But why would you think to put it back on the table? Did you think no one would notice?”

“I was  _ four _ !”

Eventually, their laughter died down, leaving the silence of the empty halls a stark contrast. Jane cleared her throat.

“So what now?”

He brushed his snow-dampened hair out of his face. “I’m not entirely sure.”

She slid off her coat. “We could watch a movie in one of the common areas. Though I don’t recall seeing a tv anywhere. Or a movie for that matter.”

Remus shook his head. “No tvs, but there’s an old projector in my classroom. I’m sure there’s something we could plug into it.”

“Alright.”

Remus dashed off to the library to find something to watch, while Jane found her way to his classroom. He was quick to meet her there, and as Jane rearranged the room, Remus pointed his wand at the stone fireplace, lighting a cozy fire. Jane watched Remus fiddle with the projector, suddenly remembering the gift she left in her room.

“Before we get started, I’m going to run my coat back to my room to let it dry. I’ll be right back.”

When he heard her footsteps fade, Lupin felt around in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. While he had stopped to talk to the Croxbees, he also purchased something for Jane. It wasn’t much, but he wanted to thank her for being such a good friend; not just for staying with him over break, but for everything she’d done so far.

It came as a surprise to him that he actually enjoyed today’s festivities. It was a strange revelation. Usually by this time on Christmas Day, he’d be fixing to go to bed, wanting to avoid the numbness that always seemed to follow him every year. But today, he felt normal. Maybe he  _ was _ capable of enjoying the holidays again.

“So, don’t be mad, but I may have gotten you a present,” Jane said, slightly out of breath from her dash across the school. She entered the room his her hands behind her back. Lupin held his own box in the palm of his hand.

“When could you possibly have had the time for Christmas shopping? I was with you all day.”

“I stopped at a store on my way back home.”

“Is that so? How convenient that you just happened to remember that as you put your coat away in your room.”

“It’s almost like I’ve been hiding it there all day,” she quipped, taking her seat on top of his desk. The light from the fire illuminated their faces. Jane awkwardly pulled the gift out from behind her, smiling shyly.

“Well, go on then.”

Lupin chuckled, tearing the paper off of the smaller box on top first. Two chocolate bars were tied together neatly with a thin red ribbon. 

“How observant of you.” He smiled. “My favorite.  _ How _ did you know?”

She smirked, rolling her eyes at his sarcasm. “Ah, just a lucky guess.”

The second gift was in a larger package. He tore off the paper, revealing a white box. Inside was a warm beige sweater.

“I noticed that when you transformed, you stretched your clothes out. The material is nice, so it should stretch with you and not get worn out as quickly.” Her eyes widened. “Not that I think your clothes are worn out. That sounded wrong.”

He ran his hand over the material. It was soft to the touch.

“This was very kind of you. Thank you, Jane. Truly.”

She blushed.

“And on the topic of kindness,” he transitioned, “I happen to have something for you.”

He produced the velvet box from his hand.

“I think you’re supposed to do this bit on one knee.”

“Oh, hush up.” He laughed. The tips of his ears tinted pink. “I’m not proposing to you. I know you’re probably devastated at that news.”

“Absolutely gutted.” She bit her cheek. “Please, continue.”

“You have shown nothing but kindness and compassion towards me from the first day we met. And though I must admit I’m usually quite wary bringing new people into my life, I truly am thankful for the friendship you have given me. It’s… nice, being able to talk to someone again.” He passed the gift to her. “So, Merry Christmas.”

She popped open the box to reveal a dainty chain necklace. Jane beamed, holding the small pendant up to get a closer look. It was a little golden butterfly, perched on a tiny purple flower that she recognized instantly.

“Is this a wolfsbane charm?” she asked, holding back a giggle. He nodded, amused that she got the joke as quickly as she did.

“It’s charmed, I think. Mr. Croxbee said it’s supposed to flutter when your heartbeat quickens.” He fussed with his sleeve, avoiding eye contact. “But it’s from a secondhand shop, so I don’t know if it works.”

“It’s amazing, Remus. Thank you.” Jane closed the box and set it down gently beside her.

Together, they chatted through the night and watched the cheesy Christmas movie Remus picked out. Soon they fell into a mutual quiet, listening to the fire crackling and simply enjoying each other’s company. Jane began to zone in and out, fighting to stay awake. At some time during the night, she lost the battle.

Remus hadn’t noticed she’d fallen asleep beside him until he felt her head fall on his shoulder. Thinking she was trying to get his attention, he looked down at her, and-

Oh.

_ Oh. _

It hit him out of nowhere, and yet all at once. Suddenly he was aware of her steady breath on his shoulder, how soft her hair looked, how her eyelashes fluttered peacefully as she slept. He swallowed. Hard.

_ You bloody idiot. You’re falling for her. _


	15. The Holiday: Part Two

Jane woke the following morning with a subtle pain in her neck. Blinking her eyes open, she was met with the revelation that:

A.) She was still in her Christmas clothes, and

B.) This was not her room.

Shrugging off the layer of coats that covered her, she scrambled to her feet. She was in Lupin’s office. But when did she get there? And why was she there?

Lupin watched her piece together her whereabouts from his desk, trying (poorly) to pretend like he was grading papers, and that he hadn’t been watching her sleep for the last couple of minutes.

“You fell asleep last night,” he explained. “I didn’t want to wake you, so I brought you up to my office.”

Jane closed her mouth, her unspoken questions having been answered. After a moment, she tilted her head.

“You… carried me up to your office?”

Remus coughed awkwardly. “Just one flight of stairs. It was no trouble, really.”

“Ah.” Jane rubbed at her sore neck.

“The snow seems to be at a standby,” he noted, gesturing towards the window. “You might be able to see your friends. No doubt you’ll have much to catch up on.”

“Yeah,” she answered, though her voice almost sounded regretful. “I guess it has stopped.”

Remus set down his quill and cracked his knuckles. 

“Well, I’m not sure about you, but I could go for a good breakfast. Will you be joining me?”

She folded the coats from the uncomfortable sofa she’d slept on. 

“I should probably change first. I promise I’ll stop by to see you before I leave, though.”

“Very well.” Remus took the coats from her hands and smiled warmly at her. “I’ll see you later.”

Jane did see him later. In fact, she ‘saw him later’ for a total of three more days. Excuses flew out of her naturally; she was looking for a gift for her friend that she misplaced and simply couldn’t leave without it, she was feeling quite tired and didn’t want to drive without being fully alert, there was an accident on the main road home that was flooding traffic, etc. Remus, from what she could tell, seemed to accept every lie that she told him.

The thing is, Jane really wasn’t sure why she felt so compelled to stay. She missed her friends dearly, and they did have much to catch up on. The castle was beautiful, but she’d begun to feel increasingly stir-crazy over the past few weeks. Plus, she was never one to shy away from indulging in some alone time in the peace of her own home.

With New Year’s Eve approaching quickly, she needed another excuse. She was running out of ideas.

Meanwhile, across the school, Remus paced the length of his office. All break long, he’d spent the majority of his time with his colleague. It was as if they were glued at the hip. And it was nice, being around her. He wasn’t complaining at all. But ever since Christmas night, he couldn’t stop his mind from racing. It was hard to clear his head when the person who’d put him in such a frenzy was always around him.

Dizzy. She made him  _ dizzy _ . Some silly little switch in the back of his mind was flipped and now he couldn’t remember how to function properly. It was like he was back in his school days, pining after Sirius like a heart-eyed buffoon.

He really needed to stop falling for his best friends. It was becoming an unfavorable habit of his.

He’d been able to act somewhat normal around her for the most part. Sure, he jumped every time he heard her call after him. And yes, he was now hyper aware of how close they stood, and he didn’t know what to do with his hands when he spoke. But on the outside he appeared normal, and she hadn’t called him out for any weird behavior, so he thought luck was playing on his side. At least he wasn’t stuttering his words or speaking his thoughts out loud. She’d find it strange if he suddenly told her just how pretty her eyes were, or how she smelled specifically of old leather and daisies, and how the scent was very pleasant.

He did feel guilty, keeping her here like this. Ultimately, it was her decision to stay with him, but Remus knew that she was only staying out of politeness. The only thing keeping her here with him was she didn’t want to leave him here all by himself. It was a silly notion; after all, he was a grown man. He could take care of himself. He didn’t want to hold her back from having fun somewhere else.

But  _ Christ _ , did he love having her around. The selfish part of him wanted her to stay all week long. They’d done so much together over their shared time so far, and he enjoyed every second of it.

It was late afternoon when the two professors crossed paths again. Remus bumped into the brunette on his way to the library. When she approached him, his heartbeat quickened.

_ Act normal _ , he scolded himself.

“Well you wouldn’t believe what just happened,” Jane gushed, throwing up her hands in defeat. “I was on my way down to say goodbye to you when I got a letter from my friend. Apparently, the owner of the bar got into some hot water, so they won’t be open for a while. Looks like my plans are cancelled again.” She frowned and shook her head. “Shit luck, really.”

Remus stared back at her. She was clearly lying again. He needed to put an end to this, for her sake.

“I know you lied about why you came back. I also know that you cancelled your Christmas plans on purpose.”

Jane’s eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to say something. After a moment’s thought, she closed her mouth and sighed. There was no use in arguing. She tilted her head and leaned against the wall.

“Nobody deserves to spend the holidays alone, Remus.”

His back sank into the wall, arms crossed.

“I know, and I appreciate what you’ve done for me. It was very kind of you, and I enjoyed spending time with you. But the holidays are over. You don’t have to stay here with me.”

“But-”

“I know you mean well, Jane. But I would sleep much better knowing that I’m not the one keeping you from your friends. Go out and enjoy yourself. Please?”

She looked down at her shoes, knowing that he was right. She owed her friends an explanation for her recent disappearance, and she didn’t want them to think she was blowing them off.

“You could come with us,” she offered, though she already knew his answer. “We’re going to a small pub in the city. I could write down the name and tell you where-”

Firm hands clutched her shoulders, cutting her off.

“Go and have fun. I’ll be fine.”

She gazed into his eyes, searching for any trace of doubt. He seemed determined that she went.

“Alright,” she gave in. “I’ll go.”

He removed his hands from her shoulders. She hung her head in mock defeat before chuckling shyly.

“I’ll see you in the new year, then.”

Remus was only slightly disappointed when she left him to pack. He had a lot to think about.


	16. 31 December, 1993

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An excerpt from the pages of Remus Lupin's personal journal.

_ 31 December, 1993 _

_ I must confess, I’ve done something I’ve told myself not to do. I would say it came out of the blue, but reflecting on these past few months, I realize that it’s been a slow progression. Inevitable. _

_ I’m falling for her. I fell for her as quickly and delicately as her head fell to rest on my shoulder. I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t. I know that it won’t work, and it’s dangerous. But as much as I’ve struggled to tame this fire, the bigger part of me wants to surrender to the smoke and flames and ashes that are to come. I think the chaos we create could be beautiful. _

_ I sound silly, speaking like this after just six days, but it hasn’t been just these six days, has it? Every happy memory I can think of lately includes her. She sneaks her way into each passing thought, as if I’m being serenaded with sweet music and she’s dancing alongside me, leading me through the melody. She sends my mind into first-year crush daydreams with something as simple as a friendly smile. I feel like an awkward schoolboy who can’t focus on his studies because he’s got his eyes fixed on someone across the room. As if at any moment, I’ll be passed a note that says “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” _

_ I’m aware of how juvenile this all sounds. It’s something new and exciting, and I don’t know the ending because I’ve never dared to explore this far; never allowed myself to experience what this feels like. And… and I won’t. _

_ This cannot happen. It would be highly irresponsible of me to involve her in my life. I know I’m a walking self-destruct button. She deserves someone young. Someone whole. Someone who isn’t at risk of killing her once a month. _

_ So although the warmth from the fire is nice, I’ll admire it from a distance. All I can do is support her from the sidelines. A friendship is safe so long as it stays that way. No use in letting emotions get in the way. Pesky little things. _

_ Though I still can’t help but live in my daydreams. Let me swim in this feeling until I drown. The depths of this ocean seem much more inviting than anything reality could ever offer. _


	17. A Game of Chess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to skip the chapter summaries from this point onward. If you'd still like me to add them, don't be afraid to ask! I just found them to be repetitive.

With their holiday now spent, students and staff returned to Hogwarts and picked up right where they left off. Friends regrouped and chatted away in the halls, professors resumed their lessons, and Remus Lupin set out to play chess.

The time he spent away from Jane was useful. He had calmed down considerably after a handful of sleepless nights spent sorting out his thoughts. Sure, he liked his friend. But he had no way of telling how she felt about him. Why stress over unrequited feelings? He could handle a normal, healthy friendship, _and_ admire how nice she looked. Surely that wasn’t unheard of? That wasn’t a crime, was it?

He told himself this as McGonagall moved her knight, taking out one of his pawns. She lowered her glasses and shot him a smug look.

“You’ve fallen out of practice, dear.”

“I was distracted,” he assured her. “It won’t happen again.”

He studied the board with a look of concentration. After careful deliberation, he cast his rook forward.

“Is something troubling you?” she asked before planning her next move.

“Not exactly.” Right as he answered, he saw Jane walk into the library. She stopped to chat with Madam Pince at the front desk. Minerva turned around to see what he was looking at.

“Ah.” She grinned coyly. “Of course.”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” She moved a chess piece. “Your turn.”

He forced his gaze away to hastily shove a piece forward. Immediately after, his attention snapped back to the front desk. Whatever Madam Pince had said had made Jane laugh.

“Check.”

“Hm?” He cursed under his breath, noticing that his king was now in a vulnerable position. When did that happen? He searched for a way out of this predicament, but soon realized that whatever move he made, she’d still win.

“You know, this is the second time you’ve stared at her during one of our conversations.” Minerva crossed her arms. “I don’t see why you haven’t talked to her yet.”

Remus tilted his head. “I have talked to her. We talk almost every day.”

He huffed, moving his last bishop to the side. McGonagall moved her piece forward and happily snatched his king.

“We are strictly friends.” He risked one last glance at the desk. She was gone. “I have no desire for anything more.”

* * *

Jane Adeline was many things, but evil was not one of them.

Time heals all wounds, in both a physical sense and a metaphorical sense. Jane had a lot of time to think and reflect upon returning home. Her mind had been all out of sorts ever since the argument with Snape. For a short while, she was able to push it back in her mind, but once she was alone it reared its ugly head around and plagued her thoughts once more. He was very clearly in the wrong. Jane wasn’t overly familiar with the punishments that would ensue if word got out about Remus’s condition, but if her lessons with Snape had taught her anything, she found it safe to guess that it wouldn’t be good. It was rude in every imaginable way, not to mention an extreme breach of privacy. It was also very off putting to hear the stories that students told about him. It irked her how often he mistreated his students. A school should be a safe place for children to learn, not a breeding ground for trauma. 

Even so, Remus--though clearly shaken initially--disregarded Snape’s actions. The compassionate side of her knew that his coolness towards others was likely the product of something else. It was a well-known fact that Severus Snape had very few friends in the castle, if any at all. If she proposed a truce, perhaps his bitterness would disappear, and his resentment towards his students would simmer down. 

That small sliver of optimism was what brought Jane to the dungeons. In one arm, she gripped her latest library find; _Clairvoyants & Divination _. In the other, a glass jar tied with a green velvet ribbon.

The head of Slytherin house sat hunched over his desk, grumbling to himself while flipping through a folder. Jane found his door to be wide open, which was unusual for the antisocial professor. Before she had a chance to announce her presence, she heard him sigh.

“I’m not in the mood to be _lectured_ , Adeline. Remove yourself from my doorway.”

“Fortunately for you, I’m on groundskeeping duty today, so I won’t be giving any lectures.”

He stared blankly ahead, annoyance very apparent. The folder promptly slammed shut.

“What do you want?”

“I’m delivering a late Christmas present.”

He laughed dryly, though when he noticed Jane’s sincerity, he frowned.

“What on earth possessed you to do that?”

Jane shrugged. “I felt bad with where we left things. Here.” She presented the jar to him. He didn’t immediately reach for it, so she placed it gently on his desk. His narrow eyes scanned over the jar.

“They’re rose thorns. I gathered them this morning.” She folded her hands behind her back, nearly dropping her book in the process. “I heard rumors that you were starting the fifth years on love potions. Thought you could use some of these.”

“I know what they are.” He still sounded annoyed, but his features began to soften. “How did you know that rose thorns were used in love potions?”

“I had to look it up. Some of the ingredients I’ve never heard of before. Rose thorns seemed simple enough for me to get my hands on.”

“Very well.” He rose from his seat. “These will be of good use. I’ll bring them to class tomorrow.”

He crossed the room and placed the jar on his shelf. Jane’s heart sank when she saw two identical jars of rose thorns on the same shelf.

“I suppose this is meant as a peace offering?”

“I’m willing to apologize if you are.” 

Snape looked appalled, as if she’d asked him to sever his left thumb off. “I admit, my words may have been construed harshly, but I will not apologize for speaking of Lupin’s dirty secret. If anything, I was trying to warn you to stay as far away from that lowlife halfbreed-”

“Watch your tongue, Severus.” Jane cut him off with a look that could kill. “I don’t know what he’s done to upset you to such a degree, but he is my friend, and you will not speak poorly of him. I am offering you a truce, but my forgiveness only goes so far.”

“My apologies,” he spat. “I’m just finding it a tad bit difficult to speak highly of someone whose friends made my life a living hell.”

“...In school,” she added. “They were mean to you in _school_ , Severus. Haven’t you changed from your teenage self?”

Snape grumbled something incoherent.

“I’m not asking for you two to be friends, though from what Remus has said, I think he’d be okay with extending that option. All I’m asking is that you treat each other with basic respect. You can go a semester without hurling insults at him, I promise.”

Snape inhaled sharply and closed his eyes. When they opened again, the anger had fled from them. 

“Thank you for the rose thorns.” He said this slowly, as if it were difficult for him to say. Jane accepted this as an apology. She felt it was as close as they were going to get on the subject matter. 

“You’re welcome.” She held up her book. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with a certain divination professor.”


	18. Two Owls, One Argument, & a Full Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depictions of graphic violence ahead. If you want to skip the transformation scene, read up until the sentence "You'd better be."

“...Clairvoyants share a unique skill set that has yet to be fully understood…”

Jane read aloud from her book to Hagrid, who was more than happy to listen. Once snowfall fell over Hogwarts, there was less work to be done outside. Winter was, as Hagrid said, his relaxation season. As long as the animals were well fed and the pathways were cleared of snow, the two groundskeepers were free to entertain themselves however they pleased. Jane used this time to bond with the gentle half giant. Lately, she took to reading whatever book she had on hand to him in his cottage. Hagrid couldn’t read, but he shared her passion for knowledge.

“Them clairvoyants are freaky, I tell yuh.” Hagrid clicked his tongue. “Once heard a rumor that boggarts don’ work on ‘em. Wouldn’t be able to tell yuh though, the only person who claims to see the future is that Trelawney character, and I tell yuh, that one’s straight from the looney bin. Kindhearted lady, but off ‘er rocker, that one.”

Jane thought back to her own experience with boggarts. The image of Lupin flashed her mind, and she shivered at the mental picture.

“You don’t think she’s legit?”

He chuckled. “Trelawney? Nah. I think she truly believes ‘n all that stuff she does, but most of ‘er predictions fall flat.”

An owl perched itself onto the stone ledge of Hagrid’s window. It tapped the glass twice and dropped a small envelope at its feet.

“Emphasis on _most_ ,” Jane said, getting up to let the owl in. “Even a broken clock is right twice a day.”

“That be true,” he laughed. “That be very true.”

The owl hooted, swooping into the cottage. It sank its talons into the armchair by the fireplace, warming itself from the snowy journey it returned from. Jane opened the envelope to find a small piece of parchment inside.

“How’s Buckbeak doing?” Jane implored, only half listening as she skimmed over the note.

_Miss Adeline, please report to the potions classroom upon your earliest convenience. Signed, Severus Snape_

“Poor fella, he don’ deserve what they’re sayin’ about him.” Hagrid sniffed. “The ministry’s talkin’ of putin’ him down.”

Jane’s head snapped up. “They wouldn’t!”

“Breaks my heart. Bucky’s a good hippogriff. I gave ‘em my word an’ everything! They said he’s too dangerous.”

“I’m sure Dumbledore will put in a good word on your behalf.” She frowned, patting the large man’s shoulder. Hargid nodded wildly.

“Dumbledore’s a good man. He’ll get Bucky outta this mess.”

Just as Jane went to close the window, another owl flew in. It dropped another note on the ground and quickly joined the other on the armchair. Jane and Hagrid exchanged looks.

“What’s this one say?”

Jane scooped the note up from the floor. This one was without an envelope. The snow from outside dampened the corners of the parchment.

_That means now, Adeline. Signed, Severus Snape._

She flashed the note to Hagrid. “Guess I’m needed in the dungeons.”

“You go on.” Hagrid waved her off. “You can leave yer book here. We’ll pick it up again tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow I have classes.” Jane quickly threw on her coat. “I’ll come down on the weekend. Maybe we can do brunch?”

“I’ll speak with the house elves, M’ sure they’ll sneak somethin’ out fer us.”

“Perfect.” She waved on her way out. “See you then.”

Jane wasn’t sure what could be so important to produce such urgency from him, but she knew that Snape liked to do things on his own terms, which meant she’d better get there as quickly as she could. The trip from Hagrid’s hut to the potions room was not a short walk by any means.

She arrived at the potions room seven minutes later. She watched from afar as Snape worked quickly. Jane had never seen him this focused before. Whatever was in the cauldron was casting a faint purple glow on his face. He looked up, noticing Jane standing in the doorway.

“Do come in.”

She entered the room cautiously. She’d never ventured into the potions room before. The walls were made of grey stone, whereas all of the other classrooms she’d been in were tan or brown. There was a noticeable chill that hung in the air as well. 

“Close the door behind you.”

She did as she was told. He motioned to a chair nearby, and she took this as her sign to sit.

“You look terrified.”

She smirked. “Terrified is a bit of a stretch. I’m… unsure.”

He hummed, stirring whatever potion he was working on.

“You took long enough.”

“To be fair, you were very cryptic with your instructions.”

He sighed, setting down his ladle. “My most sincere apologies for refraining from discussing your friend’s condition in a note that could be intercepted and read by anyone. Next time, I’ll make myself quite clear.”

Jane chewed at her bottom lip, feeling embarrassed. “Oh.”

He finished his potion and set it over the burner to heat up. Then he began to explain.

“Do you know what this is?”

She shook her head.

“Look down.”

Jane dipped her head down. Her eyes locked onto the butterfly necklace hanging around her neck. The purple flower dangled over her chest.

“...Wolfsbane?”

“Correct.” He wiped his hands on a satin cloth nearby. “This is wolfsbane. It’s what I’ve been concocting for Professor Lupin ever since his arrival. It does not prevent his transformation, but it has the power to shift his consciousness back into his control during a full moon.”

Again, Jane nodded, prompting him to continue.

“I know in our previous lessons, I briefly mentioned that wolfsbane is an extremely advanced potion to make. Up until now, it could only be made in small doses. I have discovered a way to work around that, however the effects of this have never been officially observed by another witness. All the information I have gathered is from Lupin himself; from his own memory.”

Jane eyed the cauldron curiously. “You found out a way to mass produce it?”

He raised his eyebrows, staring at her. “That is what I implied, yes.” He turned to take the potion off the burner, but stalled mid-turn. “Why?”

Jane shrugged, chipping at her nails. “Nothing. It’s just impressive, that’s all.”

When his back was fully turned to her, she could’ve sworn she’d caught the faint shape of a smile on his face.

He cleared his throat, pouring the potion into several little glass vials. He handed the last bottle to Jane. She held it up, having never seen it before. It was a beautiful purple color. 

“You are to give this to him. When he transforms at the rise of the next full moon, you are to stay with him and observe.”

Jane nearly dropped the bottle. “Pardon?”

“What was not clear? I’m asking you to observe his behavior after taking the wolfsbane.”

“No, no, I understand that.” She stared at him with a mix of shock and disbelief. “I’m just wondering… why? I mean, I know _why_ , but-”

“I will monitor outside of the door, in case things take a bad turn. You will be in control of the situation the whole time.”

Jane groaned into her hands. “Remus won’t be happy.”

“Professor Lupin will not know about this experiment until the last possible second.”

“I can’t keep that from him,” she protested. “He’ll never trust me again if I do that.”

Snape leaned against the counter and rubbed his temples.

“Then you shall tell him upon your return, and I will persuade him.”

* * *

Jane knocked wearily on the defense door, potion in hand.

“Come in.”

Lupin was leaning against the wall, gazing out of the window. When he saw Jane enter, he beamed and beckoned her to join him.

“Chocolate?” He asked, offering her some. Jane declined politely.

“I have a delivery for you.” She held up the glass bottle for him to see. A look of relief washed over him.

“I was wondering when the next batch would be ready. Last cycle was my final bottle. I was growing worried.” He pocketed the potion. “Only one?”

She rocked nervously on her feet. “He has the full batch in his classroom. I was ordered to bring this to you because I need to talk to you.”

He frowned, moving to his desk to store away his chocolate. “Nothing bad, I hope?”

She followed him. “No, nothing bad. More of a… proposition?”

“A proposition,” he echoed. Jane knew that she’d have to tread lightly. He was already suspicious; she could tell. She placed a hand on his arm, soft enough to reassure him and hopefully cushion the blow.

“Professor Snape and I just had a chat.”

He chuckled dryly, mumbling some quick-wit response.

“...And he would like me to stay with you and observe your next transformation. For his research.”

Jane expected him to immediately shut down the idea, or to make a joke, or to show _some_ kind of reaction. Instead, he froze in place, completely silent. His expression was unreadable.

“Remus?” She asked nervously.

“...Remus…?”

He stared blankly ahead. “You said Professor Snape is in his classroom currently?”

She nodded, now a pale shade of ghostly white. The lack of emotion in his response was honestly terrifying.

“Very well. I must stop down to see him now.”

He shook himself out of her grasp and calmly exited the room. Jane didn’t feel right. The whole exchange didn’t feel right. She debated following him, however a noise from down the hall made the decision for her.

“SEVERUS!”

His voice boomed, breaking the calm quiet of the near-empty hall. Jane sprinted after him immediately. She’d never heard him raise his voice, yet alone sound remotely threatening before. Angry was never a word she’d use to describe Remus, but right then, the word came to mind.

As she turned the corner, she finally caught up with him. He marched over to the professor’s door and kicked it open, much to the horror of the onlooking students who happened to watch the scene walking by. She quickened her pace, following him closely behind.

“No. _Absolutely_ not!”

Snape turned to face him, completely calm. “Ah, professor. You’ve come to me at the perfect time. I’ve just finished brewing your-”

“Don’t play with me! You asked her to stay in the same room as me on a full moon,” Lupin fumed. “Are you out of your _damn_ mind?”

Snape sighed, exhausted from the conversation already.

“If the potion works as you claim it does, there should be no reason to fear any consequ-”

“Do you know what kind of position you’re putting her in? She’s muggle born. She’s not a witch! She will have no way to defend herself, and you want her in a room with an unpredictable beast that could very well _kill her_?”

“She will not be alone. I will be outside of the room in case of any likelihood of emergency.”

“No!” Remus brought his fist down on the table. “This is not a lighthearted experiment! You are deliberately putting a close acquaintance of mine in danger. We don’t know how I’ll react around other people. We only know how I act alone.”

“Which is why we need to observe this. How will we ever know how the potion affects you if we don’t introduce a variable?”

Lupin stared at the ceiling. Jane feared he might reach over the table and choke the other man.

“Why her?” His voice was smaller. “Why not you?”

Snape glared at him venomously. “You know damn well why not.”

They shared a brief silence.

“I also figured you’d want to be alone with someone whom you trust. Clearly,” he spat, “that eliminates me. Now, do you have a better option, or would you like to continue on with your barbaric ramblings?”

It was at this moment that the two professors realized Jane was still there. Lupin spun around, face red from shouting.

“I… wouldn’t mind.” Her voice registered as barely a whisper. “I want to help you. This… this could help you, I think.”

She glanced between the two men.

“But I also know that this is not my decision to make. It has to be Remus’s call.”

Remus mumbled a quiet “thank you” before sitting down. The air hung thick with silent tension. Lupin closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

“Okay,” he said finally. “But Professor Adeline will accompany me during the days prior to the moon. If she is to immerse herself, she is to see the whole process.”

Snape summoned a piece of parchment. “I’ll inform Dumbledore of her upcoming absences.”

Remus dropped his voice lower, locking eyes with the potions professor. “And if anything happens…”

“I will be close by if I need to intervene,” Snape finished. They glared at each other for another long moment.

“You’d better be.”

* * *

The process started almost immediately. The day after their meeting in Snape’s classroom was the first day where Lupin started to show symptoms of his monthly affliction. As promised, Dumbledore was informed of Jane’s absences; her students were more than thrilled to be greeted by a note on her door stating that muggle studies classes would be cancelled for the week, and nobody chose to ask any questions. Day one went relatively smoothly; his students were curious as to why she was present during his class, but they soon lost interest and forgot she was even there. This became routine as the days went by.

Something Jane had never noticed before, however, was how quickly Lupin appeared to deteriorate. Seeing him once or twice a day was not enough time to pick up on anything out of the ordinary. Now, watching him teach and escorting him around the castle, she could practically see the disease taking over in real time. 

The first day, he only seemed slightly sore. His movements were a tad bit slower than usual, but nothing out of the ordinary. Soon after, the pain became more visual. He would keep his movements to a minimum. Often, he would request for Jane to grab something for him if it was across the room, or on a high shelf. His voice became strained and labored with each passing day. Two days before the full moon, she ‘d walked in on him hunched over on the floor. Remus assured her that he was fine, but it was still a heartbreaking sight.

That was the day that he asked her to pull out his cane.

When he asked her, the defeat and shame in his voice was audible. It was clear that this was a last resort crutch for him, and something that he didn’t want Jane to see. She noticed that some of his students talked about it in hushed voices in between classes. Remus was aware of this; it made him feel awful, but he chose not to address it. Jane respected his wishes, but still dished out scolding looks to anyone she overheard.

By the end of the day, he began to sweat feverishly. She noticed that all of his weight was supported on his cane, adding to the pained limp that he’d developed. Jane refused to let him walk back to his room alone that day, much to his protest.

The next day was the day before the full moon. Lupin sent her a short note, telling her not to come. She didn’t hear from him for the rest of the day.

The day of the full moon, Jane couldn’t think of anything but what was to come later that night. Lupin still had not reached out to her, so she assumed he would not be teaching again. The day went along as normal, though for Jane, the minutes felt like hours. When Snape approached her in the Great Hall, he informed her on the situation.

“He requested that you come at the time discussed. I’m to take you to his living quarters tonight. As for now, fetch something to eat and prepare for nightfall.”

And so, Jane did exactly that. She found that she didn’t have an appetite, so she forced herself to choke down a few rolls (as to not raise suspicion amongst her peers). After dinner, she retreated back to her office and paced the perimeter of the room, waiting anxiously for Snape to escort her. Jane didn’t know what to expect. She hadn’t talked face-to-face with the defense professor in a few days. _Would his voice sound different? Would he even be able to talk? Would he look different?_

The sound of rushed footsteps pulled her out of her worries. A slightly out of breath Severus stood in the doorway.

“It’s time.”

He led her through the castle. The sun had already set, leaving the sky a soft peach color. The moon was due to rise any minute, which meant time was of the essence.

“When you enter, do not be alarmed if he appears ill. Do as you are told. Listen to what he tells you. If at any time you need to leave, call for me. I will be waiting in the room next door.”

He stopped when they reached the twin staircases in Lupin’s classroom, placing a hand on the stone railing. There was a strange look on Professor Snape’s face, illuminated only by the soft twilight--now a dangerous shade of scarlet--peeking through the window.

“And above all,” he instructed, “avoid getting bit.”

Jane glanced up at him. “Great advice. I’ll try to remember that.” Though her words were playful, neither person could deny the nervousness behind the statement.

“Good luck, Adeline.”

He raised his wand and aimed it at the office door.

“ _Alohomora_.”

The door opened with a pronounced _click_. Jane climbed the stairs, each step feeding the awful feeling of uncertainty in her gut. Once she was inside the office, she heard the door slam shut behind her. This was it. There was no turning back.

It was dark, so she had to feel her way around the room until she found the door to Lupin’s living quarters. Luckily, he had cleaned up some of the clutter on the floor beforehand, making this task slightly easier. Her hand grazed over the metal doorknob and twisted, and for a split second, she panicked; this door was locked as well, but a quick pat down revealed that it was locked from the outside. A sharp _pop_ filled the silence, and then Jane was in.

The first thing she noticed was how… _empty_ his room was. Compared to his classroom which was decorated from floor to ceiling, his room harbored nothing but a bed, a dresser, and a weathered trunk. The second thing she noticed was Professor Lupin curled up on the floor.

“Don’t be alarmed, Jane.” His voice was incredibly hoarse. “I’m alright.”

His body lay limp, skin pressed against the cold stone floor. He was covered in a sheen of sweat. His hair was matted down to his forehead, looking as though it had not been brushed in weeks. Every muscle in his body was tensed, and he clawed at the ground with such force that his knuckles were white.

“I’m sorry that you have to see me in such a state.”

Jane shook her head softly. “Don’t apologize. I volunteered, remember?”

He chuckled. “Unfortunately yes, I do.”

She stood in place with her feet cemented to the ground, wanting to help him but not knowing how.

“Would you like me to explain what’s happening?”

She nodded, though she wasn’t really sure it was something she wanted to hear.

“The night before and after a full moon are the worst days. Right now my genes are fighting for dominance, wolf and wizard. It feels stimulating, but more so like every bone in my body is crushing together. My senses are overloaded… every noise is amplified.”

“That’s awful,” Jane whispered. He inhaled a raspy breath.

“It’s hard to stay still, feeling so restless. Every muscle is being strained and stretched-” he paused, whimpering quietly ”-the pain is unparalleled to any example I could ever attempt to conjure. I usually can’t walk, so Severus covers my classes once a month when I need him to.”

His breathing became more labored and harsh. She noticed he was starting to shiver; from the pain or sweat, she was unsure.

“Is there anything I can do to ease the pain?”

He offered a faint smile. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been around another person at this stage.”

“...Can I come closer?”

He moved his head in what Jane perceived as a nod, wincing at the movement. “If you’d like.”

Jane slowly approached him, kneeling down beside his shivering form. She gingerly lifted his head from the floor and rested it on her lap. Remus groaned slightly at the motion, but exhaled when she set him down. Her fingers weaved into his sweat-drenched locks, playing with his hair in an attempt to put him at ease. He hummed, looking up at her with a grateful grin. His eyes were bloodshot, and his face was unnervingly pale. Jane pushed the matted hair out of his face and offered a sympathetic smile back.

“Helping at all?”

“Feels good,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

She continued to comb through his hair, doing her best to be gentle. The red sky had turned light violet, meaning that the moons ascent had begun.

“Jane?”

She softly ran her knuckles down his tensed jaw. “Yes?”

“The moon… it’s rising.”

“I know.”

He reached out a shaky hand to grab her wrist, stilling her movements.

“I’ll be okay,” she assured him. She could see a trace of fear in his eyes.

“There’s… a dagger, in my left pocket. Take it.”

She reached into his pocket. Remus’s breath hitched suddenly, and Jane snatched her hand away.

“Your other left!”

She felt the heat rush to her face and fixed her mistake, feeling the carved handle graze her palm.

“This is silver! Why did you have this on you?”

He ignored her question. “If… if I attack you. Don’t hesitate. Protect yourself. Don’t worry about me, just do it. Promise me.”

“Remus-”

“Promise. Please.”

She swallowed, heart pounding in her chest. “I promise.”

The sky was in its final stage of telltale indigo. The trees in the distance were now just black silhouettes. Stars freckled the night sky.

Jane heard him groan. His body began to twitch, and his nails scraped against the floor.

“Get back,” he growled. She scrambled to her feet and darted over to the opposite side of the room. Moonlight seeped into the room as the moon made its debut. Lupin looked out the window, and the transformation began.

She watched as his eyes locked onto the bright sphere, pupils growing larger and darker until they appeared black. His body jerked violently on the ground, eliciting from him some of the worst noises Jane had ever heard. He ripped at his skin, screaming in agony. Jane called out his name, but he was too far gone to hear her.

He threw himself back against the wall, hands flying up to his face as his face distorted and transformed. She watched in a mix of amazement and horror as his smooth skin became covered in dark grey fur. His blood-curdling screams morphed into high pitched whines and growls. His clothes, stretched and beyond their limit, ripped apart. All resemblance of her colleague had disappeared. As the beast stood up and stretched its legs, it easily towered over her. The wolf howled, the final traces of Lupin finally gone. In front of her stood a werewolf.

Jane froze as the creature fixed its eyes on her. It growled, low and predatory, stalking up to her on all fours. She tried not to panic.

“Lupin?” she whispered. The beast narrowed its eyes, baring its teeth.

“Remus, it’s me. Jane.”

Her anxiety skyrocketed as it continued to size her up. She was hyper aware of the dagger weighing her pocket down.

The creature was now only a few feet away from her. It snarled, sniffing her aggressively. Without giving it much thought, she slowly lifted her hand out and held it out to the wolf as it approached. She held her breath as its nose bumped into her open palm. Bravely, she took a step forward. She let her hand rest gently on the side of its face, watching its every move.

“I won’t hurt you.”

It was true. Jane knew it as soon as she said it. Even though she’d promised the professor just moments ago, she wouldn’t hurt him. She hoped the beast could sense her honesty.

The wolf nuzzled against her hand, but refused to take its eyes off of her. It seemed unsure as to what her intentions were. Understandably.

“It’s alright,” she said, trying to calm it down. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

After a while, the wolf howled, losing interest in her. It paced the room, settling on the opposite corner from her. She sighed in relief. It wasn’t hostile, at least at the moment. Now that she could actually relax, Jane observed the creature in front of her. It was terrifying, to say the least, but also majestic. Gone were the horrible tales of the murderous werewolf, hungry for blood. The creature in front of her showed mannerisms similar to a large dog. It was fascinating to witness up close. She watched it for hours, until she felt her eyelids drooping. Surprisingly, sleep was quick to claim her.

* * *

Jane woke up with a fright to the sound of pained whining. She sat up in bed. The wolf appeared to be attacking itself, clawing at its face and thrashing about. It was still dark out, but with the sound of birds, she knew sunrise was soon to come. The poor thing couldn’t stop tearing itself apart. She climbed out of bed and snuck over to the wolf.

“Remus,” she begged quietly. “You have to stop. You’re hurting yourself.”

She reached out to pull its arms away, but before she could, the wolf snarled at her. She jumped back, feeling her heart leap up to her throat. There was nothing she could do to stop it. All she could do was watch helplessly as the wolf tore itself into a bloody mess.

Like clockwork, the sky became a wash of pink and orange. The beast began to whimper, cowering back into the corner and shielding its eyes. It began to claw desperately at the floor in an all too familiar way.

He was coming back.

She let time take control and watched as fur began to fall from him in undignified clumps. His claws retracted back into chipped fingernails. There was a sickening _crack_ and his back arched; Jane could actually see each ridge of his spine moving under his skin like something out of a horror film. The grotesque sound of bones snapping echoed in her ears, and one by one, his bones began to snap and reattach themselves. Whimpers were replaced with tormented screams that made Jane feel physically ill. Despite this, she found it impossible to look away.

“Lupin?” She called out to him over the noise, waiting for a sign-- _any_ sign--to let her know that it was safe to approach him again. There was a flicker of a moment, barely even noticeable, where the color returned to his skin and his eyes flashed with recognition, and then with one final grotesque shriek, Professor Lupin returned to the world.

He didn’t say anything at first. The only hint that showed he was even still alive was the consistent rise and fall of his chest. Jane rushed over with a blanket and threw it over his body. The veins along his neck popped out against his sweat-drenched skin.

“It’s over” Jane whispered, “It’s over, don’t worry. You’re done. You did so good, Remus.”


	19. The (Unwanted) Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day morning, 1994

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just a weird sex dream. Skip if you're not into that stuff. (I promise, it won't affect the storyline at all.)

_ Remus tapped his foot as he waited for the train. He had arrived early so as to not miss it, but now he regretted his decision. The train station was crowded, and there was nowhere to sit. By the time the train arrived, he could barely take a step forward without bumping into someone or something. The compartments in the front were all full, so he dragged his luggage all the way to the back. _

_ “Privacy,” a voice said. “Good thinking.” _

_ He turned in the direction of the voice and dropped his luggage to the ground. Jane was lying in the booth to his left, smiling up at him with a look that made him melt. _

_ “I-I beg your pardon?” _

_ He gulped as he felt her tug on the leg of his pants. She walked her fingers up his thigh and hooked them around his belt. _

_ “Getting caught having a shag on a train wouldn’t exactly be the best first impression for your students.” She winked. “Glad you chose a quiet spot.” _

_ Remus backed away from her and stumbled over his luggage. “Sorry, I don’t-” _

_ He went to lean against the exit door, but the door gave out under his weight and he fell through. Instead of falling out of the compartment, he found himself stepping into his classroom. None of his students acknowledged his lateness. In fact, they stared blankly ahead, as if he wasn’t even there. He shook his head and blinked furiously, trying to clear the fog that clouded his mind. He had a class to teach. What was wrong with him? _

_ “Sorry I’m late,” he began, taking his rightful place up front. “I’ve had a very strange morning. Should we pick up where we last left off?” _

_ The class stared on ahead. Nobody made a sound. _

_ “...Okay, er.” He gulped. “Could anyone be so kind as to tell me what we talked about last class? I… I can’t seem to remember.” _

_ A hand shot up immediately. Remus sighed in relief. “Yes?” _

_ “Are you a virgin?” _

_ He froze, not knowing how to respond to such an inappropriate outburst. He opened his mouth to scold the student, only to realize that it wasn’t a student at all. Jane was sitting in the second row, dressed in student robes. Her hand was still raised confidently in the air. A playful smile tugged at her lips. _

_ “That’s not an appropriate thing to ask me in front of a room full of students.” His face scrunched up in confusion. “Wait, why are y-?” _

_ “What do you mean?” She blew a bubble from the gum she was chewing and let it pop against her lips. “There’s nobody else here.” _

_ Remus glanced around the room and felt the color drain from his face. All the chairs aside from the one she occupied were empty. _

_ “What is happening to me?” He groaned, leaning against his desk. Jane ignored him. _

_ “I wasn’t exactly sure. I mean, with the whole werewolf thing, it kind of seems like you’ve never been in a relationship. But who knows. Maybe that increases your drive or something.” _

_ He pinched the bridge of his nose. The room was spinning. Was he sick? Surely he was delusional? _

_ Jane gasped, continuing on. “Is it related to the moon? I bet it is. You go into heat, like a wolf. Oh my god, please tell me I’m right.” _

_ He waved her off, walking swiftly towards the door. “I have to leave, I-I have to get out of here.” _

_ He expected the door to open up to the hallway. This was not the case. His shoe felt nothing but air, and he fell into a seemingly endless pit of darkness. His stomach flipped. This was awful. He couldn’t breathe, yet alone scream for help. His eyes shut tightly. Make it stop, he begged. End this now. _

_ Something tugged on his suit collar, and his body jolted to a stop. He hesitantly opened his eyes, realizing with another relieved sigh that he was in the hallway at least. He looked up to see who his savior was. _

_ Severus Snape pinched the material of his suit between two boney fingers. He grimaced down at Lupin, as if the sight of him alone was too repulsive. _

_ “What are you doing, snooping around at this hour?” He held Lupin at an arm's length. _

_ “I’m not really sure,” he confessed. This was all getting to be a bit much. _

_ Snape sneered. “Seeing as though you have no valid excuse, I have no choice but to send you to detention.” He pulled Remus closer and lowered his mouth to his ear. “And believe me when I tell you, the pleasure that this brings me is… immeasurable.” _

_ At this point, Remus was too exhausted to argue. He let the man drag him down to the dungeons without a fight. He was so, so confused. His head hurt every time he tried to make sense of it all. He was shoved into a deserted classroom, and the door was locked behind him. Great. _

_ Defeated, he trudged over to an empty seat and collapsed into it. His arms covered his face on the desk. Nothing made sense anymore. This wasn’t Hogwarts. This was hell. Though at least he was alone in this room. He could handle being alone. _

_ “You’re not alone, I’m sitting right next to you.” _

_ Remus groaned again. He really couldn’t catch a break. _

_ “Remus, listen to me. You’re okay.” _

_ He lifted his head from the desk and glared at her. “Why do you insist on tormenting me? Just leave me alone.” _

_ “Torment you?” Jane reached out and grabbed his arm. “Yes, you’ve had a bad night. But I’m only trying to help you. I promise, this won’t hurt.” _

_ She pushed up his sleeve to reveal deep gashes cutting into his flesh. Remus didn’t remember giving himself those. Now that he was aware of them, they began to sting. _

_ “Hold still,” she instructed. “I’ll patch these up for you.” _

_ They were sitting on the floor in his bedroom. Remus had given up on trying to explain the logic behind what was happening. It was easier to just surrender to it. _

_ “There,” she said, messing up his hair. “That wasn’t so bad, right?” _

_ Remus smiled weakly. ”Thank you. And I’m sorry for snapping at you. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had.” _

_ “I bet.” Her voice was soothing. This was the Jane that he knew. “I’ve never seen you so bothered. You were starting to make me nervous.” _

_ He rested his head on her shoulder. “It’s okay. I think it might be over now.” Just as he began to get comfortable, he felt a strange dampness on his thigh. He sat up, eyes widening as he noticed the growing red stain on his trousers. _

_ “What’s wrong?” Jane looked at him quizzically. Her gaze lowered to the problem. “Oh! Don’t move, honey. If it’s bleeding that heavily, it’s probably deep.” _

_ He gulped. “NO! No, erm, I can take care of this.” As if to prove that he could, in fact, take care of it, he reached for the gauze. The sudden movement shot waves of pain to his leg, and he yelped in surprise. _

_ “I really don’t mind,” she insisted, straddling him on her knees. “Is it okay if I…” She bit her lip nervously. _

_ Remus understood. “You can take them off if you have to.” _

_ “Okay,” she whispered. Her hands moved to the button of his pants, and she carefully undid the zipper. Remus lifted his hips as high as he could manage, and she gingerly pulled down his pants to reveal the wound. It was deep--deeper than any other injury he’d given himself on a bad night. The scar would be a nasty one once it healed. _

_ “I’m not going to lie to you. This one will probably hurt.” _

_ He grunted as her fingers ghosted over it. “You could never hurt me.” _

_ She applied some type of antiseptic cream. It burned. It took every ounce of him not to squirm. When she brought out a needle, his face paled. She seemed to sense his nervousness, because she offered him her free hand. He held onto it tightly. It was a bit awkward, getting stitches this way. But somehow, she managed to do a decent job. She wrapped an extra layer of gauze over it, just to be safe. _

_ “That should hold until you can find better care.” She traced a soothing pattern along his thigh. “How does it feel?” _

_ Remus couldn’t have communicated how it felt if he wanted to, because all of his thoughts were being short-circuited by his groin. He watched her hand move up and down. It was making him dizzy. _

_ “Remus?” _

_ Every part of him knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t do it. It would complicate things. He’d scare her off. It was a bad idea. He shouldn’t do it. _

_ Wordlessly, he lifted her hand and placed it between his legs. _

_ The look on her face changed to one he had never seen before. His breathing picked up intensity, along with his heartbeat. _

_ “Please,” he whispered. _

_ She wrapped her hand around him. Remus sighed contently. Why had he denied himself of this for so long? This was what he wanted.  _

_ His pants were down to his knees. Her hand moved up and down his shaft in long, wonderful strokes. Pleasure pulsed through his veins. “Yes,” he hissed. Yes, yes, yes. _

_ “Good man, Moony. About damn time.” Sirius watched eagerly from the windowsill, twirling his wand in his hands. He winked, flashing him a mischievous grin. “Make it a good show for me, will ya?” _

_ Remus screamed. _

He woke from his dream covered in sweat.

His dream. Right. It was a dream.

He turned to look at the clock. It was 3:42am. Fantastic. He rolled back onto his back, and it was then that he realized that his hand was still under the covers, wrapped unceremoniously around his cock just as Jane’s had been. He let go at once, covering his face with his pillow.

“You’re disgusting,” he scolded himself. The pillow muffled his words.


	20. Aragog

It was the day before Jane’s birthday, and as she sat in one of Hagrid’s large chairs, she couldn’t have been happier.

Birthdays had a novelty to them that most people grew out of by their mid-20s. Once you could drive and drink, the lack of milestones left people with nothing in particular to look forward to. A birthday was simply another day, and up until this year, Jane had felt the same way. Now, having a group of friends (and a sort-of friend, if she counted Snape), she felt the excitement bubbling up again.

“Naturally, we ought’a celebrate.” Hagrid spoke to her with his back turned. He was feeding a small creature on his counter with a long pair of tweezers. “If yer up to it, I’d love to have yuh over for a drink. Invite yer professor friends too! An’ I’ll see if Dumbledore is able to come.”

“Dumbledore?” She laughed. “I hardly think he’d step away from his duties to celebrate a birthday.”

“Then you don’ know Dumbledore.” Hagrid roared with laughter. “He loves a good party.”

“So it’s a  _ party _ now?”

“‘Course it is. It’s yer birthday, after all.”

Hagrid stared at her shoulder, eyes locked onto something. She looked down at her arm, trying to see the issue.

“Don’t move. There’s a spider on yer arm.”

“Oh!” Her eyes scanned up her arm until she spotted the little critter. “Hi there, little fella.” She held her hand up and cupped it under the bug. It crawled onto her hand, and she quickly snapped her other hand on top, trapping it inside her palms. Then, she walked calmly over to the window, and let it crawl outside.

“Wasn’t expectin’ you to be so calm about it.”

She shrugged. “Lots of spiders at home. They’re good to keep around the house.”

Something in Hagrid’s eyes sparkled. “You mean, you like spiders?”

“I think they’re neat.” She closed the window once it fled, trying to keep the cold February air out. “Misunderstood little creatures, aren’t they?”

Hagrid’s face lit up. “You know what? Change of plans. Tomorrow, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“Should I be concerned?” Jane grinned.

“Be excited. Very excited.”

* * *

“Hagrid,  _ please _ tell me where you’re taking me!”

“Oi! You better not be peekin!”

The snow crunched under their feet. Hagrid held onto Jane’s hand, leading her to the mystery destination. She had to walk in long, rushed strides to keep up with the large man. Every so often he would slow down, or warn her to watch her step, which she found rather ironic considering the fact that she couldn’t see anything. He’d tied a blindfold around her eyes back at the castle.

“Are you taking me into the forest?”

“Maybe.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.”

She was led through an endless stream of twists and turns. It felt like they were walking in a circle.

“Watch this log ‘ere. Hold on.”

She felt large hands grab onto her waist, and then she was lifted into the air.

“Hagrid!”

“Oh, calm down, ya big baby.”

Jane laughed. Her feet touched the ground.

“Just a little further down. Y’might wanna duck, it gets a bit stringy here.”

Jane grimaced. “...Stringy?”

They walked for a few minutes more, and then Hagrid put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“You can take the blindfold off now.”

She blinked, adjusting to the light. It was early in the morning, but the sunrise that peeked in through the trees was a blinding contrast to the pitch black her blindfolded eyes were used to. She could make out a cluster of trees, and a cave in front of them. They were surrounded by thin, white ropes that stretched across tree trunks and fallen logs.

“What is this stuff?” She scrunched her face, touching one of the white strings.

“That there be spider webbing.”

“Spider webbing?” She echoed, eyes nearly popping out of her head. “It’s as thick as my arm!”

“Big spiders,” he replied, as if it were perfectly normal. He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Aragog! I brought’cha a visitor!”

“Aragog?” Jane frowned. Something shifted from inside the cave. Twigs snapped and echoed out from the opening. Jane looked at Hagrid with uncertainty. A giant, furry leg popped out from the darkness, followed by another, and another. Six black eyes blinked back at them.

“Oh wow,” Jane whispered, covering her mouth.

“Aragog, this is my friend. Jane, this is Aragog.”

Jane watched in genuine awe as a giant spider revealed itself. It’s legs were longer than her entire body. She’d seen many spiders before, but never one that was larger than a car. Or two cars.

“Hello, friend of Hagrid.” A deep voice rattled through her bones. Jane gasped, looking wildly between the giant spider and Hagrid.

“Spiders _ talk _ in your world?”

“Not all of ‘em. Aragog here is an acromantula. Breed of giant spider. You won’t find ‘em in yer world.” He turned to Aragog. “It’s Jane’s birthday. I brought ‘er here ‘cause she likes spiders.”

“Your previous friends brought trouble with them.” Aragog clicked his mandibles together. “The small ones. They hurt my children.”

“They were followin’ my orders. I forgot to tell ‘em to bring food.” Hagrid unloaded the sack that he brought with him. The head of a dead deer slipped out, making Jane jump back.

“What does he mean by ‘the small ones’?”

Hagrid scratched his neck. “I asked Harry an’ his friend to talk to ‘im last year, while I was gone.”

Jane thumped his arm. “You told two thirteen year olds to go into the forest alone?”

Hagrid mumbled. “Technically, they were 12.”

“Hagrid!”

“They got out okay!”

Jane shook her head. The giant spider stretched an arm out. It watched her, trying to decide if she could be trusted.

“The spiders speak to me. They tell me they do not fear you. Is this true?”

Jane took a bold step forward. “I don’t kill spiders.” She held his eye contact and slowly inched closer, until she could reach out and touch his leg. She expected the hair to feel like quills, but instead she was surprised to find the texture similar to straws of hay. “I find them fascinating.”

All around them, spiders of all sizes began to surround the area. They came on trees and crawled on the ground, covering everything in moving waves of black and brown. The butterfly necklace around her neck began to flutter.

“Alright, alright.” Hagrid reached into the sack and pulled out three dead deer. The forest was instantly filled with a chorus of shrill hisses and clicks. “I’ll get to feeding yuhs. Jane, feel free to ask ‘im anything yuh want. He’s friendly.”

She stroked Aragog’s leg. “How do you know Hagrid?”

“Hagrid found me when I was a hatchling. He raised me, and brought me here.”

“Do you get along well with the other creatures in the forest?”

Aragog made a noise that resembled a flat laugh. “We equally respect and fear each other. Those who fear us know to stay away.”

“What do you feed on? I imagine bugs are too small for you.”

Aragog’s dark eyes shined. “Humans.”

She casted a sideways look at Hagrid, who shrugged apologetically.

“But not Hagrid. Why is that?”

“Hagrid brings us food. Hagrid brought me here. He is respected amongst my children.”

“Well I would prefer that you also didn’t eat me.”

From behind her, Hagrid let out an amused snort.

“I do not eat friends of Hagrid. But I cannot deny my children a meal when it walks into our home.”

Jane spun around. Hagrid calmly tossed a deer leg into the sea of spiders.

“He’s jus’ messin’ with ya, Jane. As long as I bring ‘em food, yer safe.”

Jane giggled nervously. “Good to know.”

On their way back, Jane eyed the bloody sack draped over Hagrid’s shoulder. He whistled happily to himself, bobbing his head as he walked.

“I thought you said you weren’t a hunter?”

Hagrid stopped whistling. “I don’t hunt. Don’t believe in it.”

She nodded at the sack. “Where did you get the deer from?”

“Found ‘em in the forest. Usually the wolves get to ‘em, or another critter attacks ‘em.” He grunted. “Found these guys with dog bites, of all things.”

“Dog bites?” She frowned. “Are you sure they weren’t wolves?”

“Nope.” They broke out of the forest. Daylight beamed down on them. “Spacing of the teeth. Gotta be a wild dog ‘er somethin’. Get those once in a while.”

Buckbeak screeched when he saw Hagrid approach. He tried to run up to him, but the heavy chain around him held him back. Jane bowed to the hippogriff.

“Hello again, Buckbeak.” She patted his feathered neck. “Good to see you again.”

Buckbeak squawked. He clicked his beak together and nuzzled her hand.

“You should get goin’.” Hagrid pointed at the castle. “Classes will be startin’ soon.”

“You’re probably right.” She started to jog off towards the castle. “Thank you for introducing me to Aragog!”

“Happy birthday!”

* * *

Jane was not at breakfast that morning. Remus eyed her empty chair with peaked curiosity. She seemed fine the last time he saw her. Perhaps she’d slept in, or was feeling under the weather. He decided to wrap up a few crescent rolls to bring to her before class, just in case. 

As fate would have it, he wasn’t the only one who noticed her absence. Severus Snape turned down the same hallway. He disregarded Lupin entirely, keeping his focus straight ahead. Remus wondered if he should say something to the man. He was a bit sharp with him the last time they spoke, and he thought it would be best to try and clear the air.

“Severus.”

The black haired man glared at him.

“What?”

“About the other day… I apologize for losing my cool.”

Snape scoffed. “Oh,  _ really _ ?”

“I was just concerned about Jane’s safety.” He paused. “But I do think we need to talk.”

“I would quite like it if we did anything but that.”

“Severus, I mean it. I’m not out to get you. I’m trying to call for a truce.”

Snape stopped walking. He stared at him with bitter distaste.

“A truce.” His tone was abrasive. “How cute.”

“I know you don’t like me. You’ve made that… abundantly clear.” Lupin crossed his arms. “But I know you’re fond of Jane, though you hate to admit it. And I think that, for her sake, we could learn to tolerate each other. I’m sure it would make things much easier.”

Snape sneered at him. “I don’t know what you’re getting at, but we will never be  _ friends _ .”

“I wouldn’t expect us to be.” He sighed in frustration. “But we can’t go on like this. It would be so much easier if we dropped this act and moved on. I’m sorry that I never intervened when I was younger, when I should have. It was cruel, and I let it go on for way too long. I’ve changed since the time I was 17. I know you have, too. Let’s stop this endless bickering.”

“I’m sorry if I don’t want another innocent girl lured into the arms of another one of Potter’s crew,” snarled Snape. “Your crowd changes people. I won’t let that happen again.”

“Well that hasn’t exactly worked out for you in the past, now has it?”

As soon as the snide remark passed his lips, Remus regretted saying it. Snape’s eyes burned through him, and within seconds he found himself pressed up against the wall with the tip of a wand pressed into his throat.

“You DARE bring her up? You DARE poke fun of her death?” Snape was fuming. He looked as if he could kill him, right then and there. Lupin didn’t put it past him. “It’s all jokes to you, isn’t it, Lupin? All laughs from you and your friends.”

“Severus, I’m s-”

“You  _ will not _ speak of her!”

“I apologize,” Remus wheezed, now on his toes from the iron grip Snape had on him. He coughed. “It was insensitive. I’m sorry.”

His grip loosened, and Remus dropped to the floor. He tugged at the collar of his robes, trying to open his airways to breathe. He kept his eyes on Snape, who held him in the same intense stare.

“We both cared about Lily. I know that.” His words came out raspy. He brought his fingertip to the end of Snape’s wand, slowly lowering it without breaking eye contact. “That was wrong of me to say.”

“And yet you didn’t hesitate.” Severus’s tone had dropped. “You come to me with promises of peace and moving forward, but you’ve still kept your smart mouth. You haven’t  _ changed _ at all.”

He stuck his heel out and pivoted, meaning to walk away. But he only took one small step before freezing in place. Remus saw the terror on his face before he saw Jane standing at the end of the hall, watching them. She had a strange look on her face; Remus couldn’t tell if she was angry or close to crying.

“What are you doing?”

Snape tucked his wand away. “You were not at the Great Hall this morning. I took it upon myself to stop by and see if you were-”

“I was out with Hagrid.” She cut him off, sounding livid. “What are you doing?”

“We were just talking,” offered Lupin, dusting himself off.

“That didn’t look like ‘just talking’.”

“It was all in good fun. Right, Severus?” Lupin exchanged looks with the other wizard. 

“Why is your neck red?” She got closer, locking her eyes onto his irritated skin. She looked up at Snape in disbelief. “What did you do to him?”

“It’s nothing, Jane, really.” Remus tried to divert the conversation elsewhere. “It was just an argument. No harm done. You said you were with Hagrid?”

“I want both of you out of this hallway. My students will be here any minute, and I expect you both to be gone by the time they get here.” She stormed into her room, pausing just long enough to deliver the final blow. “You are both grown adults. It’s time you start acting like it.”


	21. A Chat with the Headmaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The return of Trelawney; possibly my favorite character to write for.

The final week of March proved to be lackluster at best. Jane had yet to talk to either of the boys--whom she referred to as  _ boys _ , not men, because only boys would continue to act this childish--and without a companion to talk to, she was forced to spend her free time alone. Truthfully, she didn’t mind. The hustle and bustle inside the walls of Hogwarts was invigorating, and Jane loved throwing herself into the middle of all the excitement, but sometimes she had to admit that it was a bit much. Some time alone would do her good. It would do them all good.

She loved having time to herself, truth be told. She could manage her way through socialization well enough, but she really thrived in private moments. Sometimes, they served as time for creativity. Left alone, she could easily breeze through drawings like they were nothing. Other times, they served as a time for meditation and reflection. This could be great, and most of the time, it was. But when she let her thoughts go too far, well, that’s when things went awry.

For the sixth day that week, Jane found herself in silence. She thought about her time at the school so far. She thought about the friends she’d made. She thought about her firsts; her first trip to Hogsmeade, her first time seeing the Great Hall, her first venture into the Forbidden Forest, her first time seeing someone do magic. These were happy thoughts. Then, the not-so-happy thoughts filtered in. She thought about Sirius Black, and those haunting eyes that stared right through her. She thought about the Potter boy, and the tragic story Dumbledore had told her. She thought about Neville, at only 13 years old, letting slip in front of the whole class that his greatest fear in life was his own teacher, someone who was supposed to make students feel safe.

“I do not wish to disturb you, Miss Adeline,” a kind voice said. “I can see you’re thinking about something very important. I did hope, however, that you might join me for a nice afternoon chat?”

Jane blinked, shifting her focus away from her thoughts. “Dumbledore! Yes, of course. I’d love to.”

They walked together, exchanging small talk on the way to his office. Jane couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, even though she couldn’t recall doing anything bad.

“Please,” he said, closing the door behind them. “Do make yourself comfortable. If you feel inclined, I have a bowl of lemon sherbets on my desk. Help yourself. I find them absolutely delightful.”

Jane refused the offer, though his friendly tone helped diffuse the strange feeling she felt on the way there.

“I must ask. How are you finding your time here at Hogwarts? Satisfactory, I hope?”

She beamed. “It’s better than anything I could have dreamed of.”

Dumbledore chuckled. “That’s very good to hear. I see you’ve made some friends along the way.”

Jane’s smile faded. “Er, yes sir. I have.”

“An interesting group of people, if I may say. Remus and Severus have a very troubled history with each other. I’m sure you’re well aware of this.”

She sighed, bowing her head. She knew she was here for a reason. 

“Sir, if you’re asking me what happened the other day, I honestly don’t know all the details.” Her shoulders sank. “I don’t know who started it, or what was said, but I only just happened to walk up on them and-”

“Have they had a quarrel?” Dumbledore sounded amused, but not surprised. “Old battles resurface with age, I suppose. Unfortunate, but I can assure you that this is not the reason you are here.”

“Oh.” She sat up a little straighter, relieved that this was not an interrogation. “May I ask why, then?”

“I wanted to check in with you, as I do with all of our new professors. Your case, as I presume you know, is a unique one.” 

“As I said, it’s wonderful here. I truly can’t thank you enough for allowing me this opportunity.” She paused, feeling the one question she had always wanted to ask at the tip of her tongue. 

“Is there something you wish to tell me?” The great wizard peered over his glasses. He asked this patiently, as if he was simply waiting for her to ask. Jane wondered how he always  _ knew _ .

“Yes, sir, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask you, actually.” She folded her hands on her lap. “When you approached me, at the greenhouse. Why…” She struggled to find the words to say. “...I mean, what was it about me? Why did you choose me to come work for you?”

Dumbledore grinned. “I could recognize your curiosity for the world. You seek out the unknown, not for power, or for proof, but simply out of a love for  _ knowing _ .”

“But, why  _ me _ ?” She stressed this point further. It had been bothering her for months. “There are people in the world that are more qualified than me, and they’re magic. Even those who aren’t; you had a world full of muggles, and you chose me. Why?”

He seemed to ponder this thought. He hummed softly, and his eyes twinkled with a look that Jane couldn’t quite place.

“Hogwarts is a place where curiosity blossoms into potential. Even, and most especially, when that potential is unknown to the beholder.”

_ Potential _ . The word felt foreign to her. Out of all the words she’d heard thrown at her through the years, potential was never a word that was brought up.

“Remus said I was the first muggle he’d heard of that was able to enter the wizarding world.” She frowned. “But how is that even possible? Isn’t the world blocked off from non-magic people? There’s a magic barrier, I’ve read about it before.”

Dumbledore nodded kindly. “I see you’ve been spending a great deal of time in the library. Very admirable.” He sat back in his chair, stroking the giant red bird perched on his desk. “You know, Sybill and I were just catching up the other day. She simply makes the best tea; I’m sure you’re aware. We were discussing you, of all people.”

“When was this?”

“Last week. If I’m correct, I believe you were out with Hagrid.”

“Yes,” she replied, “it was my birthday. He surprised me by showing me this giant spider in the forest.”

Dumbledore laughed softly. “That sounds like our beloved Hagrid. Aragog, yes?”

“Yeah.” She laughed along with him. “I wasn’t expecting to talk to a spider at the crack of dawn, but it was so fascinating. Truly unforgettable.”

“Sybill spoke of your friendship with her.” He reached into the bowl on his desk and unravelled a sherbet. “Have you talked to her recently?”

“No, I haven’t.” Jane felt a slight pang of guilt. The last time they spoke was nearly three months ago. “Is she doing well?”

“She’s doing just fine.” He chuckled. “She treated me to a nice tea leaf reading. I’m afraid I will be losing my left shoe sometime in the near future.”

Jane thought back to Hagrid’s disbelief about the divination professor. Clearly, all of the staff shared the same disbelief, though Dumbledore’s teasing came off as nothing short of affectionate. Clearly he trusted her to some extent; if not, he’d have found a replacement.

“Why don’t you stop by and talk to her?” he suggested, twisting the sherbet between his fingers. “I’m sure she could do with some company. She holds a fondness for you.”

“I think I will.” She nodded once, sensing their conversation was coming to an end.

“Do feel free to reach out, if you feel compelled. I do love our little chats, Jane.”

“Of course, sir.” She pushed her chair in. “Have a good day.”

* * *

True to her word, Jane made the long trek up to the divination classroom the following day. She smelled the familiar scent of the over-perfumated room, and before she entered the room, she heard the professor call out for her.

“Jane, my dear girl. I’ve missed your energy. Please come in!”

She laughed to herself, crossing the room to greet the professor. Trelawney grasped both of her hands, staring deeply into her eyes.

“Have you found any good fortune in love yet?” She scanned over her, looking for clues. “Perhaps a journey? My initial reading was so strong. Have you traveled recently?”

“No, sorry to say.” Jane was flustered by the sudden rush of attention she was receiving. “Small conflicts here and there, but nothing that warrants enough importance to dwell on.”

“I see, I see.” Sybill adjusted her wide glasses. “In time, Jane, in time. Let the sands of time reveal your true destiny.”

“If anything happens,” Jane assured her, “you will be the first to know.”

“Indeed I will.” She tapped her head lightly with her wand. “Trust the process, my dear.”

Sybill scurried around the room, clearing some space for them to chat. Naturally, tea was already being brewed.

“You know,” Jane said, “I picked up a book from the library that made me think of you.”

“Hm?” Sybill tweaked her head, clearly curious.

“ _ Clairvoyants & Divination _ . It was a little hard to follow at first, but fascinating nonetheless.”

Sybill poured them each a cup, then joined Jane at the table. “I am familiar with the title, yes. A great guide into unlocking the secrets of the beyond.”

“I never knew that there were so many descendants of divination. I mean, I knew about horoscopes, and tea leaf readings, and crystal balls. But I never knew that there were other magical beings surrounding the topic.”

The professor nodded vigorously. “There are many aspects of divination that have yet to be explored. I myself believed that I was a clairvoyant, but I soon found myself to be a master of many forms of the noble gift of divination.” She clicked her tongue. “No need to limit myself into just one area of expertise. My gift must be shared in whole.”

“It would be cool, though.” Jane sipped her tea. “Knowing that you have a gift like that. How did you know?”

She smiled dreamily. “The fine art of divination called to me at a very young age. My parents discovered my gift when I began to predict the order that I’d lose my baby teeth in. Humble beginnings, but we all begin somewhere.”

“I read that clairvoyants don’t see boggarts,” Jane added. “Must be nice. I had a run in with one, on Halloween. Gave me the fight of a lifetime.”

Professor Trelawney frowned. “Where did you read this?”

“In the book. It said that boggarts are ineffective when paired against a clairvoyant.”

Sybill shook her head. “No, my dear, this is only half the truth. Those with gifts from beyond use mediums of all kinds to relay the divine message.”

“I don’t understand.” Now it was Jane’s turn to frown. “They can, or they can’t see a boggart?”

“They can, but it is not the same as those who lack the gift. They see a reflection of their inner eye!”

“Oh, I think I understand.” Jane lowered her teacup. “It’s like a crystal ball, almost. Is that somewhat correct?”

“Precisely!” She clapped happily. “Any type of medium that is capable of reflection. Mirrors, glass, water… boggarts.”

Jane eyed one of the crystal balls locked away in the glass cabinet. She didn’t feel any special tug, though she wasn’t expecting anything. “Must come in handy, being able to see the future.”

“It is a lost art, I’m afraid.” She took the teacup from Jane. “But an art that I hope to revive. In time, you shall join my efforts. Now, let’s take a look at this cup, dear.”


	22. The Bad Transformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft TW for gore. Werewolf stuff, the usual.

It started off as normally as any other day. Jane breezed through her morning classes with ease. With the first hints of spring in the air, everyone had an extra pep in their step. It had been almost three weeks since she had spoken to Lupin and Snape, and although she missed talking to them, she knew that distance was currently the best thing for all of them. She made it all the way through to lunchtime before things started to go awry.

Hermione Granger, a third year that she had in class, ran up to her just as she was locking up.

“Professor! Professor Adeline!”

“Good afternoon, Miss Granger.” She smiled, but quickly realized something was wrong. Hermione was a normally well put together student. Now, in front of her, she looked worried. “I missed you in class today. Are you feeling alright?”

The girl’s shoulders rose and fell as she caught her breath.

“I’m sorry for missing class, but I needed to find you. You see, Professor Lupin did not show up to class this morning. Harry stayed behind to see if he’d come back, but he never showed.” She gave the professor a pleading look. “We fear something may have happened. He’s never left a class without requesting a substitute. Have you seen him at all today?”

Jane pocketed her keys. 

“I haven’t. Have you checked his office?”

“We did, professor.” She shook her head worriedly. “The lights were out under the door and it was locked.”

Jane began to quickly walk down the hall, Hermione jogging beside her.

“Has anyone else gone looking for him?”

“Yes, professor. Ron and Harry are out looking as well. Neville is waiting outside of his office, just in case.”

“What class are you supposed to be in right now? I can write you a pass.”

Hermione clutched the necklace hidden under her shirt. “Oh, you don’t have to bother with that. I’ll get there in time.”

They made it to Lupin’s classroom. The room was empty, save for Neville, who stood at the top of the staircases. 

“Alright. If your professor asks questions, just explain that I needed your help. I’ll clear things up with the others if anyone asks. Thank you for telling me.”

She hesitated outside the door. It was clear that something still troubled her.

“If you do hear anything, could you let us know?” She tugged on the sleeve of her robes. “It’s just, we do care about him. It would put us at ease.”

Jane grinned at the sentiment, wondering if he knew how adored he was by his students. “If I find anything out, you’ll be the first to know.”

This answer seemed to satisfy the young witch. She muttered a quick thank you before scurrying off to class. Jane, on the other hand, was quite anxious. If the lights were out in his office and he hadn’t shown up to class, there was definitely something wrong. It was the day after a full moon, so he would have called someone in to cover for him.

Trying not to appear suspicious, she fought the urge to run up the stairs and kick the door down, instead settling for a fast-paced walk. She greeted Neville at the top of the stairs. If this was related to his lycanthropy, Jane had a feeling Neville shouldn’t stick around.

“He hasn’t come back yet,” he informed her. “Nobody’s seen him all day.”

There was only one place he could possibly be; one of the few places that his students could not reach him at. Jane knew that somehow, she had to get into his office.

“Neville,” she said, noticing that the boy had his wand on him. “Would you mind helping me with something?”

He nodded eagerly. “Of course, professor!”

“There’s a spell that unlocks doors. Are you aware of it?”

Neville’s eyes flooded with fear. “Me? I’m rubbish at charms! What if the door explodes, or something bad happens?”

“That’s not true. I’ve seen you in action, remember?” She lowered herself to his height. “I was there when you tackled that boggart head on. You did great. Professor Lupin was impressed.”

Neville stared at the door. “You want me to break into a teacher’s office?”

“This is the only time I’ll ever give you permission to, yes.” She gave him a weak smile of encouragement. “Just between us, okay?”

“Alright.” He still sounded unsure of himself, but he drew out his wand. On the first try, the handle jiggled, but nothing happened. On the second time, he pronounced the charm loud and clear.

“ _Alohomora_!”

The office door swung open, revealing the empty darkness inside. Jane clapped happily. She hugged the stunned boy, who stared at the tip of his wand in utter shock..

“Yes! Brilliant work, Neville. Thank you!”

The tips of Neville’s ears turned bright pink. “You’re welcome.”

She sent him along to his next class, promising that she’d find him later to update him. The door to Lupin’s bedroom was locked from the outside. Either he was still inside, or he’d locked it before he disappeared. Jane didn’t know which option to hope for.

“Professor Lupin?” She knocked softly. “Are you in there?”

At first, there was no reply. She pressed her ear to the door. She could’ve sworn she heard breathing from the other side, though she wasn’t sure if her mind was playing tricks on her. Again, she knocked, this time with more force.

“Lupin?”

This time, she was certain that someone had moved within the room. It had to be him.

“Remus, I’m coming in.”

She unlocked the door and turned the handle. Pushing on the door proved to be met with resistance from the other side. Perhaps he was leaning against it in some way? Bracing herself for what was to come, she rammed her shoulder against the door, inching it open.

She froze at the scene in front of her. 

His dresser had been knocked over at some point in the night, blocking the door and explaining the weight that held the door closed. Lupin sat with his back against the wall, the only support holding his weathered body up. He was, for a lack of better terms, a mess. Though there was only a small scratch on his forehead and lip, his chest harbored deep cuts. Identical were his arms, five-lined scratches in various directions. Clearly claw marks. What worried Jane most, however, was that he didn’t seem to be responding to her.

“Remus, honey, what happened?”

Lupin stared blankly ahead, eyes barely even open. She kneeled down beside him, reminiscent of the night she saw him transform for the first time, and cupped his face in her hands. This seemed to bring him back to her. At the touch, he blinked a few times, studying her. He wasn’t completely there with her yet, but at least he acknowledged her.

Her thumb ran over the gash on his lip, wiping some of the blood away. He groaned, tilting his head away from her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m just trying to see how bad it is.”

He looked around the room, taking in his surroundings. While he collected himself, she hastily grabbed some of the ripped fabric from the aftermath of his transformation and lightly dabbed at the cuts on his face. After a minute, he turned to look at her. He tried to say her name, but it came out as half-mumbled, and he blinked aggressively.

“Remus?” she said. The butterfly around her neck fluttered hopefully.

He hummed. “Hello.”

“Hi.” She could barely speak, trying ever so hard not to cry in relief.

“Had a bad night,” he slurred, sounding tired.

“I know.” She held his hand. “You had me worried. You’re bleeding pretty bad.”

“Really? Haven’t noticed.”

“Remus, I’m serious.” She stood up. “We need to get you cleaned up. I don’t know how much blood you’ve lost already. You’ll probably need stitches.”

Weakly, he shook his head. He lifted a shaky arm and pointed at his bedside shelf.

“Top drawer.”

She rushed over, expecting to find some peroxide, or cloth, _something_ to help him. Instead, she was faced with three pairs of socks and a half eaten bar of chocolate. She turned around and glared at him.

“You’re an ass.”

Despite his pain, he snickered. “It’ll make me feel better.”

“You’re bleeding out on the floor.”

He opened his mouth to say something back, but closed it when he saw that she was genuinely concerned. He thought back to her reaction with the boggart. This was, upon further evaluation, probably a disturbing thing for her to relive. He tried to sit up to tell her he was okay, but hissed under his breath at the pain. This did nothing to calm her fears. 

“Alright, check the drawer under the top one.” His eyes clenched shut at the throbbing in his chest heightened. “Tha’should help you.”

His speech was starting to slur again. Jane dug through the drawer, finally locating a small bottle of peroxide and gauze.

“I can only do so much with this,” she warned, kneeling back down beside him. “I really should take you to the hospital wing.”

“Don’ bother M’Pomfrey,” he mumbled. His head began to droop. Jane lightly tapped his cheek, trying to bring him back.

“How long have you been here for?” She hoped that asking him questions would keep him attentive enough not to black out again.

“Hours.”

“Fantastic,” she half-muttered, half-groaned. “It’ll be a damn-near miracle if you’re even able to get up off the floor.” The gauze was unravelled. “I understand that you couldn’t exactly call for help and explain your situation, but it’s better than _dying_ , Remus.”

She dabbed the peroxide onto a clean piece of torn fabric and pressed it to his stomach. The reaction was immediate. Remus cried out in pain, twitching and squirming. Jane simply stroked his hair with her free hand, sympathizing with the poor man and hoping to bring him some resemblance of comfort.

“I know, I’m sorry. I have to.”

The muscles in his jaw tightened. He had to clench his jaw shut, otherwise he’d scream and draw attention. Both doors were wide open, and the last thing they needed was someone walking in on them.

“‘S okay.” he grunted.

The next strip he placed down was somehow worse. This time, Remus couldn’t help but scream. It broke off into a choked sob at the end. His whole body trembled.

“Almost done,” Jane assured him. “Just this last one, and then I’ll clean the smaller ones up.”

He was under too much stress to respond, so Jane tried to be gentle with the last strip. When the soaked fabric touched the exposed wound, Remus had to fight his body’s natural response to jerk away. He inhaled sharply before slamming his fist onto the ground.

“ _Fucks_ sake!”

“There,” she sighed, wrapping the gauze tightly around his midsection. “Bad part is over. Here, lift your arms.”

She helped him raise his arms just high enough so that she could finish wrapping him up.

“Good. Great. Okay.” She hated how aggressively her hands shook. “Arms now. Easy.”

The last remaining strips of gauze were used to wrap his arms. Thankfully, she wasn’t too concerned with his face. A quick disinfecting would suffice.

“You still with me?” She laid her eyes on the professor, waiting for a response. His eyes peeked open. 

“Still here.”

“Good to know. Though I’m surprised you’ve been able to keep quiet for this long without some sort of smartass remark.”

His eyes narrowed and a very weak smile graced his gashed lips. She muffled his smugness in a soaked piece of fabric, dabbing at the open cuts until the bleeding slowed.

It took some time, but Jane was able to patch him up. They both knew this was a temporary fix, but it did the job well enough to get him on his feet (with the added assistance of Jane practically carrying his weight). The hospital wing was on the other side of the castle. She prepared herself for a great amount of hobbling and shifting as the two departed down the hall. 

From open classroom doors, students watched the pair walk down the hallway. Whispers could be heard as they passed by. Remus tried to block it out, while Jane tried to hide his face. Once out of earshot, Remus nudged her side.

“Thank you,” he said. “I do apologize if I’ve frightened you.”

She urged him to move forward. “I was nervous, but only because I saw someone I cared about in a scary situation. If anything, you’ve frightened a few of your students.”

At this, he straightened up. “My students?”

“Harry and his friends. You had them running around the school searching for you. Hermione came running to me wondering if I’d seen you. She was very concerned.”

He grimaced, feeling bad for worrying the children. 

“Tell them I’m alright, and that I’ve just had a fall or something. And I appreciate their concern.”

“Will do.” She pushed the hospital wing doors open with her elbow and hurdled him inside. Madam Pomfrey collected him with open arms.


	23. The Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pictured the lake scene while listening to "Ready Now" by Dodie about a year ago. There was no other reason to include it, but I wanted it in here because in my head it was very nice, and it was the first scene I thought of when thinking of ideas for this fic.
> 
> Also Snape is a terrible person. I want to make that very clear.

“Does it still hurt?”

Jane sat with Remus in his office. Thankfully, the man looked much better than the last time she saw him, but with Remus, you really couldn’t tell how he truly felt.

“ _Tah_ ,” he waved, clearly unbothered. “Don’t even feel a thing. No damage done.”

“How many classes have you missed?”

“Just two.” Remus shrugged. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Though I did miss a meeting with a student. You’ve probably heard me talk about him. Harry?”

Jane nodded, recalling the name. “Hermione said he was worried about you. He almost blacked out on Halloween; I remember him. His parents were James and… oh god, it’s right on my tongue…”

“Lily,” Remus choked out, giving her a weird stare.

“Lily. Right. The Potters.” She hesitated, instantly picking up on the shift in his mood. “I take it you knew them?”

Remus was quiet. He stared off somewhere, beyond her shoulder. “Yes. I knew them.”

She softened her voice, sensing that they were diving into rocky territory. “Were you friends?”

He was quiet again. His mouth remained a thin, straight line.

“Yes, but I’d rather not talk about that. It was a very dark time in history.”

Jane instantly felt like a jerk. “Of course, sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” he said grimly. “I can’t blame you for being curious. I assume Dumbledore has filled you in on the whole story?”

“The gist of it, yeah.” She shivered. “Horrible.”

“Indeed.”

They sat in silence, and Jane debated leaving. Ultimately, she stayed. If he wanted her out, he’d let her know.

“I’m thankful that you weren’t around during that time.” He folded his hands and rested his head on them, elbows leaning on the desk. “I would never wish those horrors upon you.”

Jane observed his micro-mannerisms. He looked like he was fighting with himself, as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t at the same time. She could see it in the way his worry lines twitched on his forehead.

“I met James on the train to Hogwarts.”

She touched his arm lightly. “We don’t have to talk about it, Remus. It’s okay.”

He smiled sadly. “No, I think… I think I should talk about it. I think it’ll be good for me.”

“Okay,” she said, giving him the floor. “I’m all ears.”

“We were both first years. I was in the last compartment, and he and this other kid asked if they could join me. I could tell he was genuinely nice from the first conversation we had. Another kid our age asked to join us a little while later. We all became best friends.”

Jane smiled. She liked the idea of little Remus, chatting away on the train.

“We were a close knit group. Had a bit of a reputation around the school.” He chuckled. “Even after we graduated, and the war began, we stayed close. We were practically family.”

“These are the friends that you mentioned at Hogsmeade, yes?” Jane observed, trying to connect the dots.

“Correct. We called ourselves The Marauders. It was me, James, Pete, and…” He trailed off. It had been twelve years, and he’d never properly unpacked this.

“Wait,” she said softly, putting the pieces together. “James Potter, Peter Pettigrew. You don’t mean-”

“Yes.” Remus sounded very small. “The fourth Marauder was Sirius Black.”

“Oh _god_.”

Remus’s foot tapped anxiously beneath the desk. Even at the mere thought of him, he was a wreck. 

“I was away on a mission when it happened. I couldn’t believe the news when I returned.”

Her eyes flooded with sympathy. “When you said you’d lost your friends, I didn’t think you meant all in one day.”

“That was how things were back then. I never thought that Sir-” he cringed, “-that _he_ would ever do such a thing. The Potters loved him. They took him in as their own son when he was kicked out. James was like a brother to him. I still don’t get it. It doesn’t make sense.”

Jane could sense his emotions rising. She suspected they’d been suppressed for a while. Better to let him vent than intervene now.

“Lily was the smartest witch I’d ever met. Clever as a Ravenclaw, but she was fiery when she had to be. I met her before James, in the library first year. Harry has her eyes. He looks just like James, but his _eyes_.”

Now his fingers drummed anxiously on the desk. He didn’t mean to get all worked up. He just really underestimated how badly he needed to talk about this.

“James made him Harry’s godfather,” he said weakly. He rubbed his forehead. “He spent all this time without parents, and without godparents, and the only one left out of our friends is me. I feel responsible, in a way. There’s so much I wish I could tell him.”

“Why haven’t you?”

He let out a long sigh. “He doesn’t know.”

“He doesn’t know about Sirius, or he doesn’t know about you?”

“Well, both. It’s frustrating, because I knew him as a baby. I watched him on some nights. I cared about this boy for years, and lost sleep over him.” He threw up his hands. “And he doesn’t remember any of it. I can’t come off too strong, because I’ll scare him away, so I have to find ways around it. I give him defense lessons on Hogsmeade days, but it’s so hard not to hug him when he does something right, or when he’s having a rough time. He’s so much like them that it hurts.” He bowed his head. “I love him, but he’ll never know.”

Jane stood up and walked around the desk. She draped her arm around his shoulder and gave him a comforting side hug.

“He’ll know,” she assured him. “Maybe not right now, but he’ll know.”

“I lost him once,” he said plainly. “I refuse to lose him again.”

“You won’t.”

* * *

“Absolutely not.”

Jane raised a pointed brow. “Severus.”

“You’ll have to excuse me,” Snape grumbled bitterly. “I was somehow under the impression that today’s invitation was for two. Not three.” He turned to stare at Lupin. “Three is, after all, a crowd.”

Remus coughed to hide a smirk. “Hello, Severus. It’s nice to see you, too.”

They were outside of the main castle doors. The early days of May had blessed the school with unusually warm weather, and with it came a sense of renewal. A sense that Jane aimed to take advantage of. 

“I invited both of you here.” Jane locked arms with both men. Snape flinched, eyes burning lasers at the point of contact. “I thought, with it being such a nice day, it would be a waste not to spend it with friends.”

“ _We_ ,” spat Snape, gesturing between him and Lupin, “are _far_ from friends.”

“Well I’m quite fond of you both, and I’m tired of your constant bickering. So make your truces for the next few hours, because I would like to enjoy both of your company, thank you.”

Snape, not used to having anyone feel “fond” towards him, blushed furiously and looked away. He refocused his attention on the quidditch fields in the distance as they began to walk.

“Thank you for inviting us out.” Lupin made it a point to be polite. He knew that their fighting secretly upset her, and he sought to make it up to her on their outing today. Besides, it wasn’t like she was alone in her thinking; Remus wanted peace just as badly as she did. He just knew in his gut that Snape would never budge.

“Believe it or not, I’ve never been to the lake.” Jane bounced comically between the two men, who were considerably taller than her. “Better late than never, I guess.”

They reached the lake. Severus was pointedly silent. Remus stared at him, trying to wordlessly communicate with him. _Please make an effort_ , he wanted to say. _We owe it to her_. Snape rolled his eyes, looking away from him.

“What exactly are we doing here, Miss Adeline?” He shielded the sun from his face with his robes. “Your instructions were unclear.”

Jane shrugged out of their linked arms, and turned to face them.

“We are going to enjoy each other’s company.”

Remus grinned. “How so?”

As if to illustrate, she sat down on the grass. She motioned for the two men to do the same. Remus followed her, but was very unclear about what was to happen next. Snape stayed put, watching them with poorly-hidden distaste.

“May I ask why?”

Jane patted the soft grass beside her. “Nope.”

It took another eye roll, and a hefty sigh, but Severus gave in.

“Now what?”

“Lie down.”

Severus and Remus exchanged confused looks. 

“I’m not trying to trick you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Remus shrugged. He lowered himself down to the earth. The grass was warm from being in the sun all day. Severus looked around, making sure that nobody was around. He laid down beside her.

“This is ridiculous,” he said. “I feel ridiculous.”

“Good,” Jane retorted, giving his ankle a soft nudge. “That’s part of the process.”

“What process?” Remus pushed himself onto his forearms and looked down at her. “What exactly are we doing?”

“I told you.” She laughed sweetly. “We’re enjoying each other’s company.”

“Are we?” mumbled Snape. This earned him another kick.

“Behave,” she warned. “And don’t think about it too much. Just lie down for a bit and breathe. Close your eyes if you want to.”

And so, they did exactly that. They laid in silence, listening to the rustle of budding trees and the waves licking softly at the riverbank. The sun warmed their skin and soaked into their clothes, heating them from above. In the distance, birds chirped happily, building nests and preparing for the new season. It was perfectly serene.

Severus found that closing his eyes helped him feel slightly less weird. He would never admit it, not even on his deathbed, but he was starting to relax. Remus, on the other hand, was not shy about it.

“This is nice,” he observed, looking up at the sky. “I’ve never thought to take the time to just… breathe.”

“Thought it would do you both good.” She reached out and held their hands, fingers intertwined through the blades of grass. Snape’s eyes instantly shot open, and he glared at their interlocked hands before staring at Jane as if she’d grown two extra heads. 

Remus tilted his head slightly, looked down at their hands, and said nothing.

“Did you always want to work with potions, Severus?”

Snape opened and closed his mouth, suddenly feeling parched. “No. It just so happened that I was gifted in that area.”

She turned to look at him. “What did you want to do?”

“Defense against the dark arts,” he said, surprising himself with his own honesty. “Right occupation, wrong subject.”

Jane turned her head back to the sky. She closed her eyes.

“You’d be good at it, I bet. I can see you, fighting in the war. You’d take those death eaters out left and right.”

Severus and Remus locked eyes over Jane’s head, sharing an uncomfortable look. Remus’s jaw clenched, but he decided not to speak. Severus nodded once, relaxing back into the grass. The past was the past, and there was no use bringing it back up. _Truce_.

“What about you, Remus?” She fixed her gaze on him. “What did you want to do?”

Remus, without hesitation, answered wholeheartedly. “Teach.”

“I figured.” She smiled fondly. “You’re meant to be a professor.”

“I thought maybe arithmancy, or charms. But I guess I got Severus’s dream job instead.”

He looked over Jane again. Now Severus was clenching his jaw. “Sorry about that, by the way. Not intentional.”

Snape grunted.

“But I’ve thought about owning a bookstore.” Remus added. This was never something he ever truly believed he’d do, simply because the idea of owning enough money to open a bookstore was unattainable. But the thought of it intrigued him. “Nothing fancy, maybe even a muggle shop. But a bookstore. I’d like that someday, I think.”

“That sounds lovely.” Jane sighed dreamily, watching the clouds drift by. “I used to think that I wanted to be a director, or a screenwriter. Like in the movies.”

Remus raised his brows, both amused and surprised. “Really?”

“Film school was too expensive,” she reasoned. “After that, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Art, obviously, but I can’t make a living off of sketches.”

“What did you do? Back in the States?”

Jane’s smile vanished, but returned just as quickly. “Nothing much. That’s why I came here.”

Snape’s brows furrowed. “Where are you from?”

“Maine.” She watched a bumblebee zip by. “On the edge of Bar Harbor. I used to hang around Acadia in the fall. The leaves are beautiful around that time of year.”

Remus had no idea where Bar Harbor, Maine was, but he nodded along anyways. Snape did the same, equally as clueless.

“Must be hard, being away from your family.”

Jane bit her lip. “Eh, not really. You learn to love the quiet.”

“Fair enough.”

They fell into another silence, and gave into the peaceful feeling again. Remus turned his head to look at her, and instantly felt a tug of pure adoration. She was smiling at the sun, with her eyes closed, and the sun was hitting her face at the perfect angle. He caught himself grinning like an idiot, and quickly returned to his original position before she saw him.

“Maine. That’s by the sea, correct?”

Jane nodded. Severus grinned, glad to have the upper hand over Lupin.

“Any strange creatures? Perhaps… a giant squid?”

Remus’s ears perked up. He knew what Severus was leading to. Jane was going to lose her mind.

“Whales, and lots of shellfish.” She frowned. “Can’t recall finding a giant squid. I thought those were just legends. I’m sure they exist, though.”

“There’s one that lives in the lake, you know.”

He’d gotten her. Hook, line, and sinker. Remus was almost impressed.

“There’s _what_ ?” She sat up eagerly. “You’re joking. In the _lake_?”

Severus nodded, pretending to be apathetic. “It’s lived there for years. Disgusting creature.”

She jumped up and ran over to the lake, grinning like a madman. “You’d better not be lying, Severus. I mean it.”

“What would I gain from lying?” he responded lazily.

The two men sat up and watched her pace up and down the lake, trying to get a glimpse of the beast. It was quite comical.

“You’re lying,” she laughed. “It’s a lake. They would have to live in saltwater.”

“There’s merfolk in there, as well.”

She flipped him off without turning around. 

“Now you’re just taking the piss.”

Snape choked on a laugh. Remus blinked in surprise. It was a foreign sound, coming from him.

“Want me to throw you in so you can find out?” Remus waited for the response.

“Want to lose your right eye?”

He grinned, without missing a beat. The sun was already on its way out, casting a golden glow over the water. It silhouetted her body, making her look ethereal.

“I think she might have the power to bring us together after all.” He chuckled to himself. “An angel for the underdogs, so to speak.”

Snape recoiled in response. “Never, and I mean _ever_ , lump me under the category of an _underdog_.” He pronounced the last word as if it were the most offensive thing he’d ever heard.

“If the shoe fits.”

“No.”

“Fair enough.” Remus smirked. 

It was a strange day, but a day that Remus would always think fondly of. He thought back to it a lot, come to think of it. The last happy day before his world began to cave in around him. He wondered, if he’d have known, would he have savored it in the moment? Would he have done anything different?

It was a beautiful sunset.


	24. The Willow Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus had some dark thoughts in this chapter. Nothing too extreme, but I thought I'd point it out regardless. Also, I should probably say that I never spell check anything, so if you saw any mistakes in this story, no you didn't <3

When Remus woke up, all he felt was pain.

He wasn’t in his room back at the castle as he should be. He was lying on his side, unable to move from the violent throbbing that pulsed through his body. The mud underneath him seeped into his wounds, making them burn. Worst of all, his clothes were missing, having been ripped off during his transformation. He was out in the world, horribly injured, and stark naked.

But why was he outside? Why wasn’t he in his room?

He forced himself to sit up, screaming loudly at the movement. Blackness blurred his vision. His head was pounding. Everything ached. _Everything._ Normally, his transformations weren't this rough. They hurt, obviously, but rarely to this severity.

_Think, you idiot. Think._

He remembered leaving the castle after watching Harry and his friends run off to the whomping willow on the Marauder’s Map. The details were a bit fuzzy, but that much he knew to be true. He left the castle as himself, not the wolf.

So how did he end up here?

A scene flashed in his mind of the shrieking shack. Ron’s rat. Pettigrew. Snape. But who else was there? He could recall another person, not a professor, not a student…

...Sirius. Sirius Black.

His name was the missing link. The memories came flooding back to him much clearer. He had reconnected with Sirius, had learned of his innocence and reconciled with him. They had tried to kill Pettigrew, but Harry stopped them. He convinced them to spare him in the name of his father.

Remus attempted to sit up again, hissing in agony. He’d find Sirius; he would know the whole story. Right now, he needed all of his mind and strength to get himself to the hospital wing.

It was a slow, unbearable trek back to the school grounds. He hadn’t the faintest idea what he’d say if anyone found him like this; naked, covered in a mixture of mud and blood, barely able to walk. He’d worry about that when he got to it.

“Blimey, Lupin! What ‘appened to yuh?”

Alright. Apparently that time was now.

“Where’s yer clothes? The students’ll be coming down fer classes soon!”

Remus turned to face Hagrid, but the quick motion was the final blow to his beaten body. He crumpled to the ground, much to Hagrid’s shock.

“Lupin!”

Before anyone else could see them, Hagrid removed his coat and wrapped the professor up. He scooped him into his great arms.

“Hold on, I’ll get yuh to Madam Pomfrey.”

Deciding against using the main entrance, he covered the professor’s face to shield his identity from any onlookers and rushed to the closest door to the hospital wing. Filch eyed him curiously as he shuffled past him, desperate to get Lupin the help he needed.

When Lupin came to hours later, he was relieved to be in bed. Confusion set in when he realized that the bed he was in was not his own bed, but a hospital bed.

 _Did I black out again_ , he wondered. His stirring caught the attention of Madam Pomfrey, who covered her mouth and rushed over to his side.

“Remus, dear, don’t move. You’re torn up pretty bad.” She tugged the curtain closed so that the two of them could have some privacy.

“You must have had a terrible transformation last night, poor thing. When Hagrid brought you to me, you were half alive.”

He breathed, wincing at the pain of his chest expanding and contracting. “I’m sorry to have scared you, Poppy. I can assure you, I’m fine now.”

He went to sit up, but a firm hand to his chest stopped him.

“Remus John Lupin, you are in no shape to leave my hospital wing. Now lay down, and for Merlin’s sake, _stop moving_.”

He slowly lowered himself back down. She huffed, satisfied that he was accepting her care, and quickly went to work on replacing his bandages.

“I haven’t seen you in such bad shape since you were a student here.” She pursed her lips. “Last month gave me quite a fright, but this… you did take your potion last night, didn’t you?”

Remus stilled.

“No worries, dear. Aside from these cuts and scrapes, you’ll be fine. You just need time to heal.”

“Er, Poppy, could you please give me a moment?” Remus’s voice was flat. “I just need a minute or two to think.”

She gave him a look, but reluctantly set her supplied down on the nightstand next to him.

“Alright, but just for a moment. Those wounds need tending to.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

The mention of the potion brought new memories back to him. He remembered what happened outside of the willow. They had finally captured Pettigrew, but something happened. Remus had transformed, leaving Sirius to distract him from the others, and Harry’s friends to deal with Pettigrew. Of course, the traitorous little weasel had turned back into a rat and escaped. The evidence they needed to prove Sirius’s innocence was gone.

Horror flushed through him as he realized that he had likely hurt Sirius. What if he’d hurt the children as well? He couldn’t remember a damn thing after his transformation.

...Because he didn’t take his wolfsbane. In his excitement to corner Peter Pettigrew, he hadn’t even thought to bring it with him on his way out.

Madam Pomfrey returned, and Remus tried to shake the looming feeling of dread from his mind. She patched him up and ordered him to rest for the day. He thanked her for her help as she left to tend to the next patient.

He did sleep through most of the day as ordered. The physical stress put on his body was extremely draining. Around sunset, he woke to the sound of the staff chatting amongst themselves.

“I hate those dementors,” muttered one woman. “Did you see what they did to Potter? Despicable things, they are.”

“Dumbledore is a great man, but I don’t understand why he’d agree to keep them on school grounds after all the incidents they’ve caused this year. At this point, they’re more of a danger to the school than they are a protection.”

A third voice spoke up. “I heard that they found Sirius Black last night, and they got to him.”

The other two women shushed her. She apologized quietly.

“It’s true,” the first girl whispered. “I was sent to treat him. They’re holding him up near the clock tower. Bloody terrified, I was. Imagine being in the same room as a stone cold killer, yet alone treating him.”

The others gasped.

“What was he like? Did he have a murderous look in his eyes? Did he try anything on you?”

Behind the closed curtain, Remus balled his fists.

“He stared right through me the entire time I was there. Like he didn’t even notice me. His face was…” she shuddered, “...blank. Like he’d had the life sucked out of him. It was terrifying.”

“I bet,” said the other woman. “That bloke’s probably been graced by dementors more times than you can count. I’d be surprised if he had any life left in him.”

“They’re executing him at sundown today. It’ll probably hit the papers within the next few days.”

Their voices faded as they walked out of earshot. Guilt filled Remus’s body. His best friend was to be killed tonight because of his own careless actions. If he would have remembered to take his stupid potion, he could have saved Sirius from the torture he endured. He could have made him a free man.

With his eyes closed and fighting back tears, Remus Lupin laid in bitter silence and wished to die.


	25. Loose Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter in the first book. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for sticking around! Books two is already being written, and book three is being storyboarded. If you like what you've read so far, I'd love it if you stuck around. If not, thanks for reading!

McGonagall visited Lupin the morning of his release. She walked him back to his office with the intent of speaking to him. They had important matters to discuss.

“Minerva,” Remus assured her, “thank you for walking me back, but I promise, I’m alright.”

She pressed her lips together, as if she were holding something back.

“That’s not why I’m here, Remus.”

At the wave of her hand, his office door slammed shut, leaving the two of them alone to speak freely.

“While you’ve been recovering, Severus has told the school about you.” Her eyes glistened. “About your lycanthropy.”

Remus leaned against his desk. He knew this would happen, but the news still stung.

“All those times you were late to my morning classes. All the mysterious marks you donned. How did I not realize?”

He watched the older woman wipe her eyes with a sense of uneasiness. It hurt him to see her cry.

“Minerva…”

“And you’ve had to keep it to yourself for all these years. How awful that must have been for you.”

“Minerva,” he repeated softly, resting his hands on her shoulders.

“I always gave you such a hard time for missing classes, and catching you in the halls. If I would have known-”

“But that’s just it. You didn’t know.” He cut her off with a comforting hug. “It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you one bit.”

Her tears subsided just as quickly as they’d appeared.

“Where will you go?” she whispered.

“I’m not sure. I’ll definitely have to resign.”

“The students will be crushed. They love you.”

He smirked grimly. “Their parents won’t love me once the word gets out.”

“I’ll be sure to give Severus a stern talking to.”

She patted him twice on the back as they broke their hug. She studied his face for a long moment, trying to read him.

“You’ll tell Professor Adeline of your departure, I hope?”

He groaned. “Professor McGonagall, we’ve been over this.”

Her eyes narrowed as she found off a smile. “She clearly likes you. And I think it goes without saying that you feel the same.”

“We’re just friends!”

“Rubbish!” She tapped his nose with her boney finger. “I’ve taught hormonal teenagers for decades. I can tell when someone has a crush.”

“A crush,” he mocked, chuckling at her accusation. “I’m not one of your hormonal teenagers, McGonagall.”

“On the contrary, Mr. Lupin. Once upon a time, you were.” She smiled up at him. “You’ve just grown up is all.”

He closed his mouth. She had won this argument.

“Sirius Black is back on the run, and now I’m lecturing one of my old students.” She laughed dryly. “This has been a very interesting morning.”

Remus’s brows furrowed. “What’s this about Sirius Black?”

“Oh dear, you haven’t heard the news.” She shook her head. “Black was captured the other night. His execution was set, but he escaped. The whole school has been buzzing about it, but I suppose since you’ve been away, you haven’t heard.”

She frowned, holding his hand in hers. “Don’t go worrying that brilliant little mind about him, Remus. The boy you knew growing up isn’t the man he is now.”

He tried to mask his relief. _He was alive! He escaped!_

“You’re right, Minerva. I’ll keep that in mind.” He looked around his office. “I should probably get to packing, though. I don't want to make a big fuss on my way out.”

“Very well, Remus. I’ll leave you to it.” She let go of his hand. “It was great having you back here. I’m sorry it was short lived.”

“It was wonderful seeing you again, McGonagall. Seriously.” He hesitated, wanting to say more but holding back. He ultimately decided to tell her, in the chance that this would be their last meeting.

“McGonagall,” he called out to her. She turned around in the doorway.

“You were my favorite professor. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that. Thank you.”

She beamed back at him, tears returning to her eyes.

“You were a wonderful student, Remus. And you’ve grown up to be an exceptionally bright wizard. I’m proud to have taught you.” She opened her arms out to him. “Come here.”

He hugged her tightly one last time. This one felt more final. More meaningful.

“You know, Remus,” she said. “You are allowed to let yourself find happiness.”

He smiled down at her.

“Whether you find it in her, or you find it in someone else. Don’t let it slip away from you if the opportunity is there.”

* * *

After his conversation with Professor McGonagall and an additional farewell from Potter, Remus had finished packing his office. Now all he needed was to gather his belongings from his room and let Dumbledore know of his departure.

He wasn’t going to say goodbye to Jane. Part of him knew he should, and that it would be wrong to leave her without saying anything, but he honestly didn’t think he could do it. They had grown so close, and he feared it would hurt too much.

So he tossed his tattered luggage onto his bed and packed in silence. And he tried not to think about her, or her laugh, or the way she lit up any room she entered. He tried to focus on other things, like where he’d be staying next, or where his next meal would come from. But no matter how hard he tried, his mind always wandered.

_“So you’re the other new blood, huh?”_

_“I’m Miss Adeline, but you can call me Jane.”_

He had known that day at the feast that he wanted to get to know her better. It had all started there. Then there was the time when she stayed with him so that he wouldn’t be alone over the holidays. How they had laughed the day away getting drinks at Hogsmeade, and come back to relax in his classroom. How she had fallen asleep so innocently on his shoulder, and how his heart melted at the sight of it.

_“Aren’t they beautiful? I’ll never get tired of looking up at them all.”_

He thought about how she’d reacted when he revealed his lycanthropy to her. How kind and understanding she had been. How she immediately offered her support.

Images of her flashed through his mind. Jane trying to soothe him the night he’d shown her his transformation. Jane with her hands in his hair, her gentle touch, her calming tone. Jane, the day she found him injured in his room, when she held his face so gingerly and refused to leave his side. He remembered how she’d looked the night of the ball, in her gorgeous yellow dress. How smooth her skin felt as he held her close.

McGonagall’s words would not stop replaying over and over in his head.

_“You know, Remus, you are allowed to let yourself find happiness.”_

His heart pounded fiercely in his chest.

_“You are allowed to let yourself find happiness.”_

He was halfway across the school before he was even conscious of what he was doing. People stared at him as he rushed by. He nearly ran straight into a first year student, muttering a quick apology without looking back. His shoes squeaked as he nearly wiped out, turning the corner.

Her office door was closed, but he knocked urgently. It opened with a click, revealing a confused Jane.

“Hey Remus, what-” Jane gasped, hands flying up to his face. “What happened? Your neck… your cheek!” She swallowed harshly. “Are those _bite marks_?”

He shoved the door open all the way and barged in. Without saying a word, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Her eyes widened, but she soon gave in, hands cradling his face. He led them backwards--lips still attached--until they hit the wall. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands moved to her thighs, lifting her up to get a better hold of her. He kissed her, deeply and intensely, all of his pent up feelings surfacing all at once.

And then, he stopped.

She blinked up at him, eyes staring at his lips before returning to meet his eyes. They were both out of breath. Neither dared to speak, both from a loss of words and the shock of it all. Between them, Jane’s butterfly necklace flapped its wings.

Remus began to back up, face draining of its color. The room began to spin, and the air became thick. Jane took a step towards him, as if to stop him, but he stumbled out of the room, mumbled what sounded like a rushed apology, and disappeared.


End file.
